Kevin (not from Home Alone)
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kjburke.bsky.social
Kevin (not from Home Alone)
@kjburke.bsky.social
My brand is 'starting new social media accounts and not being able to decide who to be so I end up being mostly myself'
Sidney is a funny name. It's really a super old man or a super hot young woman.
September 25, 2023 at 1:23 PM
No one tells you how much of sex is trying to hold in farts
September 14, 2023 at 7:31 PM
I'm on my third divorce lawyer in 6 months because they keep going on maternity leave. There's a baby boom in the legal field apparently
August 21, 2023 at 2:03 PM
My boss thinks we're exercise besties because we've seen each other on the trail 2 saturdays in a row. I've now chatted with this woman about walking and jogging more than I've ever chatted with work colleagues about anything.
August 1, 2023 at 1:26 AM
At my 3rd party DMV paperwork job, I mainly deal with orders from TN, SC, MS, AL and TX. I often wonder how many of these driver licenses I look at all day are racist, ignorant Trump cultists.
July 31, 2023 at 2:17 PM
Sometimes I'll see an old person's license and if it expires in like 2030, I'll say "I bet you expire before your license does, pal!"
July 25, 2023 at 1:19 PM
In South Carolina, they put your weight on your driver's license. How fucking rude is that, right?
Imagine being Jennifer from Inman and everyone you show your DL to knows that you're 200 lbs. That must suck!
July 24, 2023 at 8:12 PM
Imagine living in Lebanon, TN! That would suck!
July 24, 2023 at 7:58 PM
Imagine being named Shane! That would suck
July 24, 2023 at 7:53 PM
My main goal in life right now is to win a game of 4 suit spider solitaire. At the moment, my personal best is clearing one stack 🤣
July 20, 2023 at 2:11 PM
Reposted by Kevin (not from Home Alone)
i can not overstate how much i consider a chronological feed crucial for my personal social media experience
July 17, 2023 at 2:59 PM
Reposted by Kevin (not from Home Alone)
Mutual Aid Thread/Thread of support for Sex Workers. Please elevate, repost, and contribute.

I recognize how Sex Work is a serious job and to risk one's livelihood in solidarity means a lot.

I stand with Sex Workers forever and always.

Please comment your links.
July 15, 2023 at 11:27 PM
When your partner gets in bed and immediately starts scrolling on their phone, tell them, "you got time to phone then you got time to bone"
July 16, 2023 at 2:42 PM
Reposted by Kevin (not from Home Alone)
It rules how your Joes Rogan think a clip of Anthony Fauci saying “there’s gonna be a global pandemic at some point” proves he made COVID in a contraption but Exxon memos from the 70s that say “looks like we’re making the planet hotter LOL” prove nothing
July 8, 2023 at 5:45 PM
This is just like Twitter and Threads except I have no start up guide to find people and follow them
July 8, 2023 at 9:43 PM
A Skyrizi ad came on the TV as soon as I opened this app for the first time. What does this mean?
July 8, 2023 at 9:41 PM
Another scorcher!
July 8, 2023 at 9:34 PM