KDP
@humanxlampshade.bsky.social
If it’s beef you’re looking for, I’m here to throw my meat on your table
Losing Tig has me on Reddit looking to see if Pet Psychics are a real thing 🙃
December 11, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Losing Tig has me on Reddit looking to see if Pet Psychics are a real thing 🙃
Two weeks ago I had a dog who I thought just had some tummy issues. Now he’s been gone for 3 days and I miss him so much. He was my baby who followed me everywhere and wanted to be in my lap 24/7. Everyday when I come home and he’s not here to greet me feels like a knife in my heart.
I miss him 💔
I miss him 💔
December 6, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Two weeks ago I had a dog who I thought just had some tummy issues. Now he’s been gone for 3 days and I miss him so much. He was my baby who followed me everywhere and wanted to be in my lap 24/7. Everyday when I come home and he’s not here to greet me feels like a knife in my heart.
I miss him 💔
I miss him 💔
If I had a nickel for every time one of my dogs was diagnosed with end stage kidney disease around a holiday, I would have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s SUPER depressing to happen twice.
November 27, 2025 at 9:47 AM
If I had a nickel for every time one of my dogs was diagnosed with end stage kidney disease around a holiday, I would have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s SUPER depressing to happen twice.
My favorite genre of music is when the singer sounds like he has a loaded gun in his mouth
November 7, 2025 at 1:11 PM
My favorite genre of music is when the singer sounds like he has a loaded gun in his mouth
Called a psychiatrist and no one was there to answer the phone. I’ll take that as a sign
September 30, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Called a psychiatrist and no one was there to answer the phone. I’ll take that as a sign
Reading your old fanfiction and realizing it kinda slaps only to be disappointed that there’s not more because you quit updating it is a wild experience.
September 18, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Reading your old fanfiction and realizing it kinda slaps only to be disappointed that there’s not more because you quit updating it is a wild experience.
Day shift supervisor: you ever think about coming to day shift?
Me: Absolutely the fuck not
Me: Absolutely the fuck not
June 13, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Day shift supervisor: you ever think about coming to day shift?
Me: Absolutely the fuck not
Me: Absolutely the fuck not
Reposted by KDP
I’ve been single-handedly outpacing all of dayshift and no one can figure out why so I have to personally email the plant managers everyday with my output number so they can “study me” and while the praise is nice I can’t help but feel like a bug under a microscope that’s about to be squished 😐
May 21, 2025 at 11:17 AM
I’ve been single-handedly outpacing all of dayshift and no one can figure out why so I have to personally email the plant managers everyday with my output number so they can “study me” and while the praise is nice I can’t help but feel like a bug under a microscope that’s about to be squished 😐
Today is a Bad Thoughts day.
Thank god I’m at work where I’m forced to be alone with said Bad Thoughts for the next 8 hours.
Thank god I’m at work where I’m forced to be alone with said Bad Thoughts for the next 8 hours.
May 16, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Today is a Bad Thoughts day.
Thank god I’m at work where I’m forced to be alone with said Bad Thoughts for the next 8 hours.
Thank god I’m at work where I’m forced to be alone with said Bad Thoughts for the next 8 hours.
Cool Blue Gatorade tastes like swimming pool water but like in a good way
May 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Cool Blue Gatorade tastes like swimming pool water but like in a good way
First new hire of the year lasted exactly 1 (one) hour 😐
April 18, 2025 at 11:46 AM
First new hire of the year lasted exactly 1 (one) hour 😐
A guy at work just walked up to me and said “whatchu know about Justin Timberlake on the vape?” and proceeded to show me his vape that had a speaker on it? We really are living in the future
April 16, 2025 at 5:59 AM
A guy at work just walked up to me and said “whatchu know about Justin Timberlake on the vape?” and proceeded to show me his vape that had a speaker on it? We really are living in the future
Reposted by KDP
My brother and I have an inside joke at work that our boss vaguely resembles a beaver so whenever we see him quickly walk off somewhere we look at each other and go “there must be some running water over there”
March 31, 2025 at 10:41 AM
My brother and I have an inside joke at work that our boss vaguely resembles a beaver so whenever we see him quickly walk off somewhere we look at each other and go “there must be some running water over there”
Is it Actually Cringe or is it Cringe Because I Made it?
A memoir by me
A memoir by me
March 13, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Is it Actually Cringe or is it Cringe Because I Made it?
A memoir by me
A memoir by me
Another day another rejection on querytracker
February 18, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Another day another rejection on querytracker
When your response to being asked to cut some material at work is so funny you have to send it to your brother because you’re laughing too hard
February 14, 2025 at 10:16 AM
When your response to being asked to cut some material at work is so funny you have to send it to your brother because you’re laughing too hard
After 10 years of solid blue hair I’m finally switching shit up
February 9, 2025 at 3:44 AM
After 10 years of solid blue hair I’m finally switching shit up
I don’t care about football but I’m an Eminem fan so I’m taking it as a personal offense that the Lions lost
January 19, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I don’t care about football but I’m an Eminem fan so I’m taking it as a personal offense that the Lions lost
Reposted by KDP
Roses are red 🌹
Violets are blue 🪻
Violets are blue 🪻
January 7, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Roses are red 🌹
Violets are blue 🪻
Violets are blue 🪻
The only reason I keep playing video games even tho I suck is because sometimes I do shit like this
#halo #halogameplay
#halo #halogameplay
December 25, 2024 at 12:45 AM
The only reason I keep playing video games even tho I suck is because sometimes I do shit like this
#halo #halogameplay
#halo #halogameplay
Was in the bathroom at Buffalo Wild Wings and as I’m washing my hands the opening to “Rollin” by Limp Bizkit started playing
Legit thought I was being punked
Legit thought I was being punked
December 21, 2024 at 2:40 AM
Was in the bathroom at Buffalo Wild Wings and as I’m washing my hands the opening to “Rollin” by Limp Bizkit started playing
Legit thought I was being punked
Legit thought I was being punked
Time to hangout with my friends! *turns on podcast*
December 20, 2024 at 2:26 AM
Time to hangout with my friends! *turns on podcast*
Reposted by KDP
is die hard a christmas movie, is a hot dog a sandwich, should i kill myself in front of you to purposefully cause lifelong trauma
December 15, 2024 at 7:39 PM
is die hard a christmas movie, is a hot dog a sandwich, should i kill myself in front of you to purposefully cause lifelong trauma