Chapter 3: HSP - Wait, is THIS the real explanation?

Chapter 4: Sensory processing disorder - Oh, wait... no, THIS is the real one!

Chapter 5: Autism - LOL never mind 😆

That said... not APPEARING impaired doesn't mean I'm not. It just means that I do a very good job of HIDING it.

(Though I think this is more likely to apply to adults because children tend to have a harder time regulating their emotions simply because they haven't developed as many coping strategies as adults yet.)

These types of behaviors can make us appear at fault or weak for not being able to manage our emotions... but when autistic meltdowns happen, they're the direct result of unmet needs related to autistic brain wiring... and, again... almost never within our control.

But outwardly, I probably just look impatient, frustrated, irritated, irrational, and when I'm able to extract myself from the situation... like I'm skirting my responsibilities. What you wouldn't see is my overwhelming panic and internal chaos.

For me, my internal experience usually includes hyperventilation, heart palpitations, holding back a hearty cry, a much lower tolerance for sensory inputs, not being able to think about anything but the trigger... and usually a desperate and frantic need to remove it.

They are NOT a manipulation tactic.

They are NOT attention seeking.

And they are almost NEVER within a person's control.

Ok, so how do they look?

When these triggers happen, the autistic person will often have a fight, flight, or freeze response, which causes some type of visible behavioral reaction.

Now, I want to stress that these behavioral reactions are the result of EXTREME and OVERWHELMING distress...

First... they're usually the result of an autistic person not getting their needs met. Examples of this are... the result of unexpected plan changes... something not going the way we needed it to go... sensory overload... but there are so many others.

But adults can, and do, have meltdowns too... they just look different.

Before I get into how adult autistic meltdowns can look... especially when we've gotten really good at internalizing them so we don't look "crazy"... I want to talk about when and why they happen.