Jennifer Haubrich
@jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
Humor writer/nagging wife/exasperated mother/all-around joy to be with
Free Substack: https://tinyurl.com/Humor-in-the-Middle
Free Substack: https://tinyurl.com/Humor-in-the-Middle
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
Denial: Movie night? Sure. It’s Friday. I’m worn out and ready to give up on this week, so that sounds perfect. I’m so glad we don’t have plans to DO something.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/the...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/the...
The 5 Stages of Trying to Watch a Movie as a Family
It’s a lot like grief, but with popcorn
medium.com
June 20, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Denial: Movie night? Sure. It’s Friday. I’m worn out and ready to give up on this week, so that sounds perfect. I’m so glad we don’t have plans to DO something.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/the...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/the...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
While much of a successful teacher-parent conference hinges on you listening to what the teacher says and nodding sincerely, you could easily screw it up by opening your mouth.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wha...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wha...
What Not to Say at Your Next Parent-Teacher Conference
Advice for the borderline competent
medium.com
June 25, 2025 at 1:22 PM
While much of a successful teacher-parent conference hinges on you listening to what the teacher says and nodding sincerely, you could easily screw it up by opening your mouth.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wha...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wha...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
“Oh look, it’s time for bed. We had such a nice day. I’m tired. Aren’t you?”
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/a-h...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/a-h...
A Hostage Negotiator Critiques What You Say to Your Child at Bedtime
You gotta remember, you’re the good cop
medium.com
July 7, 2025 at 5:57 PM
“Oh look, it’s time for bed. We had such a nice day. I’m tired. Aren’t you?”
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/a-h...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/a-h...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
But what parents need are holidays that give more than they take, like these ten holidays that are not at all made up because they exist on the internet.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/10-...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/10-...
10 Little-Known Holidays Ideal for Deliriously Exhausted Parents
And how to celebrate each one
medium.com
August 9, 2025 at 2:37 PM
But what parents need are holidays that give more than they take, like these ten holidays that are not at all made up because they exist on the internet.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/10-...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/10-...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
Parent: We’re in a bit of a pickle. Since 1971, 18-year-olds have been considered legal adults. But now we know that the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25. We need to find somewhere they can go until then.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
How I Imagine the 21st Century College Experience Was Invented
In a single conversation
medium.com
September 22, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Parent: We’re in a bit of a pickle. Since 1971, 18-year-olds have been considered legal adults. But now we know that the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25. We need to find somewhere they can go until then.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
Disposing of your young child’s “art” requires a level head, strategy, and ruthless cunning. Otherwise, you’re going to be buried alive in drawings of people whose arms and legs both come right out of their heads.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/dis...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/dis...
Disposing of Your Child’s Preschool “Art” So It Doesn’t Crush You to Death
In six simple, devious steps
medium.com
May 30, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Disposing of your young child’s “art” requires a level head, strategy, and ruthless cunning. Otherwise, you’re going to be buried alive in drawings of people whose arms and legs both come right out of their heads.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/dis...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/dis...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
How will you ever know if your son or daughter is a musical prodigy if you don’t put an instrument in their hands?!
But what instrument should it be?
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
But what instrument should it be?
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
How to Choose Your Middle Schooler’s Instrument
Considering your ears, wallet, and sanity
medium.com
May 7, 2025 at 4:03 PM
How will you ever know if your son or daughter is a musical prodigy if you don’t put an instrument in their hands?!
But what instrument should it be?
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
But what instrument should it be?
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
These are the types of wisdom I'd like to have with my tea. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...
Humor: Rejected tea bag tag quotes
An amusing list of funny potential tea bag tag quotes that will make you chuckle with your Earl Grey.
creators.yahoo.com
May 5, 2025 at 3:55 PM
These are the types of wisdom I'd like to have with my tea. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...
A serious parenting post for a change. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...
How do we learn to let our kids go?
One mom shares the surprising moment she realized the secret to letting go of her daughters—and it’s not what you think.
creators.yahoo.com
April 28, 2025 at 5:51 PM
A serious parenting post for a change. creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/st...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
“My baby loves green beans the best!”
$3.59 — to reimburse you for the two servings of baby food green beans your baby threw in your hair and on the floor this week.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
$3.59 — to reimburse you for the two servings of baby food green beans your baby threw in your hair and on the floor this week.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
How Much You Should Be Paid For Listening to These Parents’ Comments
From $3.59 to $1M
medium.com
April 18, 2025 at 5:19 PM
“My baby loves green beans the best!”
$3.59 — to reimburse you for the two servings of baby food green beans your baby threw in your hair and on the floor this week.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
$3.59 — to reimburse you for the two servings of baby food green beans your baby threw in your hair and on the floor this week.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/how...
This will help you decide. jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/should-you...
Should You Try Swedish Death Cleaning or American Bed Rotting?
Figure out which is right for you.
jenniferhaubrich.substack.com
April 2, 2025 at 3:53 PM
This will help you decide. jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/should-you...
Do you need help scheduling your day? What we all need now is structure -- and more games! jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/the-new-yo...
The New York Times Games Editor Schedules Your Day
Better get puzzling, you have a lot to do!
jenniferhaubrich.substack.com
March 29, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Do you need help scheduling your day? What we all need now is structure -- and more games! jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/the-new-yo...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
Daylight Savings
March 12, 2025 at 3:59 PM
Daylight Savings
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
“We’re sharing this information for your benefit. We’re also sharing it with your girlfriend, employer, and therapist because they all need it to settle a bet.” By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-your-smar...
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-your-smar...
February 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
“We’re sharing this information for your benefit. We’re also sharing it with your girlfriend, employer, and therapist because they all need it to settle a bet.” By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-your-smar...
Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-your-smar...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
In theory, we live in a world where our teens are always only one text away.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wil...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wil...
Will A Teen Daughter Answer These Texts?
Here’s how it’s gonna work…
medium.com
March 4, 2025 at 9:14 PM
In theory, we live in a world where our teens are always only one text away.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wil...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/wil...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
2. If you rub the Diaper Genie at exactly 2 a.m. and make a wish, it will come true.
Only if your wish was to be up feeding a baby and changing a diaper at 2 a.m.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/18-...
Only if your wish was to be up feeding a baby and changing a diaper at 2 a.m.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/18-...
18 Parenting Legends and Superstitions Under Investigation
If you rub the diaper genie at exactly 2 a.m., will your wish be granted?
medium.com
February 17, 2025 at 1:54 PM
2. If you rub the Diaper Genie at exactly 2 a.m. and make a wish, it will come true.
Only if your wish was to be up feeding a baby and changing a diaper at 2 a.m.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/18-...
Only if your wish was to be up feeding a baby and changing a diaper at 2 a.m.
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/18-...
If lately, you feel as if you don't laugh, you will only cry, I have a Substack for that. I'm doing it for both of us.
open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
Citations Issued By The Office Grammar Police
For offensive misuse of the English language
open.substack.com
February 22, 2025 at 2:11 PM
If lately, you feel as if you don't laugh, you will only cry, I have a Substack for that. I'm doing it for both of us.
open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
How We Discovered the Secrets to a Conflict-Free Marriage!
It’s not about compromise, like at all
open.substack.com
February 15, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
"32
It feels like a sleepless night
To wear spit-up-stained t-shirts..."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/tay...
It feels like a sleepless night
To wear spit-up-stained t-shirts..."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/tay...
Taylor Swift’s Greatest Hits: New Mom Edition
These songs are about a different type of heartbreak now
medium.com
February 11, 2025 at 1:30 PM
"32
It feels like a sleepless night
To wear spit-up-stained t-shirts..."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/tay...
It feels like a sleepless night
To wear spit-up-stained t-shirts..."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/tay...
Today's post on Humor in the Middle: jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/were-your-...
February 9, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Today's post on Humor in the Middle: jenniferhaubrich.substack.com/p/were-your-...
Reposted by Jennifer Haubrich
"From the Ethicist for Tired Parents: Research has shown that kids under the age of five can’t tell time or understand a mom’s need to disassociate while scrolling Instagram at night. So put them to bed whenever you need to."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/ans...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/ans...
Answers from the Ethicist for Tired Parents
Parenting is full of morally gray areas when you’re exhausted
medium.com
January 29, 2025 at 1:51 PM
"From the Ethicist for Tired Parents: Research has shown that kids under the age of five can’t tell time or understand a mom’s need to disassociate while scrolling Instagram at night. So put them to bed whenever you need to."
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/ans...
By @jenniferhaubrich.bsky.social
medium.com/frazzled/ans...
This is how companies should be treating their customers! open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
Emails From a Company That Considers Their Customers Like Family
And will do whatever it takes to prove it.
open.substack.com
January 25, 2025 at 2:06 PM
This is how companies should be treating their customers! open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
I started a new humor publication on Substack. You (yes, you!) are invited to check it out.
It's about finding and enjoying the relatable and ridiculous humor found in the middle of it all -- your life and mine.
Welcome to Humor in the Middle open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
It's about finding and enjoying the relatable and ridiculous humor found in the middle of it all -- your life and mine.
Welcome to Humor in the Middle open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
Welcome to Humor in the Middle
Let's get ready to find some more fun
open.substack.com
January 19, 2025 at 10:02 PM
I started a new humor publication on Substack. You (yes, you!) are invited to check it out.
It's about finding and enjoying the relatable and ridiculous humor found in the middle of it all -- your life and mine.
Welcome to Humor in the Middle open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
It's about finding and enjoying the relatable and ridiculous humor found in the middle of it all -- your life and mine.
Welcome to Humor in the Middle open.substack.com/pub/jennifer...
Everyone else is complaining that January sucks because it's cold, everyone's broke or on a diet, and no one wants to go anywhere. Meanwhile, introverts are like," ... Is this heaven?"
January 18, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Everyone else is complaining that January sucks because it's cold, everyone's broke or on a diet, and no one wants to go anywhere. Meanwhile, introverts are like," ... Is this heaven?"