Sean Paul Sartre
@imonlyhuman.bsky.social
It was like that when I got here
I burned one calorie today
December 26, 2025 at 9:51 PM
I burned one calorie today
turning into a manosphere
December 25, 2025 at 9:29 PM
turning into a manosphere
Does it count as a threesome if I'm thinking about someone else during
December 11, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Does it count as a threesome if I'm thinking about someone else during
Feeding salad to the trees
December 6, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Feeding salad to the trees
Nobody would trust a skinny Santa
December 4, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Nobody would trust a skinny Santa
Do we think hedgehogs suck their own dicks when they curl up in that little ball
November 22, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Do we think hedgehogs suck their own dicks when they curl up in that little ball
Reposted by Sean Paul Sartre
Ice cream truck funerals apparently produce the most horror movie ass sound you can hear in real life
June 24, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Ice cream truck funerals apparently produce the most horror movie ass sound you can hear in real life
Lights camera cut
November 15, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Lights camera cut
Scarf is short for 'scarface'
November 13, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Scarf is short for 'scarface'
Telling old people that I'm their son and they have dementia so they put me in their will
November 9, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Telling old people that I'm their son and they have dementia so they put me in their will
The good news is that there's no bad news. The bad news however, is that there's no good news.
October 29, 2025 at 6:44 AM
The good news is that there's no bad news. The bad news however, is that there's no good news.
Best friend material
October 16, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Best friend material
Todd is short for Toddler
October 5, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Todd is short for Toddler
Crufts for slugs
September 29, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Crufts for slugs
I think my cat is trying to communicate with me. He wrote his name on the carpet in poop scoots.
September 27, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I think my cat is trying to communicate with me. He wrote his name on the carpet in poop scoots.
We should have woman years as a measurement of relative aging the same way we have dog years
September 26, 2025 at 5:22 AM
We should have woman years as a measurement of relative aging the same way we have dog years
You've got to love what you do. That's the whole problem.
September 21, 2025 at 10:18 AM
You've got to love what you do. That's the whole problem.
He was too good for this world. But not quite good enough for the other one.
September 9, 2025 at 1:54 PM
He was too good for this world. But not quite good enough for the other one.
You know it's on when you're watching a movie and the daughter gets kidnapped. Not so much the son, cos really if your son can't fight off kidnappers then you've failed as a parent.
August 26, 2025 at 6:59 PM
You know it's on when you're watching a movie and the daughter gets kidnapped. Not so much the son, cos really if your son can't fight off kidnappers then you've failed as a parent.
My learning style is that you have to tell me something five times and I still won't get it
August 20, 2025 at 1:18 PM
My learning style is that you have to tell me something five times and I still won't get it
Doing the Bobby Baccalieri Baked Ziti but with my exes hair stuck in the plughole. She's not even dead she just left me.
August 19, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Doing the Bobby Baccalieri Baked Ziti but with my exes hair stuck in the plughole. She's not even dead she just left me.
Took a piss so thick it blocked the toilet :)
August 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Took a piss so thick it blocked the toilet :)
'you never think it's going to happen to you' yes I do
August 7, 2025 at 8:27 PM
'you never think it's going to happen to you' yes I do
Why's it only daddy longlegs and fruitflies that want to come in my house and not butterflies
August 6, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Why's it only daddy longlegs and fruitflies that want to come in my house and not butterflies
How can you tell me you don't see race? They are a different colour mate you need your eyes tested
August 5, 2025 at 2:54 PM
How can you tell me you don't see race? They are a different colour mate you need your eyes tested