At the height of punk I met a friend on the Tube who had dyed his hair green and was with a girl in a tattered leather jacket and a tartan miniskirt. “Howja know Bernie?” she asked. “I was at school with him.” “So are you a Caflick then? I went to a Caflick school - Ver Sacrid ‘eart Woldingham.”

Now he’s on to Joan of Arc:

‘A little Catholic girl who's fallen in love
A face on a page, a gift from above… ‘ 🎶

We walloped it down. Following the recommendation of a man in one of the veg. shops in Brixton Market, I have taken to drinking fresh lime juice with water. Delicious.

Snorkers from Sainsbury’s plus tray baked veg with an oil + lemon juice + roasted garlic + chopped parsley dressing.

Ridiculously bossy of them.

That’s a cracker.

👍.

Blimey!

Denis Norden was once walking through Berwick St market and passed a stallholder who was polishing an apple and singing “Don’t cry for me, Argent - f**king - tina.”

And it’s everywhere ☹️.

Didn’t notice the handholds. Should have gone to Specsavers.

NotswoldsnotStoneHenge?

His flustered Floor Manager! Superb.

👏👏👏

The first time I have ever seen Mike Ratledge’s eyes. He was almost always photographed wearing shades.

✌️

Ivor Hitchens? See you there!