It's important to have a favorite spoon. You need a little buddy inside the silverware drawer that warms your heart just a little when you see it in there, still clean and available.

Oh my god. The graphics on the Switch 2 are amazing.

If they made a motion picture about some very sleepy boys, I think I could play the role of one of the boys.

Luke Skywalker is only one letter away from being Luke Skywanker.

Every first Wednesday of the month, the city tests all of the tornado sirens. Coincidentally, every first Wednesday of the month, there are 3.5 seconds where I think we are under direct nuclear attack.

I've fallen into a deep IMDb wormhole and have discovered a movie called "Thursday the 12th", which VERY ODDLY is not a prequel to Friday the 13th. That's wild. That's like making a movie called "Miracle on 33rd Street" that has absolutely nothing to do with "Miracle on 34th Street".

They are really knocking it out of the park with these women-centric, insect-named movies and shows.

Fleabag.
Yellow Jackets.
Ummmm.... Antz.

My favorite video game right now is Google Docs.

Watching some stuff with Amanda Bynes and I truly believe, had life been kinder to her, she could've developed into a Jim Carrey-esque AAA Hollywood movie comedian. Extraordinary levels of goofball talent, especially for her age.

It's important to admit when you're wrong. I'd like to do it right now: you're wrong.

Went to a standup show with a date and whispered “I was also thinking that” after every punchline, right into her ear, to show her how much I understand Comedy.

POLAR EXPRESS
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
PANDA EXPRESS

Name a better trilogy. You can't.

You see someone on the TV, but they can't see you. You see someone on the bus, and they can see you. Is this because buses are bigger than TVs? No. It's actually more complicated than that.