But tinybaby, it’s BORING

Sterile mud is just dirt and piss, right?

Does that shirt say Hymns for Trucks? Buddy, god isnt helping you unfuck an engineer’s serviceability oversight.

Texas is the Treason

This is why it's very important, believe it or not, to keep doing things that make you happy. Their goal is to immiserate you, me, and everyone remotely like us, and if you retain some joy in your life amid all this misery they're failing.

Taking up a handicap spot too. No limit for these dickheads

Do you make your own meth?

He looks so damp

“Im just going to cut the steak in half to see if it’s cooked the way you want it”

Thats a worse nomination to win ratio than Susan Lucci. But people liked her.

Ready to die, sir

Questions about this photo: wheres the agent in gray coat’s head? Whats going on with gray coat agent’s hand coverings? How’s gray coat agent’s right leg bending like that? Why does green coat agent’s left arm have a black half-sleeve? Where did you get this picture?

Reminds of the Soldier Field renovation where someone said it looked like they dropped a spaceship on it. These folks: “that could work for us too”

I stole that tie from my dad in 1994

Use the recirculation function on your vehicle’s HVAC to close outside air inlets in the presence or ICE

Motherfucker loved Meet the Parents so much