Michael Heiman
@heimytimes.bsky.social
LA native. Jewish. Cat-daddy. Works with kids and performs comedy. Nerdy, liberal, and unapologetic about both.
Did a whole bunch of home chores on a SATURDAY morning and I have time to spare BEFORE I have to work today. On a normal weekend I’d put all this off to Sunday, and then put it off again. 4 day weekend is a game changer.
December 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Did a whole bunch of home chores on a SATURDAY morning and I have time to spare BEFORE I have to work today. On a normal weekend I’d put all this off to Sunday, and then put it off again. 4 day weekend is a game changer.
Everyone go check out the December issue of the Tolucan Times and read my article about Hanukkah. A little funny, a little heartfelt, and all true! I loved writing it and I hope you love reading it! You also might just see some more work from me in the future. #hannukah #tolucalake #localnewspaper
December 19, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Everyone go check out the December issue of the Tolucan Times and read my article about Hanukkah. A little funny, a little heartfelt, and all true! I loved writing it and I hope you love reading it! You also might just see some more work from me in the future. #hannukah #tolucalake #localnewspaper
Why is Lyra dressed like she’s already in Saudi Arabia?
December 14, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Why is Lyra dressed like she’s already in Saudi Arabia?
Rewatching Stranger Things, now a couple episodes into season 4. I forgot how gruesome those deaths were. Also those high school kids are unbelievably cruel to Eleven. When she hits that girl I’m like yeah, she deserved it.
November 24, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Rewatching Stranger Things, now a couple episodes into season 4. I forgot how gruesome those deaths were. Also those high school kids are unbelievably cruel to Eleven. When she hits that girl I’m like yeah, she deserved it.
I’m buying a gold Yamamoto jersey immediately
November 2, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I’m buying a gold Yamamoto jersey immediately
No matter the outcome, this might be the best game 7 in baseball history
November 2, 2025 at 4:03 AM
No matter the outcome, this might be the best game 7 in baseball history
The most stressful free baseball we’ll ever have
November 2, 2025 at 3:40 AM
The most stressful free baseball we’ll ever have
THE LEGEND OF KIKÉ GROWS
November 1, 2025 at 3:17 AM
THE LEGEND OF KIKÉ GROWS
I just gave my 15 year old cat fluids so he doesn’t die of dehydration, then he climbed on my chest in bed and peed on me and started laying down and purring. I have no idea what he wants or what he’s trying to tell me.
October 28, 2025 at 9:08 AM
I just gave my 15 year old cat fluids so he doesn’t die of dehydration, then he climbed on my chest in bed and peed on me and started laying down and purring. I have no idea what he wants or what he’s trying to tell me.
Reposted by Michael Heiman
this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either
September 14, 2025 at 1:50 AM
this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either
Clearly I’ve been out of town just long enough since I’ve woken up to several “when are you back?” texts.
September 10, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Clearly I’ve been out of town just long enough since I’ve woken up to several “when are you back?” texts.
So long LA, see you in a couple weeks. Europe, I’m coming for ya!
August 29, 2025 at 5:07 AM
So long LA, see you in a couple weeks. Europe, I’m coming for ya!
Reposted by Michael Heiman
Hillbilly Elegy looks like a gag in 30 Rock where Jenna is playing both roles in an attempt to win two Oscars for the same movie.
May 26, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Hillbilly Elegy looks like a gag in 30 Rock where Jenna is playing both roles in an attempt to win two Oscars for the same movie.
New fresh hell unlocked. Getting numbed and drilled for a cavity while slightly hungover.
May 16, 2025 at 6:54 PM
New fresh hell unlocked. Getting numbed and drilled for a cavity while slightly hungover.
Sinners is such a great fucking movie. It’s just cool and stylish at every turn. Amazing music and amazing use of music.
May 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Sinners is such a great fucking movie. It’s just cool and stylish at every turn. Amazing music and amazing use of music.
If you want to see the worst drivers in LA, just go for a spin on the 405
May 8, 2025 at 8:25 PM
If you want to see the worst drivers in LA, just go for a spin on the 405
Fenix’s WWE theme is terrible. Sounds like it’s trying to be Punk and Paul’s. Even though I knew it was Fenix coming out I questioned it because the theme is so bad.
April 8, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Fenix’s WWE theme is terrible. Sounds like it’s trying to be Punk and Paul’s. Even though I knew it was Fenix coming out I questioned it because the theme is so bad.
Reposted by Michael Heiman
Get ready for some world-class gaslighting tonight, as Donald Trump tries to paint a rosy portrait of the cost increases, corruption increases, and chaos of his first two months.
March 5, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Get ready for some world-class gaslighting tonight, as Donald Trump tries to paint a rosy portrait of the cost increases, corruption increases, and chaos of his first two months.
Reposted by Michael Heiman
they can take over the entire country but they can never actually be cool and it will eat at them forever
February 10, 2025 at 2:15 AM
they can take over the entire country but they can never actually be cool and it will eat at them forever
Hanging out at home shirtless in a robe but still wearing a gold chain is a total vibe.
February 10, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Hanging out at home shirtless in a robe but still wearing a gold chain is a total vibe.
I hate it. I hate Charlotte winning. Pretty good Rumble match, but a lot of missed opportunities. Loved seeing so many NXT women in it.
February 2, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I hate it. I hate Charlotte winning. Pretty good Rumble match, but a lot of missed opportunities. Loved seeing so many NXT women in it.
YEEEEEES!!!! Alexa Bliss is back!!!
February 1, 2025 at 11:57 PM
YEEEEEES!!!! Alexa Bliss is back!!!
The Brutalist is a 3:34 long movie with an intermission. It should win best picture on that alone.
January 30, 2025 at 6:11 AM
The Brutalist is a 3:34 long movie with an intermission. It should win best picture on that alone.
Not that it was ever in question, but HBK still got it.
January 27, 2025 at 7:45 AM
Not that it was ever in question, but HBK still got it.
A delightful evening was had!
Burns' Night celebration with @heimytimes.bsky.social at Tam O'Shanter in Atwater Village!
January 23, 2025 at 7:07 AM
A delightful evening was had!