sam
@homecomingserf.bsky.social
direct-to-video release | any pronouns
nothing like reading the residential tenancies act on a sunny friday afternoon
January 24, 2025 at 10:11 PM
nothing like reading the residential tenancies act on a sunny friday afternoon
four great horror performances that didn't get nominated for an oscar
January 23, 2025 at 10:54 PM
four great horror performances that didn't get nominated for an oscar
despite the fact my brain is made of fudge that's been left in the sun too long rn, I went to the post office, called my mum, folded two loads of laundry, put clean sheets on my bed, made a really nice dinner, AND painted my nails this evening. so maybe I'm god 🤔
January 23, 2025 at 3:56 AM
despite the fact my brain is made of fudge that's been left in the sun too long rn, I went to the post office, called my mum, folded two loads of laundry, put clean sheets on my bed, made a really nice dinner, AND painted my nails this evening. so maybe I'm god 🤔
Reposted by sam
January 22, 2025 at 7:54 PM
pretty sure my body is not only keeping the score but also calling penalties
January 22, 2025 at 9:40 PM
pretty sure my body is not only keeping the score but also calling penalties
I will confess, I am a man on the brink right now
January 18, 2025 at 4:27 PM
I will confess, I am a man on the brink right now
man nearly three weeks off really eroded all of my patience for my job and coworkers
January 14, 2025 at 7:45 PM
man nearly three weeks off really eroded all of my patience for my job and coworkers
Reposted by sam
Remember: It’s always more important to identify actors from their previous roles than it is to watch the current movie on your screen.
January 10, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Remember: It’s always more important to identify actors from their previous roles than it is to watch the current movie on your screen.
the thing they don't tell you about grieving as a kid is that you'll spend $800 to do it, and not even get a carry on bag
January 7, 2025 at 5:48 PM
the thing they don't tell you about grieving as a kid is that you'll spend $800 to do it, and not even get a carry on bag
Reposted by sam
you know, it’s very sweet that so many drivers recently see me having so much fun in the crosswalk and decide they want to play with me. they’re just like big puppies! one-ton metal puppies! so sweet!
January 7, 2025 at 3:26 PM
you know, it’s very sweet that so many drivers recently see me having so much fun in the crosswalk and decide they want to play with me. they’re just like big puppies! one-ton metal puppies! so sweet!
I feel I can't possibly be the first person to figure this out but... put lao gan ma spicy chili crisp on your popcorn. do it
January 7, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I feel I can't possibly be the first person to figure this out but... put lao gan ma spicy chili crisp on your popcorn. do it
this account is not a safe space for drivers. much like the superstore parking lot is not a safe space for me
January 7, 2025 at 1:15 AM
this account is not a safe space for drivers. much like the superstore parking lot is not a safe space for me
all y'all rolling through stop signs and rushing to make left turns when the light is already red are gonna get me in trouble one day. because I'm going to forget myself and yell instead of just grumbling under my breath and then I'm gonna get myself vehicular manslaughtered
January 7, 2025 at 1:14 AM
all y'all rolling through stop signs and rushing to make left turns when the light is already red are gonna get me in trouble one day. because I'm going to forget myself and yell instead of just grumbling under my breath and then I'm gonna get myself vehicular manslaughtered
help what am I doing for nye? bar hopping? emo night? staying home and watching the entire blade trilogy? a heretofore unknown fourth thing?
December 31, 2024 at 7:43 AM
help what am I doing for nye? bar hopping? emo night? staying home and watching the entire blade trilogy? a heretofore unknown fourth thing?
I'm thinking impure thoughts about my maintenance guy's squat depth
December 20, 2024 at 9:44 PM
I'm thinking impure thoughts about my maintenance guy's squat depth
of course I have water backing up into my kitchen sink the day before I go on a multi day work trip, come home, and almost immediately leave again for christmas 😔
December 15, 2024 at 8:57 PM
of course I have water backing up into my kitchen sink the day before I go on a multi day work trip, come home, and almost immediately leave again for christmas 😔
thought I saw an ex on the bus but turns out he lives in nova scotia and is built like a fridge these days
December 12, 2024 at 12:56 AM
thought I saw an ex on the bus but turns out he lives in nova scotia and is built like a fridge these days
it's honestly astonishing it took me as long as it did to consider working in policy. I'm so good at rules
December 10, 2024 at 10:14 PM
it's honestly astonishing it took me as long as it did to consider working in policy. I'm so good at rules
Reposted by sam
COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN
December 10, 2024 at 5:10 AM
COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN
every second post on my socials rn (stones, glass houses)
December 4, 2024 at 7:57 PM
every second post on my socials rn (stones, glass houses)
just spent $130 on two bags of groceries. the trout population will be affected
December 4, 2024 at 12:33 AM
just spent $130 on two bags of groceries. the trout population will be affected
why am I sitting at my desk staring into space when I could be at home making bibimbap
November 29, 2024 at 4:14 PM
why am I sitting at my desk staring into space when I could be at home making bibimbap