For the benefit of any doubt I am joking, but at the same time it’s fairly baffling why *any* Labour politician would want it briefed that they take inspiration from Trump’s mass deportation policies.

Some of us vork the knight shifts and sleep all day.

And three times is enemy action.

I miss running. It’s been 15 years since I stopped - I reasoned that I’d maybe 10-15 years in my knees if I continued, or maybe 30-40 if I switched exclusively to cycling.

Home. 200km, 2600m of climbing, and an average temperature of 5°C. i feel oddly peckish.

It’d be rude not to have a dessert.

Crikey. Tough ride out of Teesdale. 3°C and a headwind. Now recovering with soup in the Hemmel Cafe in Allenheads at 115km.

Oh, well played, my friend. Well played.

Just so.

Last time I was at an amateur fireworks display, one of our neighbours decided their front garden with people walking past to on the path was an ideal venue. And the I saw them using a sparkler as a “torch” to select the next explosive from the box.

MrsOnSea baffled by my “We’re leaving RIGHT NOW!”

She reminds me of the not-anywhere-near-as-smart-as-their-parents-told-them-they-were kid at school, who being totally bereft of any self awareness, decided that punching down was the way to confound the evidence of everyone’s eyes.

I hope their fireworks fuses are as short as mine is when people are dicking around with explosives near me.

TBF, even *I* looked quite big in hockey kit, despite being about 9st (126lb; 57kg) when soaking wet.

I very rarely get close passes. But seeing drivers on the phone, or parked on zebra crossings' zigzags, or blocking box junctions...? Yeah, every flippin' day, and it is a pleasure to upload the footage to our local police portal.