Father Figure
@jambandswiftie.swifties.social
You want a fight?
You found it.
I got the place surrounded.
You'll be sleeping with the fishes
before you know you're drowning.
(And if you bother to read this, formerly The Riffington Post.)
You found it.
I got the place surrounded.
You'll be sleeping with the fishes
before you know you're drowning.
(And if you bother to read this, formerly The Riffington Post.)
I just heard all my ancestors yell “SACKED” from the other side.
December 7, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I just heard all my ancestors yell “SACKED” from the other side.
Happiest of Birthdays to my favorite Falcon, @tmsparks.bsky.social! I hope that you don’t find yourself becoming less Tall due to osteoporosis in the coming years as you descend the hill.
Anyway, have a great time tonight celebrating this milestone. I’m sending an extra hug with Katie to give you.
Anyway, have a great time tonight celebrating this milestone. I’m sending an extra hug with Katie to give you.
December 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Happiest of Birthdays to my favorite Falcon, @tmsparks.bsky.social! I hope that you don’t find yourself becoming less Tall due to osteoporosis in the coming years as you descend the hill.
Anyway, have a great time tonight celebrating this milestone. I’m sending an extra hug with Katie to give you.
Anyway, have a great time tonight celebrating this milestone. I’m sending an extra hug with Katie to give you.
The day I met Jesse, I kinda blew him off because I wasn't having the best day. Before you know it, the huge foreheaded fuck weasled his way deep into my life and heart. He is one of four people I speak to almost daily and without fail. It's his birthday today. I give you all permission to give hell
December 5, 2025 at 3:13 PM
The day I met Jesse, I kinda blew him off because I wasn't having the best day. Before you know it, the huge foreheaded fuck weasled his way deep into my life and heart. He is one of four people I speak to almost daily and without fail. It's his birthday today. I give you all permission to give hell
I was today years old when I learned what the song relaxed by Frankie goes to Hollywood is actually about.
I’m in timeout until further notice
I’m in timeout until further notice
December 5, 2025 at 4:20 AM
I was today years old when I learned what the song relaxed by Frankie goes to Hollywood is actually about.
I’m in timeout until further notice
I’m in timeout until further notice
Big News today, guys. Taylor Swift is getting married on June 13th. Mark your calendars!
December 4, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Big News today, guys. Taylor Swift is getting married on June 13th. Mark your calendars!
The look on Andy's face when he says "Imagine that." The best. www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8oR...
Sushi Glory Hole - SNL Digital Short
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
www.youtube.com
December 3, 2025 at 10:25 PM
The look on Andy's face when he says "Imagine that." The best. www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8oR...
"Jews make it so much easier on the grieving than the goyim do."
"Yeah, we totally rock."
"Yeah, we totally rock."
December 3, 2025 at 9:38 PM
"Jews make it so much easier on the grieving than the goyim do."
"Yeah, we totally rock."
"Yeah, we totally rock."
in a completely unsurprising turn of events, my entire year in rewind is Taylor Swift and Jerry Fuckin Garcia
December 3, 2025 at 4:53 PM
in a completely unsurprising turn of events, my entire year in rewind is Taylor Swift and Jerry Fuckin Garcia
for talking about something so somber, there sure have been a lot of laughs so far this morning
December 3, 2025 at 3:52 PM
for talking about something so somber, there sure have been a lot of laughs so far this morning
marc maron hocking mandms now
December 3, 2025 at 3:12 PM
marc maron hocking mandms now
sushi glory hole...imagine that
December 3, 2025 at 3:10 PM
sushi glory hole...imagine that
wrong move, bro
December 3, 2025 at 2:08 PM
wrong move, bro
if you do go to vegas and want to do something different, I absolutely and highly recommend going out to Valley of Fire for an afternoon. incredibly picturesque, ancient indigenous carvings all throughout, wildlife (mountain goats!). it's really cool stuff, if you're into that sort of thing.
December 2, 2025 at 9:00 PM
if you do go to vegas and want to do something different, I absolutely and highly recommend going out to Valley of Fire for an afternoon. incredibly picturesque, ancient indigenous carvings all throughout, wildlife (mountain goats!). it's really cool stuff, if you're into that sort of thing.
It's Curt Day! Happy Birthday, @icculus.bsky.social!
December 2, 2025 at 5:54 PM
It's Curt Day! Happy Birthday, @icculus.bsky.social!
what the fuck is everyone talking about sphere for did something get announced
December 2, 2025 at 4:37 PM
what the fuck is everyone talking about sphere for did something get announced
as much as I despise Sebastian Maniscalco, my brother just sent me a CHICAGO BEARS HYPE VIDEO featuring this MAGA scumbag, and I am not gonna lie, I got a little teary eyed
December 1, 2025 at 10:25 PM
as much as I despise Sebastian Maniscalco, my brother just sent me a CHICAGO BEARS HYPE VIDEO featuring this MAGA scumbag, and I am not gonna lie, I got a little teary eyed
December 1, 2025 at 2:56 PM
December 1, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Reposted by Father Figure
Hey, @profanity.accountant. I’m trying to get in as may cuss words as possible before 2025 is over. Can I have my current stats, please?
November 30, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Hey, @profanity.accountant. I’m trying to get in as may cuss words as possible before 2025 is over. Can I have my current stats, please?
I’ve been out and about visiting a few retail places, and I see that the new trend is to cover one’s entire vehicle in Christmas lights because that’s not at all distracting to other people on the road
November 29, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I’ve been out and about visiting a few retail places, and I see that the new trend is to cover one’s entire vehicle in Christmas lights because that’s not at all distracting to other people on the road
It wasn’t, icyww
There is nothing better in the world than a Terry’s Orange Chocolate. Except being fully hydrated for the first time in years. But to have them both on the same day? And free Beacon Jams? Is this my final day?
November 29, 2025 at 5:29 PM
It wasn’t, icyww
There is nothing better in the world than a Terry’s Orange Chocolate. Except being fully hydrated for the first time in years. But to have them both on the same day? And free Beacon Jams? Is this my final day?
November 29, 2025 at 2:41 AM
There is nothing better in the world than a Terry’s Orange Chocolate. Except being fully hydrated for the first time in years. But to have them both on the same day? And free Beacon Jams? Is this my final day?
You guys couldn’t shut the fuck up in there for a silence pause?
Shame on you all. For real.
I may ask you if you would during the beacon jams divided sky and if you say yes, I may not be friends with you ever again
Shame on you all. For real.
I may ask you if you would during the beacon jams divided sky and if you say yes, I may not be friends with you ever again
November 29, 2025 at 2:25 AM
You guys couldn’t shut the fuck up in there for a silence pause?
Shame on you all. For real.
I may ask you if you would during the beacon jams divided sky and if you say yes, I may not be friends with you ever again
Shame on you all. For real.
I may ask you if you would during the beacon jams divided sky and if you say yes, I may not be friends with you ever again
Shit. He just legitimated the crazy broads.
November 29, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Shit. He just legitimated the crazy broads.