the new Apple update is awesome. I definitely wanted everything to be slightly worse

i guess it’s just “december” now. as if that’s normal

I came to a stand up show in Mexico, one of the comedians was called Israel but his handle was @NotTheCountry 😭 (in Spanish it was NoSoyElPais)

Every time I have more than 3 dishes on the sink I pass by and say “omg that’s still water”… shoutout to TikTok brain rot I suppose

Wait if Twitter is now X, can’t BlueSky just change its name back to Twitter? Especially since X desperately wants to get rid of the Twitter name

McAllister’s Deli is a money laundering scheme. What do you mean my sandwich’s bread were simple toasted pieces of white bread?!

This is literally my thought process every time I’m about to join my weekly one one one with my supervisor

Finally gave in and made this account! Liking the vibes so far :~)