@schumer.senate.gov SUE Donald Trump for libel. He posted a video of you saying things you did not say. He sues everyone, constantly, on the flimsiest of grounds. You have a legitimate libel claim. DO IT.

Requisite comment that Brody’s speech really could have used an intermission.

It’s gonna be weird when there’s a bunch of 80 year old ladies named Hailey.

Beans was chewing his foot like mad, there didn’t seem to be anything there so I figured it was a bug bite. And then I Googled “can I give my dog Benadryl.” Turns out yes! Some math was involved but that lil bastard is OUT. Photos of him with sunglasses on might be on their way.

To the lady running towards me with her dog who yelled “Thank you!” when I crossed the street with my dog…you’re quite welcome but I was just avoiding the house with the rats.

I saw pictures from childhood friend’s family reunion and thought, wow, her Mom looks FANTASTIC. Realized it was her sister. Good goddamn, I am OLD.