Krister Rollins
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kristerrollins.bsky.social
Krister Rollins
@kristerrollins.bsky.social
420 followers 410 following 230 posts
I like rule-of-three jokes, the oxford comma and irony.
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kristerrollins.bsky.social
Vacation sandwich report:

When Pigs Fly Sourdough
Tangy creamy mustard
Dill pickle
Pickled carrots
Cheddar
Leftover meatloaf
Mayo
When Pigs Fly Sourdough

Toasted in butter in a cast iron pan on the stovetop.
A picture of a halved sandwich on a plate. Potato chips mounded behind the sandwich. A travel mug of coffee behind that. And a Bluey water bottle.
November 22, 2025 at 5:30 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
"That's a push pin," insists LL Cool J, "don't call it a thumb tack."
Google image results for thumb tacks in various shapes, colors and materials
November 17, 2025 at 4:41 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
November 5, 2025 at 4:09 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
huh
a clip from a New York Times article that reads "Around the same time, the administration declared that a Venezuelan criminal group was a terrorist organization and that Venezuela's president, Nicolás Maduro, was its leader, while calling his government illegitimate." clip from a NYT article reading "In recent days, Mr. Maduro has accused Mr. Rubio of trying to drag Mr. Trump into a bloody war in the Caribbean, one that the Venezuela leader said would stain Mr. Trump's reputation. Mr. Maduro has threatened to respond to an armed attack in Venezuela with "maximum rebellion" and violence, while also saying he hopes that the U.S.-Venezuela relationship can continue with dialogue - not guns. He has also said that the United States is really after Venezuela's oil." NYT clip reads "Amid the belligerent rhetoric, the Pentagon has been amassing a small armada of warships in the southern Caribbean, to include three guided-missile destroyers. The Navy has also deployed the Iwo Jima Amphibious Ready Group - including the U.S.S. San Antonio, the U.S.S. Iwo Jima and the U.S.S. Fort Lauderdale, carrying 4,500 sailors - and the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit, with 2,200 Marines, Defense Department officials said. Several P-8 surveillance planes and at least one submarine have also deployed to the region, officials said."
September 4, 2025 at 2:31 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
Text from the 1440 Newsletter about Hurricane Erin. It reads: "Erin is the first hurricane of the 2025 Atlantic season and among the most rapidly intensifying storms in history. Storm names are typically recycled every six years, with exceptions for especially severe systems; the last time the US witnessed a Hurricane Erin was Sept. 11, 2001." Simpson's character Ned Flanders sits with an open book in his lap. He stares wide-eyed at the camera. What did he just read?
August 19, 2025 at 9:30 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
I can't believe they're finally paying me for this
A Krusty the Clown pirate tattoo in greywash on a forearm
August 14, 2025 at 1:51 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
Another angle. Pretty sure this was the day I graduated college or at least that weekend. I was drinking a bottle of wine my family had ordered but not finished at the restaurant we celebrated at.
The author towers over a select few others while wearing his favorite sweatshirt. The material was just the right weight. Went with everything.
July 21, 2025 at 2:55 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
Dear Kettle Cove Sweatshirt,

You were my Dad's at some point but it is one of the few otr garments that fit like it was made for me. I still feel the pang of loss I first felt when my ex said she'd accidentally taken the laundry bag you were in to Goodwill and had washed the bag of donations.
the author, bearing a truly regrettable facial hair choice, wears a navy raglan sleeve crewneck sweatshirt. It is marked with a gray logo for Kettle Cove Marina and it says "crew."
July 21, 2025 at 2:50 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
post your favorite doctor who
wrong answers only
daniel craig sprawls on a crushed velvet settee. His shirt, a silken moss green number, is fully unbuttoned. He rests his head on his hand as if to say "hey, what's up?"
July 1, 2025 at 2:54 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
i made this when he died
a black-and-white sketch of guardians angels founder curtis sliwa with a kitten on his shoulder, housing two hot dogs in front of a winged empire state building. a caption reads "curtis sliwa. 1st in tough, 2nd in mayor, 3rd in hot dog eating"
June 25, 2025 at 2:27 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
Here is an elderly dog named Jacket. He is less ugly - but likely significantly crankier - than the kind of jacket you're talking about. (Jacket = Jack Russel + Whippet, his suspected pedigree).
An smallish mostly-white dog named Jacket rests his old bones on a bed A white dog with black ears sleeps on a bed, stretched out comfortably on a clean white comforter A smallish, mostly-white-furred pooch yawns contentedly while laying on the floor A distinguished old dog stands on a mudflat during low tide, staring with interest but maybe not understanding at something offscreen. Behind him is a large wooden pier outfitted with pipes used in the transport of oil.
June 4, 2025 at 1:55 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
RIP George Wendt. One of the great everymen!
A four panel comic. 1) a mysterious silhouette walks by a stained glass window. 2) A door bursts open 3) Sam Malone stands behind the bar, rolling up his sleeves and yelling "Norms! 4) A two-headed Norm saunters up to the bar.
May 21, 2025 at 2:27 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
I'm probably gonna eat these words but I'm looking forward to when G.O. starts asking questions.
the world's cutest baby, with wavy blonde locks and bright blue eyes, sits in a high chair at the table. He is awaiting breakfast, his future, his destiny.
April 30, 2025 at 2:08 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
@alexsteed.bsky.social Athena says thank you. It is a zine-related message of gratitude
a picture of some texts from athena where she asks me to thank alex steed for her.
April 30, 2025 at 1:27 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
This is where my grandmother is from. She lives just a little south of those flaming lumps which, when I visited, were not there.
Really fun stuff!
A closeup inset of Åland on a digitized map from centuries ago
April 26, 2025 at 10:11 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
now go get your sister
March 24, 2025 at 12:48 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
take my uku course
very learn tuning
A ukulele head in the general shape of my head with a handy timing mnemonic: Great Crister Enderstands Acronyms
March 16, 2025 at 8:10 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
alexander graham bell looks like those woolly mice
several google photo results for alexander graham bell, showing a sweet-faced scot with a shock of fluffy white hair encircling his noggin
March 7, 2025 at 5:13 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
lyrics have never been realer fr
it's lyrics to freak nasty 1997 jam da dip And take a chance I put my hand upon your hip When I dip, you dip, we dip You put your hand upon my hip When you dip, I dip, we dip I put my hand upon your hip When I dip, you dip, we dip You put yours then I put mine Then we can dip down low And roll and arind
February 19, 2025 at 4:05 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
mel brooks looks great
sabrina carpenter sings alongside paul simon
February 17, 2025 at 1:05 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
it's true
in a still from the movie face/off, nicolas cage - as the villain Castor Pollux - tells a woman "i could eat a quiche for hours". The original line is "i could eat a peach for hours."
February 3, 2025 at 9:13 PM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
haha
a linked in ad touting "hiring trends for Standup Comedian roles" The it says "people with similar roles applied to these jobs" And then the jobs are insurance sales rep and a part time bj's order fulfillment gig.
January 21, 2025 at 3:47 AM
kristerrollins.bsky.social
The Cliffhanger movie poster. Text on the cliff reads "my son's foot." Sylvester Stallone hangs from it by one hand. Text on him reads "my son's sock."
December 29, 2024 at 1:10 AM