José Cognac
@josecognac.bsky.social
Just another polyp in the sea of human mundanity.
Reposted by José Cognac
Yeah I know the body keeps the score but would it hurt to have a mellow practice round now and again, just hitting the ball around for funsies a while BODY??
March 15, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Yeah I know the body keeps the score but would it hurt to have a mellow practice round now and again, just hitting the ball around for funsies a while BODY??
Me, after being told that instead of staying on the Ozempic, I could just quit drinking:
March 15, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Me, after being told that instead of staying on the Ozempic, I could just quit drinking:
An ex from a while ago had a grandmother who called me anhedonic. First of all, hedonism is the only non-nihilistic philosophy that makes sense to me, and second, that comment has really stuck with me and robbed me of joy, thanks.
March 6, 2025 at 11:51 PM
An ex from a while ago had a grandmother who called me anhedonic. First of all, hedonism is the only non-nihilistic philosophy that makes sense to me, and second, that comment has really stuck with me and robbed me of joy, thanks.
Do kids still sing about John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, or is it Jeremy Seseame Skibidi Smith or some such now?
March 4, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Do kids still sing about John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, or is it Jeremy Seseame Skibidi Smith or some such now?
Pope names are so different. You’ve got your boring ones like John or Paul or John Paul, and you’ve got your snooty ones like Pious and Innocent. Then there are the cool ones. Zephyrinus. Telesphorus. I’ve got my fingers crossed for Zosimus II.
February 28, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Pope names are so different. You’ve got your boring ones like John or Paul or John Paul, and you’ve got your snooty ones like Pious and Innocent. Then there are the cool ones. Zephyrinus. Telesphorus. I’ve got my fingers crossed for Zosimus II.
It would be unethical to invest in for-profit prison companies, right? I just have the funny feeling that their business is about to boom.
February 6, 2025 at 12:17 AM
It would be unethical to invest in for-profit prison companies, right? I just have the funny feeling that their business is about to boom.
Reposted by José Cognac
I feel like Beyonce has a ska record in her
February 3, 2025 at 6:51 AM
I feel like Beyonce has a ska record in her
Why stop with a Wienermobile? We are in the age of drones, @oscarmayeres.bsky.social! That is what I'd truly like to see-ee-ee.
January 31, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Why stop with a Wienermobile? We are in the age of drones, @oscarmayeres.bsky.social! That is what I'd truly like to see-ee-ee.
Plato walks out of a cave and is like, “Do NOT go in there!”
January 29, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Plato walks out of a cave and is like, “Do NOT go in there!”
The first human and dolphin encounter to occur must have left them both like, “Whoa! WTF was that thing?! What were those awful sounds it made?”
January 27, 2025 at 8:21 PM
The first human and dolphin encounter to occur must have left them both like, “Whoa! WTF was that thing?! What were those awful sounds it made?”
New rule, in order to rename a mountain, you have to have climbed it.
January 26, 2025 at 2:05 AM
New rule, in order to rename a mountain, you have to have climbed it.
Reposted by José Cognac
Watching Gladiator 2. This society does not seem sustainable. I foresee difficult times for Rome but I'm sure it'll be fine.
January 25, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Watching Gladiator 2. This society does not seem sustainable. I foresee difficult times for Rome but I'm sure it'll be fine.
There’s snow on Bourbon Street, so make sure to salt the rim of your Old Fashioned, them’s the rules.
January 23, 2025 at 3:18 AM
There’s snow on Bourbon Street, so make sure to salt the rim of your Old Fashioned, them’s the rules.
It’s odd that Scrooge McDuck chooses to swim in coins. You’d think he’d choose bills.
January 22, 2025 at 2:30 AM
It’s odd that Scrooge McDuck chooses to swim in coins. You’d think he’d choose bills.
It must be extraordinarily difficult to raise daughters these days. What with the rising prices of nail polish and hair scrunchies and all.
January 19, 2025 at 4:00 AM
It must be extraordinarily difficult to raise daughters these days. What with the rising prices of nail polish and hair scrunchies and all.
Wait, TikTok is going away? But I watch attractive ladies dance on there. Wherever will I find such content now?!
January 18, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Wait, TikTok is going away? But I watch attractive ladies dance on there. Wherever will I find such content now?!
Does the Phillie Phanatic have genitals? I’m trying to write some steamy Phille Phaphanphic.
January 17, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Does the Phillie Phanatic have genitals? I’m trying to write some steamy Phille Phaphanphic.
Viking bumper sticker: “If this boat’s a Ragnaröking, don’t come a Ragnar-knöcking.” Hmm, a bit clunky. “Honk if you’re horny.” There it is.
January 16, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Viking bumper sticker: “If this boat’s a Ragnaröking, don’t come a Ragnar-knöcking.” Hmm, a bit clunky. “Honk if you’re horny.” There it is.
French Batman be like, “En guard! I am le vengeance.🦇🥖 Bat-guette. Uh huh huh.” French Joker be like, “Excusez-moi so serious?!” 🃏
January 15, 2025 at 2:23 AM
French Batman be like, “En guard! I am le vengeance.🦇🥖 Bat-guette. Uh huh huh.” French Joker be like, “Excusez-moi so serious?!” 🃏
Nic Cage and bees should make another movie together.
January 10, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Nic Cage and bees should make another movie together.
Denny’s or IHOP? Preference says a lot about you. Village Inn? GTFO.
January 9, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Denny’s or IHOP? Preference says a lot about you. Village Inn? GTFO.
Reposted by José Cognac
I want to learn to play bass just so that I can play that little bit in You Can call me Al.
January 5, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I want to learn to play bass just so that I can play that little bit in You Can call me Al.
Primitive cannibals believed that by consuming the flesh of their enemies, they could absorb their airline miles.
January 6, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Primitive cannibals believed that by consuming the flesh of their enemies, they could absorb their airline miles.
I’m watching an old movie called Hillbillies in a Haunted House. One of the hillbillies is named Jeepers. It’s as good as it sounds.
January 6, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I’m watching an old movie called Hillbillies in a Haunted House. One of the hillbillies is named Jeepers. It’s as good as it sounds.
Hear me out: a marriage of country music, and ska.
January 6, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Hear me out: a marriage of country music, and ska.