I'm also planning on not getting involved much in drama anymore as, well, I clearly can't handle it. I will form better plans later so for now, see you all in a month. Feel free to share this thread around as you feel you need to as well. Thanks!
-Ivy :3

Again, please don't take any of what I said last night personally if you can. The moment I got a grip of myself again, I regretted literally everything I said. This happened last year too and nearly lost my irl friends over it and now well, you all saw it for yourselves

I already am back in group therapy and will have my first session soon. It helped last time so I'm confident it will work again. And I do want to get better cause this problem sucks. I don't want to hurt myself or others but I am and I just want it fixed

My version of ideation is nasty and I become this vindictive asshole that I never am other wise. I do experience something akin to losing control and do have to break out of it so to speak. I did break out of it enough to tell people who could help but basically fell back in shortly after.