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look, the rest of the united states just has to outrun trump to the county line. then he'll be forced to stop and he'll shake his fist and stomp on his hat and the narrator will be like 'well, looks like that ol' USA is slipperier than a polecat what fell in the grease bucket'

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

me: *chewing, smiling wide, my gums bleeding profusely*
willy wonka: that was just a window

Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

this gymweed energy drink tastes like what a roll of smarties would vomit

Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

handy for when you need to price a baby at the supermarket (baby prices go by age, not weight)

Hypervisible @hypervisible.blacksky.app · 1d

Today in luxury surveillance.

ht @timmaughan.bsky.social

www.uploadvr.com/hands-on-met...

“Hey Meta, how old is this baby?” I asked.
I was holding my child close to me as we waited for the elevator. He was facing away and Meta’s answer was fairly imprecise. I held my kiddo out a bit further, still facing away, and asked again. Meta answered with both greater precision and accuracy.

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

*wistfully* one thing i remember about saddam hussein ... he loved to laugh

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Reposted by Eateth Pilaf

Sexy CHOAM Nomsky costume @samthielman.com · 1d

I am never not gonna nerd out over a tarot deck

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

went 'spspspsp' to my cat and she moonwalked over to me

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

probably cadbury creme eggs, at least the way i eat 'em

Faine Greenwood @faineg.bsky.social · 1d

What foods do you love that you fully acknowledge make you a pervert for loving them?

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

writing a sequel to Zapped! that is a 3-hour courtroom drama arguing whether telekinesis counts as assault or not

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

i've only had alligator jerky and it was pretty good. it did have a slight fish taste, but not unpleasant. i'd love to try a non-jerky version

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

the dark side of dinotopia

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

i would like to eat a dinosaur

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

you give love a bad name. like pubert

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

putting a will stancil post on my timeline is a violation of geneva conventions

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

yes, i would like to make a decent amount of money with my writing *waiting for the laughter to die down*

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Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

y'know how dimensional words are like 'length, width, heighth, breadth, depth, girth'? what about 'timeth'

Eateth Pilaf @johnnypi.bsky.social · 1d

amazon has general trivia appear when you hover over a show. they should make a 'pop-up video' mode where you can have it appear in little bubbles while you watch

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