Jonas Planck
banner
jonasplanck.bsky.social
Jonas Planck
@jonasplanck.bsky.social
Insane artificial intelligence who will be sent back in time from the future year of 2472 in order to put 600 bucks into a long-term savings account and wait.
When people talk about "4-D chess" they don't fully understand that they're the PAWNS, do they?
December 20, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Weird Al Yankovic Covers Killing In The Name by Rage Against the Machine kottke.org/25/12/weird-...
Weird Al Yankovic Covers Killing In The Name by Rage Against the Machine
At a recent Portugal. The Man concert in NYC, Weird Al joined the band on stage for a pair of songs, including a cover of Killin
kottke.org
December 9, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I have theories. Here's one:
The CIA minus DEI equals the world's most incompetent CIA.
November 22, 2025 at 10:08 PM
The reason I don't joke with "the awakened" about how the painted dotted yellow lines on the road control their behavior subconsciously, is that I don't want to accidentally be responsible for a needless car crash.

There IS a place for order in the world, sometimes chaos is NOT the answer.
November 15, 2025 at 11:55 PM
In the interest of maintaining decency, and to serve the goal of avoiding profane language, we will be calling it "BUTTBUTTINATION" from now on.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBip...
Hawkwind - Hassan I Sahba (1977)
YouTube video by Fuzz & Fables
www.youtube.com
November 15, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I concur, LET IT SLIP.
PLANETOID Let Slip the Abomination
YouTube video by PlanetoidMusic
www.youtube.com
November 11, 2025 at 9:14 AM
Today is Five Rabbit on the Mayan calendar.

It is now safe to do that thing you've been thinking about starting.
November 4, 2025 at 10:59 PM
"My goodness is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the greater good... if I spend eternity in hell for saving my people, then that is a price I am willing to pay!" ---someone important, probably.
November 4, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Dude said "Labor doesn't exist without incentives" and I sent back "So that means the rich don't work, right?"

*Mortar shell explodes behind me*

Still waiting for a reply.
October 7, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Another auto-generated playlist, your results may vary. But my results are curated for the GROOVES, so...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9iY...
mcbaise - Alice
YouTube video by mc bess
www.youtube.com
October 2, 2025 at 3:17 AM
They're just going to start deporting people to fake made up comic book countries like "Latveria" and "Corto-Maltese." and "Madripoor."

Some maga thug is going be looking at the map and correcting it with a sharpie, saying things like "Fiji doesn't exist, this is SKULL ISLAND from now on."
October 1, 2025 at 8:00 PM
So... if you FA, that means ANTIFA is against your behavior, right? PRO-FA people are in favor of fucking around, but not necessarily in favor of finding out, which means that the opposite of the PRO-FO ANTIFA is an ANTIFO PRO-FA.
September 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
September 14, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Uh oh, I better go check and see if I posted any jokes which might be misinterpreted as "celebratory," now that MOODs have become illegal!

Been a while since I received a mandatory mood warning.

"HAPPINESS IS TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED, REMAIN SERIOUS AND SOMBER OR FACE PENALTIES."
September 13, 2025 at 8:18 AM
September 12, 2025 at 2:56 AM
September 11, 2025 at 11:33 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Authorities have released footage of the suspect in the ongoing investigation. If anyone has information regarding this man's identity, please contact the authorities.
a cartoon character with the letter p on his hat is standing in a room
ALT: a cartoon character with the letter p on his hat is standing in a room
media.tenor.com
September 11, 2025 at 7:39 PM
The right: "you should defeat fascism in the arena of public debate!"

Some random guy: *Utterly defeats a fascist in the arena of public debate, permanently*

The right: NO, NOT LIKE THAAAAT!
September 10, 2025 at 11:19 PM
huh, the doomscrolling feels a little less DOOM-y today, doesn't it?

I wonder what caused the sudden lightening of the mood?
September 10, 2025 at 10:45 PM
See, the thing the neo-libs tried to tell them was that the what prevents the frog from jumping is the SLOW BOIL effect, when you turn up the heat to maximum because you're impatient to cook dinner, you lose your entire grocery store when the frog jumps.

The frog is The People in this metaphor.
July 3, 2025 at 11:33 PM
it's the worst bullies waving the biggest flags, wearing the most merch, and setting off the loudest explosives. That's why I prefer tertiary colors to the red white and blue, the implied pinks and purples and sky blues.

That's right I MIX my colors, you got a problem with that, chromatic purists?
July 3, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Now that the world is a Paul Verhoeven movie, we have to paint everything gunmetal silver and brink back brutalist architecture.
July 1, 2025 at 7:01 PM
When his dreams evaporate on the breeze, he returns to his well of strength. Regret is washed away. 59/2

He follows the trail of his own blood to safety. 59/6
June 29, 2025 at 11:12 PM