My culture is not your costume 🤧

G Major and her friends have started a WhatsApp group called "Year 6 Mums". They all have alter egos and are messaging humble brags about their imaginary children and pass agg comments on each others' middle aged appearance

When you’re getting in trouble for the destruction of the crab population but they’re just so delicious

It’s G Minor’s birthday
Hip hip hooray!
She’s getting so old;
Double figures today.
So happy 10th birthday.
I hope it’s a slay.
Cos guess what? Tomorrow….

My brain at 3am

What a slag

This will forever be my favourite conversation with G Major

20 years ago to the day, I stepped off a flight to LHR, having packed up, sold and given away my life in Brisbane with no plans to return

When your child asks daft questions, they get daft sweatshirts

Doggy’s Midnight Runners

Thrilled to have been gifted a sewing kit for Christmas

He’s written in clay
He’s sent it to Ur
He’s made a complaint
About some copper
Ea-nāṣir is taking the piss

G Major (Year 7) has spent the afternoon haunting the high street of a friend’s town and will be on the rampage in glamorous Aylesbury on Wednesday after a half day at school and honestly I’m thrilled. I can’t understand these parents who are reluctant to let their kids out and about

EXCITED TO SEE NIRVANA ON THE CAROL PROGRAMME

His lawyer is taking this as a win because he didn't go with his first statement of 'frigid lesbians in dungarees who can't take a joke'

Middle class women of a certain age often speak up because middle aged women have just quite simply had enough of your shit. When I was younger I let so much atrocious behaviour pass because you’re too worried about what people think etc. Speaking up doesn’t always mean you’re a fucking “Karen”

They Might Be Giants (they were not)