i’m really trying to figure out what specifically about this comeback is making me feel this way when it’d never gotten this bad in previous eras but like, i legit end up feeling sick. this would’ve gone very differently if i hadn’t fucked everything up

i can’t even begin to imagine how this feels for you all. but still, every reminder hurts a little differently

the thought of being a disappointment especially to him is too much to bear i cannot stop thinking about this

on the 0.009% chance that my life gets better and i find resources AND i’m given visa approval (even thinking about all of this is tasking enough) in the future, even if there’s a tour be it group or solo, it’s not going to be the same. i’ll have missed the special one either way

some ppl are living unbelievable lives

yo! they called me after this lmfao. wifi finally fixed (cost a lot and it’s not even our fault 🙂) but there’s still a huge problem with the tv box sigh why do we have to pay for this shit when the rain caused the damage

thanks, i appreciate it. posting here helps me process in a way

AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T FIXED MY WIFI?

correction:oomf secured a fourth ticket. like?

as a queer person in an increasingly and disgustingly homophobic country, i was already out-of-the-system enough. there were ways i could've fend for myself in that system, yet i failed. how can i ever take that as a "blessing",learn lessons from it or whatever. the only lesson is that i should d ie

the system doesn't wait for you, instead the system gets tougher and tougher the more you remain out of it. when i say it's too late, it really is too late

because we can't afford fuck ups in the asylum where i was raised. there's an order to life in the asylum where i was raised and i misstepped. there's no experimenting allowed. you're out of the system if you failed to follow through.