Actually, it’s Lars
@laurasimis.bsky.social
if you’re reading this, bring me french fries.
Please remember that you're speaking with someone who is in the top 1% of NYT Connections solvers when you speak to me.
December 19, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Please remember that you're speaking with someone who is in the top 1% of NYT Connections solvers when you speak to me.
The first four seconds of "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" by Elton John and "Building the Crate" from the Chicken Run soundtrack are indistinguishable from one another.
November 9, 2025 at 11:45 PM
The first four seconds of "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" by Elton John and "Building the Crate" from the Chicken Run soundtrack are indistinguishable from one another.
RFK Jr is giving us full Darth Vader into this microphone between comments during this Senate hearing.
September 4, 2025 at 2:51 PM
RFK Jr is giving us full Darth Vader into this microphone between comments during this Senate hearing.
Reposted by Actually, it’s Lars
only idiots rob banks. i rob zoos. i have 47 meerkats
December 7, 2024 at 2:28 AM
only idiots rob banks. i rob zoos. i have 47 meerkats
I just want to lay on my couch and watch home improvement shows until I perish of natural causes.
March 11, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I just want to lay on my couch and watch home improvement shows until I perish of natural causes.
Just remembered that I lied to my Girl Scout troop about being afraid of heights for 6 years to keep up appearances after refusing to do a high ropes course.
March 11, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Just remembered that I lied to my Girl Scout troop about being afraid of heights for 6 years to keep up appearances after refusing to do a high ropes course.
Reposted by Actually, it’s Lars
"trust your gut" you mean the thing that cant handle a little crumb of gluten? ok
January 23, 2025 at 4:05 PM
"trust your gut" you mean the thing that cant handle a little crumb of gluten? ok
Me at the start of 2024 vs. Me at the end of 2024
December 22, 2024 at 3:58 PM
Me at the start of 2024 vs. Me at the end of 2024
Just thinking back to the golden days, when you could buy a hermit crab in the middle of the shopping mall.
December 19, 2024 at 2:05 AM
Just thinking back to the golden days, when you could buy a hermit crab in the middle of the shopping mall.
It should be illegal for there to be middle seats on a flight longer than 8 hours.
December 5, 2024 at 10:14 PM
It should be illegal for there to be middle seats on a flight longer than 8 hours.
Just met a grocery store cashier who knows more about Benedict Cumberbatch than I know about the subject I majored in in college.
November 23, 2024 at 11:18 PM
Just met a grocery store cashier who knows more about Benedict Cumberbatch than I know about the subject I majored in in college.
My Wii Fit trainer and I haven’t spoken in 16 years.
November 15, 2024 at 2:35 AM
My Wii Fit trainer and I haven’t spoken in 16 years.
Have marketing execs considered the fact that Brian Jordan Alvarez' dancing has actually convinced me to watch English Teacher on Hulu?
November 15, 2024 at 1:50 AM
Have marketing execs considered the fact that Brian Jordan Alvarez' dancing has actually convinced me to watch English Teacher on Hulu?
Reposted by Actually, it’s Lars
Microplastics are bad but at some point we should talk about how much sunscreen I'm eating.
September 24, 2023 at 8:44 PM
Microplastics are bad but at some point we should talk about how much sunscreen I'm eating.
If you want to destroy me, all you have to do is manufacture a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly, and then suddenly discontinue that fit.
July 26, 2023 at 9:25 PM
If you want to destroy me, all you have to do is manufacture a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly, and then suddenly discontinue that fit.
Trying to avoid Barbie movie spoilers
July 25, 2023 at 2:35 PM
Trying to avoid Barbie movie spoilers
This Barbie is Driving a Mini-van 🎀
Cardboard Mansion Barbie
This Barbie is Driving a Mini-Van.
girlinterrupting.substack.com
July 23, 2023 at 5:55 PM
This Barbie is Driving a Mini-van 🎀
Working on a performance piece where I make a 7-layer dip and then eat the entire thing in one sitting.
July 7, 2023 at 3:54 PM
Working on a performance piece where I make a 7-layer dip and then eat the entire thing in one sitting.
Am I just supposed to let the embarrassing things I tweeted in 2015 SIT THERE?
July 6, 2023 at 8:50 PM
Am I just supposed to let the embarrassing things I tweeted in 2015 SIT THERE?
I assume the true measure of wealth is not having to layer items of clothing on hangers in your closet.
July 3, 2023 at 2:04 PM
I assume the true measure of wealth is not having to layer items of clothing on hangers in your closet.
Can't wait to be a different (worse!!) person over here.
July 3, 2023 at 12:42 PM
Can't wait to be a different (worse!!) person over here.