It's so sharp it feels like dragging a shard of glass across my eye.

It makes me want to vomit.

It's gotten harder and harder to sit there and power through and say maybe I can do it this time. Because every time I do it, it never works. It doesn't happen and at this point I don't think it'll ever happen. I think I'm destined to be like this. I think I'm becoming who I really am.

I want to leave, I just want to run away. I hate everything I've become. I hate everything I'm not. I'll never be someone that matters enough to do anything correctly. What right do I have to live?

Of course... I'm just saying if it ever borders into gross head-canon territory its distressing.

I just never wanna border on the line of too unbelievable. I like having the source material support what I think. I also just like the source material too much to deviate. Why would I say a character is one way when they aren't? It's like setting yourself up for failure.

So yeah, emile and six can have that as a treat.

Oh obviously harmless shit like this is whatever to me.. like yeah I'm sure emile and six butt heads cause.. well they love their helmets and they both love getting down and dirty (Headhunting boogeyman and CQC expert that can't stop playing with his massive fucking knife)

But I care about what I believe, and if it all ends up being headcanon I think I'd rather reject it altogether. I should really read those halo books man... feel like it would open my third eye to something. But for now I just rewatch the reach cutscenes and go over everything anyone says.

And then I always stop and I think, am I reading too far? Have these just become headcanons? I start wanting to cry, because that is the most damning thing. I personally don't care that people have headcanons, I don't care that they choose to willingly make things up that aren't true.

This is... I suppose extremely weird. Though I don't really think it is, I just think its a burden of mine I'd have to carry, to remember people who've died in my lifetime.

If you've got nothing else, keep it for your personal enjoyment. Nothing really more.

I'd get shots of them but I deleted MCC and forgot to redownload.