My roommate just flew back home to San Diego from Texas and after I dropped him off I went to a grocery store and had to go through more security than he did in order to get a new tube of toothpaste.

how dare you!... not include Ellen Albertini Dow

You sound like Miguel

Then Terry comes over and starts to talk about her due date-and you and Miguel tell her that neither of you care-which brings you both back into each other’s good graces.

Both you and MIguel can’t wait until Terry has that damn kid already-because she always microwaves fish in the break room.

Then you need to go on Google Translate to figure out what “Cheenga too moddray” means. Then you tell Miguel that this isn’t fair, and that you are not a racist-but then MIguel starts yelling at you about listening to Joe Rogan without headphones.

Then Miguel says that is the stupidest thing he has ever seen, and you reply that, “well you should probably expand your horizons and see more things.”

Then Miguel tells you to prove it. And you tell him that you don’t know how to satisfy that answer-and he says that you need to prove that you are not a racist-so then you decide that if you count the papers in Spanish, it will prove that you are aren’t a racist.

Then you finally make it back to your desk and Miguel is there-and Miguel needs to go over the numbers from last quarter, but you tell Miguel that you can’t because you need to count-and then Miguel accuses you of always ignoring him because he is Mexican-and you tell him that this is not true.

And by the time you are back to your desk, it might be another four to five minutes. This is of course because Sam want to complain about Terry not putting things back-but Terry does have an excuse-she’s pregnant, so why should we be expecting her to lift things.

Which of course, might take up to seven minutes. If your desk is already clear, you need to go to the supply closet. That is where the paper is. But then you find that Terry has used all of the paper, so you have to go to the other supply closet on the second floor.

I really don’t understand why this doesn’t make sense. You need to start by going to get your coffee, and Derrick sometimes take four minutes to pour it. Then you need to go on Teams and set your status to “In a Meeting.” Then you need to clear off your desk.

If I want to do it in English and Spanish, yes

If religious institutions have proven unable to prevent traditional clergy from raping kids, perhaps C++hrist can?

The bro-sphere is just mad that they cannot complain that Elphaba and Glinda are being played by women and of course they can't contrive some kind of grievance over Elphaba not being played white.

At least they got an actor roughly as tall as an actual goat to play one. #morepartsforlivestock

If you are doing something for the sake of personal expression that gives the impression that it might otherwise adversely impact regular daily life activities, then you are not immune to questions. If Cynthia had something like a lazy eye and Dax mocked her for that, that would be something else

Not crossed, now I am curious. We got Edward Scissorhands over here acting annoyed about a question she gets all the time. I will phrase it in a more direct way: If you're going to cosplay Freddy Krueger, how do you keep your taint from getting shredded?

If this isn't a joke, it's amazing from an efficiency standpoint. Instead of a stack of papers that might have a miscount and be slightly out of sorts, and what would otherwise take about 10 minutes for someone to do with the risk that the pages might get dogeared, this was quick and accurate