:// is the finger guns of protocols

I have simply become accustomed to being the oldest person in any YouTube community I’m a part of. Once, someone older than me joined the essay library, but they subsequently left discord entirely I think because the app could not countenance someone not young enough to be my child.

I gave up and became a cartoon because animation is orders of magnitude easier than good lighting. There’s obviously more happening here than I know about but I promise if this was your first attempt filming yourself the footage looked 10x less flattering than you look irl because of lighting.

A shady figure at a desk picks up a red telephone labeled “Courtney.”

The Internet puts the phone to its ear and says

“…print me your gayest whistles.”