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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 18m

For context:

My wife left her old job, and we were on her insurance. That insurance runs until the 31st. I'm on a titered med that needs a refill. They've realized that they can use prior auths and appeals to legally run out the clock on me. This forces me off my titered med.

Fuckers.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 1h

American health insurance is straight up sociopathic. Period.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 2h

That's a mood.

Reposted by ⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡

Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC (Friday only!) @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 6h

On the off-chance this isn't bait:

The issue is your definition of lesbian. It has never just meant Women Loving Women. Look at the legacy of butches, of daddy culture, of masculine gender expression among dykes. It is a rejection of patriarchal gender norms and romantic expectations, not just WLW.

What is a he/him lesbian? / want to be supportive of people's identities, but| eel like this is taking a word with a specific meaning women loving women) and generalizingit beyond practical function.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 7h

Congratulations, Mia!!

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

Yeah, that's my problem--if romance is a spectrum, I'm very high on it. It's super super important to me.

So yeah. It's... not especially freeing to me.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

Yeah, I can't imagine how or what I'd do if I was single, tbh.

⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

I find a lot of that too.

⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

My problem is that social connection and belonging are essential to who I am, so that feeling of not belonging is really difficult for me.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

I don't know what the point of this ramble is.

But I kinda wish I wasn't demisexual.

And that sucks.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

Like I have friends, mutuals, on here who are sapphic authors with work that is celebrated by so many people, and which is clearly awesome, and which I haven't read.

Cuz I know there's sex in there. And good on them for having it!

But it's also just not made for people like me.

And that's hard.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

There are a few books I love SO MUCH, like the Tea & Treason books, because they're about lesbian LOVE, and don't center sex or bodies in the way lesbian literature mostly does... but they're the exception, not the rule.

I... mostly avoid lesbian literature.

Because the sex means I don't belong.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

And so much about lesbian culture is the celebration of open desire for feminine bodies by those with feminine bodies. The normalization of desire. It such a thing that it's central to almost every part of lesbian culture and literature.

And I don't get to have those experiences.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 8h

*Sigh*

I talk about being demi more because being on the asexual spectrum frequently leaves me feeling like I'm a broken person. I keep trying to find ways to make peace with the fact that I will never experience sapphic longing or yearning the way other lesbians talk about it.

⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

I was... shocked at how different it felt to love a woman *as a woman*. It was just... deeply right, in a way I still struggle to describe.

I don't know. I talk about being demi much more than being lesbian because, I dunno, I struggle with that intersection. Like I'm not quite right, as a lesbian.

Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC (Friday only!) @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 9h

Genuinely, being a lesbian is as fundamental to my identity as being trans

Frankly, I identify with it as my gender more than I do Girl most days

Being a big ol lesbo has made my life richer, happier, fuller and better in countless beautiful ways and I wouldn't trade it for anything

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

I mean, learning that I was demi was absolutely a key that unlocked a huge amount of self-knowledge for me. 100%.

And at the same time, it leaves me feeling on the outside of lesbian spaces, like I only half-belong. It's hard. I really struggle with the sense that my demi-ness makes me broken.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

Very much same.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

Even if I don't talk about it very much, discovering that I'm a lesbian is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love it more than words can say.

Even if I feel self-conscious about claiming that space for myself.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

I mean, I'm all partnered up and attraction is... well, complicated for me. I know the lesbian community welcomes trans gals and ace-spec gals, but as much as I *adore* the romance and love of being lesbian, it's a little hard to relate to the thirst and desire part of it, just because, yanno...

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 9h

I was... shocked at how different it felt to love a woman *as a woman*. It was just... deeply right, in a way I still struggle to describe.

I don't know. I talk about being demi much more than being lesbian because, I dunno, I struggle with that intersection. Like I'm not quite right, as a lesbian.

Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC (Friday only!) @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 9h

Genuinely, being a lesbian is as fundamental to my identity as being trans

Frankly, I identify with it as my gender more than I do Girl most days

Being a big ol lesbo has made my life richer, happier, fuller and better in countless beautiful ways and I wouldn't trade it for anything

Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC (Friday only!) @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 9h

Oh hey it is International Lesbian Day

I am an International Lesbian, please see attached photographic evidence

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 10h

I know Solarpunk is about "kindness is resistance"

but

"We stole the sun from the sky to power the machines of our invention, to spite the gods that have abandoned us, and when they finally come back... *we will be ready*"

Goes INCREDIBLY hard.

www.tiktok.com/@yellowcake3...

solarpunk #blender#animation

TikTok video by Yellowcake3d

www.tiktok.com

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 11h

Yeah, I hear that same stuff and I think of all the folks who DID know and couldn't do a thing anyway.

Anyway, 🫂

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 11h

Fingers crossed. I've always struggled in peer review.

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 11h

It was.... I know I've described things before bit it's like always being desperately homesick, no matter how safe and loved you are. Like you wished you could go back to where you belonged, even though you have no idea where that is.

Is it a "grass is always greener on my side" situation for once?

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 11h

I've got a book out for peer review, with the hopes that it'll see publication as more than just a university library-filler!

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⚡🧟‍♀️ MAD DOCTOR IMPOSSIBLE!! 🧟‍♀️⚡ @impossiblephd.bsky.social · 12h

Yeah. 🫂🫂🫂

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