Inigo Momtoya
@inigomomtoya.bsky.social
Science, nature, culinary experimentation, lifelong learner, casual observer of humanity. Also dad jokes.
On today’s episode of “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?”
My 5th Grader vs Cosplay Government Barbie.
In a stunning upset, the 5th Grader outshines the government official in the Constitutional Knowledge category because here in Wokeland they teach The Constitution in *fifth grade*
My 5th Grader vs Cosplay Government Barbie.
In a stunning upset, the 5th Grader outshines the government official in the Constitutional Knowledge category because here in Wokeland they teach The Constitution in *fifth grade*
HASSAN: What is habeas corpus?
NOEM: Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country
HASSAN: That's incorrect
NOEM: Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country
HASSAN: That's incorrect
May 20, 2025 at 3:08 PM
On today’s episode of “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?”
My 5th Grader vs Cosplay Government Barbie.
In a stunning upset, the 5th Grader outshines the government official in the Constitutional Knowledge category because here in Wokeland they teach The Constitution in *fifth grade*
My 5th Grader vs Cosplay Government Barbie.
In a stunning upset, the 5th Grader outshines the government official in the Constitutional Knowledge category because here in Wokeland they teach The Constitution in *fifth grade*
“My dearest Martha, as the staff was in utter disarray, today I found myself traversing to the local mercantile. Presently in need of comestibles and sundries, I was thusly informed these are now called ‘groceries.’ I shall use this quaint expression to delight all at our forthcoming gatherings…”
May 15, 2025 at 11:30 PM
“My dearest Martha, as the staff was in utter disarray, today I found myself traversing to the local mercantile. Presently in need of comestibles and sundries, I was thusly informed these are now called ‘groceries.’ I shall use this quaint expression to delight all at our forthcoming gatherings…”
I want my kids to be smart, but not smart enough to realize the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy all have the same handwriting
April 19, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I want my kids to be smart, but not smart enough to realize the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy all have the same handwriting
“Wow - I don’t know how you do it all!”
Me “Well I am on my seventh cup of coffee.”
“…second?”
“Sev. en. th”
“…today?”
“Yup”
“…it’s 10:30am…”
Me “Well I am on my seventh cup of coffee.”
“…second?”
“Sev. en. th”
“…today?”
“Yup”
“…it’s 10:30am…”
March 26, 2025 at 6:05 PM
“Wow - I don’t know how you do it all!”
Me “Well I am on my seventh cup of coffee.”
“…second?”
“Sev. en. th”
“…today?”
“Yup”
“…it’s 10:30am…”
Me “Well I am on my seventh cup of coffee.”
“…second?”
“Sev. en. th”
“…today?”
“Yup”
“…it’s 10:30am…”
Make them do it in front of your face 📺 www.senate.gov/legislative/...
U.S. Senate: Floor Proceedings
Floor Activity
www.senate.gov
February 6, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Make them do it in front of your face 📺 www.senate.gov/legislative/...
The same AI that changes ‘fucking’ to ‘ducking’
every
ducking
time?
That’s the AI we’re putting in the government’s secure computers?
Well that’s ducking disturbing
every
ducking
time?
That’s the AI we’re putting in the government’s secure computers?
Well that’s ducking disturbing
February 6, 2025 at 1:21 AM
The same AI that changes ‘fucking’ to ‘ducking’
every
ducking
time?
That’s the AI we’re putting in the government’s secure computers?
Well that’s ducking disturbing
every
ducking
time?
That’s the AI we’re putting in the government’s secure computers?
Well that’s ducking disturbing
How out of touch is this administration?
February 5, 2025 at 4:55 PM
How out of touch is this administration?
Me, January 19th: just wait until he fires up the military industrial complex
Husband: he won’t do that for years, the economy is booming!
He killed our parents with an unchecked pandemic, he won’t think twice about killing our kids in a war zone apnews.com/live/trump-p...
Husband: he won’t do that for years, the economy is booming!
He killed our parents with an unchecked pandemic, he won’t think twice about killing our kids in a war zone apnews.com/live/trump-p...
Live updates: Trump wants US to take ownership of Gaza Strip
Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is in Washington, D.C. to meet with President Donald Trump. Robert F. Kennedy and Tulsi Gabbard's cabinet confirmations advance. Trump's tariffs against China ...
apnews.com
February 5, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Me, January 19th: just wait until he fires up the military industrial complex
Husband: he won’t do that for years, the economy is booming!
He killed our parents with an unchecked pandemic, he won’t think twice about killing our kids in a war zone apnews.com/live/trump-p...
Husband: he won’t do that for years, the economy is booming!
He killed our parents with an unchecked pandemic, he won’t think twice about killing our kids in a war zone apnews.com/live/trump-p...
Stay healthy out there folks 😷
February 4, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Stay healthy out there folks 😷
In case it comes up, here’s the press release Canada issued last December outlining $1.3b for increased border security. Wild - two months ago?? Yup www.canada.ca/en/public-sa...
February 4, 2025 at 6:11 AM
In case it comes up, here’s the press release Canada issued last December outlining $1.3b for increased border security. Wild - two months ago?? Yup www.canada.ca/en/public-sa...
11 year old - “At school, in ‘Anagram Election,’ his name was Lord Damp Nut and his friend was Melon Suk.”
If we can rename major landmarks…?
If we can rename major landmarks…?
January 31, 2025 at 11:45 PM
11 year old - “At school, in ‘Anagram Election,’ his name was Lord Damp Nut and his friend was Melon Suk.”
If we can rename major landmarks…?
If we can rename major landmarks…?
If you know the spoons theory…. 💯
January 31, 2025 at 8:26 PM
If you know the spoons theory…. 💯
Just a reminder: even if discrimination becomes legal, you don’t have to participate in it. I know you won’t. That’s why we’re friends 💕
January 31, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Just a reminder: even if discrimination becomes legal, you don’t have to participate in it. I know you won’t. That’s why we’re friends 💕
Imagine if our first black, female president gutted these agencies and then almost immediately there was one of the deadliest aviation disasters in US history.
I’ve seen more outrage over a tan suit.
I’ve seen more outrage over a tan suit.
January 30, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Imagine if our first black, female president gutted these agencies and then almost immediately there was one of the deadliest aviation disasters in US history.
I’ve seen more outrage over a tan suit.
I’ve seen more outrage over a tan suit.
“How do I make it look like I’m growing my own coffee to ‘own the libs’ instead because I voted for a petulant toddler to run my country?” ~ most searched question in the US on Google today, probably
January 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
“How do I make it look like I’m growing my own coffee to ‘own the libs’ instead because I voted for a petulant toddler to run my country?” ~ most searched question in the US on Google today, probably
Witnessing my teenager explain cassette tapes vs 8-tracks to the employee at the used book store today.
10/10 parenting moment
10/10 parenting moment
January 24, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Witnessing my teenager explain cassette tapes vs 8-tracks to the employee at the used book store today.
10/10 parenting moment
10/10 parenting moment
For a guy who made $300,000 selling Bibles, he seems pretty triggered by what’s inside.
January 24, 2025 at 4:34 PM
For a guy who made $300,000 selling Bibles, he seems pretty triggered by what’s inside.
There are well known adult milestones, like home ownership, and then secret ones you discover on your own, like reading the Costco magazine and not shitting yourself when you get a letter from the IRS
January 17, 2025 at 7:09 PM
There are well known adult milestones, like home ownership, and then secret ones you discover on your own, like reading the Costco magazine and not shitting yourself when you get a letter from the IRS
Ever notice the people who tell you “you’re over thinking it!” never seem to be people bringing their A Game to thinking?
Something to think about…
Something to think about…
December 9, 2024 at 7:19 PM
Ever notice the people who tell you “you’re over thinking it!” never seem to be people bringing their A Game to thinking?
Something to think about…
Something to think about…
Up before everyone else
Me: Stealth-mode creeping like I’m interviewing for MI6 and showing off my potential B&E spy skills
Husband: smashing through doors like there’s a natural disaster/serial killer outside and it’s his job to save us all
Me: Stealth-mode creeping like I’m interviewing for MI6 and showing off my potential B&E spy skills
Husband: smashing through doors like there’s a natural disaster/serial killer outside and it’s his job to save us all
December 7, 2024 at 9:39 PM
Up before everyone else
Me: Stealth-mode creeping like I’m interviewing for MI6 and showing off my potential B&E spy skills
Husband: smashing through doors like there’s a natural disaster/serial killer outside and it’s his job to save us all
Me: Stealth-mode creeping like I’m interviewing for MI6 and showing off my potential B&E spy skills
Husband: smashing through doors like there’s a natural disaster/serial killer outside and it’s his job to save us all
Reposted by Inigo Momtoya
Maybe you already have my books! Maybe you want something a bit more… unusual? How about a 1/12 scale *miniature* copy of my three novels? (Handmade by me, if that isn’t clear.) e.givesmart.com/events/Frv/i...
December 3, 2024 at 8:41 PM
Maybe you already have my books! Maybe you want something a bit more… unusual? How about a 1/12 scale *miniature* copy of my three novels? (Handmade by me, if that isn’t clear.) e.givesmart.com/events/Frv/i...
They’re eating the dogs…
They’re eating the cats…
They’re eating the pigeons right out of the park…
The American Woman’s Cookbook, circa 1954
They’re eating the cats…
They’re eating the pigeons right out of the park…
The American Woman’s Cookbook, circa 1954
December 2, 2024 at 4:12 PM
They’re eating the dogs…
They’re eating the cats…
They’re eating the pigeons right out of the park…
The American Woman’s Cookbook, circa 1954
They’re eating the cats…
They’re eating the pigeons right out of the park…
The American Woman’s Cookbook, circa 1954
11 year old, doing mythology homework: Mom, what’s your favorite mythical creature?
Me: Trickle down economics
Me: Trickle down economics
December 1, 2024 at 4:24 PM
11 year old, doing mythology homework: Mom, what’s your favorite mythical creature?
Me: Trickle down economics
Me: Trickle down economics
National Pie for Breakfast Day falls on the same day as National Plumber’s Appreciation Day?
What are the odds..?
What are the odds..?
November 29, 2024 at 4:57 PM
National Pie for Breakfast Day falls on the same day as National Plumber’s Appreciation Day?
What are the odds..?
What are the odds..?
Bluetooth speaker: do you want this at a volume only heard by dogs, or do you want to have a concert for the whole neighborhood? No middle ground
November 27, 2024 at 8:07 PM
Bluetooth speaker: do you want this at a volume only heard by dogs, or do you want to have a concert for the whole neighborhood? No middle ground