Hazel Weakly
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hazelweakly.me
Hazel Weakly
@hazelweakly.me
8.8K followers 940 following 5K posts
I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. They never stop thinking. Never stop thunking.

hachyderm.io/@hazelweakly
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hazelweakly.me
New Year’s Eve was a lot of fun! 🥰
Hazel looks at the camera with a smirk, trying to not laugh. She’s wearing a black dress and studded statement necklace with full glam blue eyeshadow makeup and wavy hair
January 3, 2026 at 9:38 AM
hazelweakly.me
WHY?! How in the metrics driven, data informed, cost conscious, post ZIRP, mass layoff’d, “top tier talent” harvesting of fuckery did anyone justify this as a thing?

Raising prices year after year, for features nobody asked for, and then laying off the efficiency teams… so the emojis can be added??
An email detailing a new feature for gmail for workspace Dear administrator, We're writing to let you know that starting February 9, 2026, Gmail emoji reactions will be enabled by default for all existing and new customers. We've provided additional information below to guide you through this update. What this means for your organization Key changes: The Gmail emoji reactions feature will be turned on for all customers by default, unless admins in the organization have previously changed the feature setting or updated the setting before February 9, 2026. Potential impact: Gmail emoji reactions let you react to Gmail messages on the web, Android, and iOS. The feature was previously launched to Google Workspace customers in an opt-in phase effective April 2025 (with the default admin setting disabled), and has been available for free Gmail accounts since 2023.
December 9, 2025 at 9:59 PM
hazelweakly.me
You rang?

Also, rude
A text subset of the screenshot of CI runs with one saying “plugins (Hazel): awk” I’m jokingly implying that the CI run is calling me awkward
December 7, 2025 at 7:16 PM
hazelweakly.me
It ain’t American that’s for sure. But it’s tasty as heck
Hazel eats a salmon pizza cooked napoleon style and it’s delicious. Paired with red wine
November 23, 2025 at 5:16 PM
hazelweakly.me
Bought the beginnings of a living room today ❤️

… and then carried it solo a flight of windy Dutch fucking death trap stairs.

That fucking couch. It kept getting its poofy poofies caught on some jank ass stair edge. I finally had to leg press that motherfucker around the corner near vertical
Hazels couch and rug and four bits of furniture and her two heavy coats, blankets, in the new living room of her apartment
November 23, 2025 at 12:42 AM
hazelweakly.me
I am very excited to announce that I joined ING as an Architect V, working in the Global Engineering and Reliability department!

This is one of those rare opportunities that presents itself once in a lifetime.
A picture of a banner that says welcome to ING. Behind it is a lion. Behind that is a cup with the ING logo that says do your thing.
November 10, 2025 at 6:18 AM
hazelweakly.me
It’s almost like you can tell when I started working in the EU. Wild how that works

(You’re still doing way better tho)
A rank query site showing a sharp spike from website rank of 420k to 378k for hazelweakly.me in the eu. Starting from when I started working in the EU (Nov 3)
November 6, 2025 at 5:03 PM
hazelweakly.me
New headshot time! The old one was starting to not look like me anymore and we can't have that, can we?
Hazel looking at the camera, wearing blue lipstick, blue sweater, and blue makeup, with leaf earrings and wavy hair
November 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
hazelweakly.me
A banner from the website of the real estate listing for the castle, saying: Energy performance certificate - ask agent
November 4, 2025 at 9:33 PM
hazelweakly.me
Once again: can I please look like Miriam Maisel at every opportunity?
Mrs Miriam maisel looking fabulous in four classic 1940-1960s outfits that are stunning on her
October 20, 2025 at 12:15 AM
hazelweakly.me
Day two of StaffPlus NY is a go!
Hazel looks at the camera wearing a bookshelf dress, rose earrings, and fire colored makeup
October 16, 2025 at 1:29 PM
hazelweakly.me
Ready for day one of StaffPlus NY!

Plus, uhh, Face ID doesn’t work for me anymore because apparently my makeup is too fierce for it? 💁‍♀️
Hazel looking at the camera with an ombré lipstick and bright eyeshadow and a green satin jumpsuit
October 15, 2025 at 1:17 PM
hazelweakly.me
The curls fall out within a few hours no matter what I do, but the face card remains flawless all day 💅
Hazel with fall leaf earrings and bold blue lipstick and blue eyeshadow
October 13, 2025 at 7:15 AM
hazelweakly.me
This is last year! I’m gonna miss Halloween this year but that’s fine I guess 😭💔
Hazel looks at the camera and smiles while wearing a dress with Halloween hands and eyeballs on it and pumpkin earrings
October 12, 2025 at 4:21 AM
hazelweakly.me
There was a weird flavor of writing back where everything was extremely authoritative. Wild ass claims, stated as scientific fact

Here are some examples hair-and-makeup-artist.com/beauty-adver...

(Ofc I do profess to being ignorant here. Ad copy is not an expertise of mine at all)
A soap ad for la mar reducing soap. Showing a woman getting slimmer over time La-Mar Reducing Soap. The new discovery. Results quick and amazing-nothing internal to take. Reduce any part of body desired without affecting other parts. No dieting or exer-cising. Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing double chin, abdo-men, ungainly ankles, unbecoming wrists, arms and shoulders, large busts, or any superfluous fat on body. Sold direct to you by mall, post paid, on a money-back guarantee. Price 2/- a cake or three cakes for 4|-; one to three cakes usually accomplish the purpose. Send postal or money order to-day.
October 5, 2025 at 2:19 PM
hazelweakly.me
My heart is full ❤️

@elchefe.me spoils me rotten
Hazel looks at the camera, wearing makeup, bedazzled earrings and a thick bedazzled necklace. Her dress is purple Hazel looks at a mirror shot selfie in a hotel hallway with a slit purple dress, clutch, and a smile Hazel and Tim looking at the camera Hazel leans over to kiss Tim as they look into the camera
September 28, 2025 at 11:17 PM
hazelweakly.me
I’m 99.9% apparently, so whatever that means for hockey stick shape 🤷‍♀️
Hazel Weakly's Profile Stats « Audience: Hazel Weakly is very popular and has more followers than 99.9% of all users on Bluesky. 17 Join date: Hazel Weakly is a Bluesky trailblazer, being among the first 1% of Bluesky users. Starter packs: Hazel Weakly is listed in 69 starter packs. Recent activity Last post about 13 hours ago, posted 31 times in the last 7 days. Last like less than a minute ago, liked 367 posts in the last 7 days. Last follow about 11 hours ago, followed 1 user in the last 7 days. Received 346 likes and 34 reposts in the last 7 days.
September 24, 2025 at 2:39 PM
hazelweakly.me
please remember to stock up on your tylenol!! wouldn't wanna accidentally lose your autism at the beginning of the season
A picture of a cat in a pretty autumn outdoor scene, standing by a lake looking into the water, surrounded by an idyllic scene of trees and a lake shore. The text says "it's finally autism"
September 22, 2025 at 5:25 PM
hazelweakly.me
Understanding this bash script is left as an exercise to those who have gazed into the abyss and it was the abyss who needed therapy
#!/usr/bin/env bash this="$(basename "$(test -L "$0" && readlink "$0" || echo "$0")")" combination="and" a="crimey times" aa="bashy script" : "I'm at the $a" : "I'm at the $aa" # "${!combination} ${!combi*} $(eval "echo $(sed 's/ /} '"$combination"' ${/g' <<<'${'"${!a*}"'}')")" eval "echo $(cat < <(sed '5q;d' "$this") | tr -d ':')" eval "$(cat < <(sed -n '10s/5/6/p' "$this"))" cat <(printf "echo 'I'\\\\''m at the'") <(sed -n '8s/^#//p' "$this") >>"$this" sed -i '$d' "$this"
August 6, 2025 at 12:36 AM
hazelweakly.me
For the past 12 years, Lupita has been my partner in crime. She’s seen everything. Despite starting to show her old age recently, she’s always been a happy queen

Today, time finally caught up with her, and I had to let her go. She’s not in pain anymore, but I’m gonna miss her tremendously ❤️
A picture of a book with a baby picture of lupita, a black lab dog, on it. It says “lupita: the story of a cci hearing dog. 2011–2025” Lupita as a puppy is chewing on a elephant stuffed animal Lupita as an adult sits on a lawn and licks her lips Lupita as an elderly queen, with me hugging her, lays down at the vet a few moments before we put her to rest
July 27, 2025 at 2:25 AM
hazelweakly.me
I shan’t. They are all my beloved children
A screenshot of safari on the phone with “404 Tabs” circled in red showing how many tabs I have on my phone
July 10, 2025 at 3:12 PM
hazelweakly.me
Today’s my birthday!

So obviously I had to dress for the occasion
Hazel looks at the camera wearing a burgundy moon and stars corduroy ruffled pinafore, with polkadot vintage shirt tied in a bow at the collar, character tights, and black heels with a swirly strap. She’s wearing black lipstick, a flower in her hair, and gold mystic earrings to complete the theme
July 8, 2025 at 10:29 PM
hazelweakly.me
I, uhhh, don’t know who my Hazel coded characters are. What do you think? 👀

Actually I do know one: Violet Evergarden.

But I dunno the others!
Violet evergarden looks up at the camera. She’s a blonde anime women set in turn of the century era Western Europe (steampunk vibes) with a mechatronic hand
June 25, 2025 at 10:18 AM
hazelweakly.me
Brb, @kelseyhightower.com, I’m gonna steal this as an example of A/B testing in public

(Just kidding, but I thought it was funny to see them right next to each other like that)
Two posts from Kelsey one right after the other. One says “the best resume is your reputation”. The other says “your reputation is the best resume”. The first one has more likes and reposts and comments (238, 23, 7). The second has 190 likes, 17 reposts, 4 comments.
June 25, 2025 at 10:14 AM
hazelweakly.me
What if the librarian killed god with their smirk instead of their gender?
Hazel smirks at the camera wearing green lipstick, Cat eye glasses, and a green dress, with sultry eyeliner and a circuit chip earring
June 21, 2025 at 1:21 PM