Worked in a family ran company, now they've been taken over by a massive corporate. I have a uniform now and it's a red t shirt. I am a massive Everton fan and hate all things red. Looking for another job as I can't bear it.

Blazing row with wife. Stormed out, got in car and drove. Hadn't gone for morning poo yet. Got caught short in the middle of nowhere, found myself weeping and rage-shitting in the middle of a forest. Move your bowels before you leave the house, lads.