johnny deformed
@johnnydeformed.bsky.social
toni collette's ear doctor.
miss collette call me please
miss collette call me please
Pinned
listening to we didn't start the fire with my alzheimers grandma and trying to convince her there was a space monkey mafia
Monkey’s Night Routine That Makes Every Morning Easy true 🔍
November 24, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Monkey’s Night Routine That Makes Every Morning Easy true 🔍
I respect the worst filmmaker more than I respect the best critic
June 27, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I respect the worst filmmaker more than I respect the best critic
tip of the day: you don't have to smell everything you eat
May 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
tip of the day: you don't have to smell everything you eat
Facebook is leaking even harder into bsky
May 26, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Facebook is leaking even harder into bsky
Every time I get on an escalator, yep
Everyone has one Mitch Hedberg joke stashed in their brain like a squirrel to sustain them whenever they need to feel joy for 30 seconds and mine is “they say the recipe for Sprite is Lemon and Lime but I tried to make it at home, there’s more to it than that”
May 23, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Every time I get on an escalator, yep
Every evening I open one drink and pour it into six glasses so I can enjoy the six drinks I deserve
May 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Every evening I open one drink and pour it into six glasses so I can enjoy the six drinks I deserve
Nathan fielder is like if mr beast was chaotic good instead of lawful evil
May 21, 2025 at 9:14 AM
Nathan fielder is like if mr beast was chaotic good instead of lawful evil
If I had to give each of the Simpsons a canonical ending:
Maggie stays with the Flanders
Bart stays famous
Lisa tours with bleeding gums (doesn't die)
Marge runs off with Ruth Powers
Homer dies of blowfish
Maggie stays with the Flanders
Bart stays famous
Lisa tours with bleeding gums (doesn't die)
Marge runs off with Ruth Powers
Homer dies of blowfish
May 18, 2025 at 10:09 AM
If I had to give each of the Simpsons a canonical ending:
Maggie stays with the Flanders
Bart stays famous
Lisa tours with bleeding gums (doesn't die)
Marge runs off with Ruth Powers
Homer dies of blowfish
Maggie stays with the Flanders
Bart stays famous
Lisa tours with bleeding gums (doesn't die)
Marge runs off with Ruth Powers
Homer dies of blowfish
Stopping in for my second spaghetti meal of the week
May 9, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Stopping in for my second spaghetti meal of the week
Every day I drink a coffee and I spend 20 minutes in the colourful hallway and arrive on earth as a humongus baby
May 1, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Every day I drink a coffee and I spend 20 minutes in the colourful hallway and arrive on earth as a humongus baby
3rd episode homer simsoms tries to kill himself look it up if you don't believe me
April 26, 2025 at 3:16 PM
3rd episode homer simsoms tries to kill himself look it up if you don't believe me
Bender is not black. But he is Mexican
April 26, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Bender is not black. But he is Mexican
Blue prince man... When you find the rocket launcher... Oh boy
April 18, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Blue prince man... When you find the rocket launcher... Oh boy
I was watching a comedian with my wife and she said "I don't think that really happened to him" and I said "don't worry, it's probably just a premise for a humorous story" and I was right
April 10, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I was watching a comedian with my wife and she said "I don't think that really happened to him" and I said "don't worry, it's probably just a premise for a humorous story" and I was right
nintendo: we're bringing old gaming traditions into the modern world
playstation: we respect the old ways, but we're looking to the future
xbox: bideo game
playstation: we respect the old ways, but we're looking to the future
xbox: bideo game
March 28, 2025 at 6:39 AM
nintendo: we're bringing old gaming traditions into the modern world
playstation: we respect the old ways, but we're looking to the future
xbox: bideo game
playstation: we respect the old ways, but we're looking to the future
xbox: bideo game
ima ge ge ge get you drunk so i can buy more shoes
March 26, 2025 at 10:51 PM
ima ge ge ge get you drunk so i can buy more shoes
listening to we didn't start the fire with my alzheimers grandma and trying to convince her there was a space monkey mafia
March 24, 2025 at 5:15 AM
listening to we didn't start the fire with my alzheimers grandma and trying to convince her there was a space monkey mafia
I get most of my work done when my wife looks at cats with amputations on bing ai search for 6 hours each night
March 19, 2025 at 6:02 AM
I get most of my work done when my wife looks at cats with amputations on bing ai search for 6 hours each night
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by autism
February 27, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by autism
gf hissing and growling at herself in mirror reddit
February 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
gf hissing and growling at herself in mirror reddit
Wife, in the other room: what's happening in the movie?
(Main character is looking longingly at a photo clearly of his kids)
Me: idk he misses his friends or something
(Main character is looking longingly at a photo clearly of his kids)
Me: idk he misses his friends or something
February 19, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Wife, in the other room: what's happening in the movie?
(Main character is looking longingly at a photo clearly of his kids)
Me: idk he misses his friends or something
(Main character is looking longingly at a photo clearly of his kids)
Me: idk he misses his friends or something
Making planes terrifying is an ingenious way to slow climate change
February 18, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Making planes terrifying is an ingenious way to slow climate change
[lou reed voice] severance severance
February 16, 2025 at 8:42 AM
[lou reed voice] severance severance
It was so brave of Kendrick to do something everyone liked and agreed with
February 10, 2025 at 7:51 PM
It was so brave of Kendrick to do something everyone liked and agreed with