I Has Wisdom
@ihaswisdom.bsky.social
Great words of wisdom just waiting to be shared with the world. #humor #wisdom
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.
-- Mark Twain
-- Mark Twain
February 7, 2026 at 7:50 PM
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.
-- Mark Twain
-- Mark Twain
I've got a joke about vegetables for you... but it's a bit corny.
February 7, 2026 at 5:10 PM
I've got a joke about vegetables for you... but it's a bit corny.
There is a fly on your nose.
February 7, 2026 at 1:40 PM
There is a fly on your nose.
"I'm sorry." "Hi sorry, I'm dad"
February 7, 2026 at 12:20 PM
"I'm sorry." "Hi sorry, I'm dad"
Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man
soup in a plate?
A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
soup in a plate?
A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
February 7, 2026 at 6:30 AM
Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man
soup in a plate?
A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
soup in a plate?
A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
Why did the miner get fired from his job? He took it for granite...
February 7, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Why did the miner get fired from his job? He took it for granite...
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
February 6, 2026 at 8:40 PM
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Why was the strawberry sad? Its parents were in a jam.
February 6, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Why was the strawberry sad? Its parents were in a jam.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
February 6, 2026 at 3:30 PM
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
February 6, 2026 at 2:50 PM
If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
They're really good at it.
They're really good at it.
February 6, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?
They're really good at it.
They're really good at it.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
February 6, 2026 at 1:20 PM
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.
February 6, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.
What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.
February 6, 2026 at 8:50 AM
What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.
My dentist is the best, he even has a little plaque!
February 6, 2026 at 2:20 AM
My dentist is the best, he even has a little plaque!
You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your
brakes are defective.
brakes are defective.
February 6, 2026 at 2:10 AM
You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your
brakes are defective.
brakes are defective.
Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job?
A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
February 5, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job?
A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
February 5, 2026 at 4:30 PM
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño face.
February 5, 2026 at 9:50 AM
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño face.
My dentist is the best, he even has a little plaque!
February 5, 2026 at 8:30 AM
My dentist is the best, he even has a little plaque!
Q: Minnesotans ask, "Why aren't there more pharmacists from Alabama?"
A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.
A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.
February 5, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Q: Minnesotans ask, "Why aren't there more pharmacists from Alabama?"
A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.
A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
February 5, 2026 at 1:10 AM
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
February 4, 2026 at 11:30 PM
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
February 4, 2026 at 10:40 PM
What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
February 4, 2026 at 8:50 AM
Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.