Lemongrandma
@lemongrandma.bsky.social
these are private don’t you dare
Someone needs to tell the men that it’s embarrassing when they outsource empathy via girlfriend
December 14, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Someone needs to tell the men that it’s embarrassing when they outsource empathy via girlfriend
“Littles” “tiny humans” “kiddos” “smol beans” oh my god just call them children
December 11, 2025 at 5:42 PM
“Littles” “tiny humans” “kiddos” “smol beans” oh my god just call them children
I like to time my breakouts for when I’m really feeling like a frozen poop log
December 7, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I like to time my breakouts for when I’m really feeling like a frozen poop log
My Spotify wrapped Most Listened was a cry for help. Switching to cassettes
December 7, 2025 at 4:07 PM
My Spotify wrapped Most Listened was a cry for help. Switching to cassettes
eggnog-ledge me pls
December 4, 2025 at 9:48 PM
eggnog-ledge me pls
Reposted by Lemongrandma
ugh the secret service is outside my house again
December 2, 2025 at 12:19 AM
ugh the secret service is outside my house again
me and my girls are busy anti yellow wallpapering
December 1, 2025 at 8:55 PM
me and my girls are busy anti yellow wallpapering
Cold front winds almost perfectly mask my ranting neighbor, who likes to rant outside. the wind is buffeting in such a way as to make him sound like a wizard shouting a spell that causes an avalanche on the same mountain his ex bf is on
November 30, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Cold front winds almost perfectly mask my ranting neighbor, who likes to rant outside. the wind is buffeting in such a way as to make him sound like a wizard shouting a spell that causes an avalanche on the same mountain his ex bf is on
Sorry can’t make it. I gotta French braid my bush before candlelight mass
November 30, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Sorry can’t make it. I gotta French braid my bush before candlelight mass
I love to scream
November 19, 2025 at 5:28 AM
I love to scream
Girl if I marry him you better kill me
November 19, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Girl if I marry him you better kill me
Sex and the city season 5 is somehow worse than the previous 4 but I have seen so much boobs
November 19, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Sex and the city season 5 is somehow worse than the previous 4 but I have seen so much boobs
Stop making new dogs
November 7, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Stop making new dogs
Snapped ur dad’s cock clean off during a tetanus spasm. Got to stop licking nails
November 7, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Snapped ur dad’s cock clean off during a tetanus spasm. Got to stop licking nails
The IBS fairy granting me a truly raucous public bathroom episode for my birthday was so generous
October 18, 2025 at 6:18 PM
The IBS fairy granting me a truly raucous public bathroom episode for my birthday was so generous
Men asking women what they thought of them in high school because they gotta outsource introspection
October 17, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Men asking women what they thought of them in high school because they gotta outsource introspection
Reposted by Lemongrandma
you’re a grown woman. grow out your bush, babe. the wilderness is meant to be explored.
September 17, 2025 at 5:38 PM
you’re a grown woman. grow out your bush, babe. the wilderness is meant to be explored.
Got kicked out of the orgy for ripping all the penises off with my teeth
September 4, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Got kicked out of the orgy for ripping all the penises off with my teeth
“The fushigi stays on during sex”
August 17, 2025 at 6:39 AM
“The fushigi stays on during sex”
Late in life circumcisions are a great example of an angel losing their wings
July 23, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Late in life circumcisions are a great example of an angel losing their wings
STOP USING “RAW DOG” FOR EVERYTHING, IT IS NOT MEANT FOR USE IN MEETINGS OR IN THE WORKPLACE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS? DOOOOOOO YOU CARE
June 24, 2025 at 8:15 PM
STOP USING “RAW DOG” FOR EVERYTHING, IT IS NOT MEANT FOR USE IN MEETINGS OR IN THE WORKPLACE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS? DOOOOOOO YOU CARE
Ocean water slush turned my shit a perfect shade of phthalo green, @ annoying men where are you
June 22, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Ocean water slush turned my shit a perfect shade of phthalo green, @ annoying men where are you
When the arthritis takes my hands I’ll have to mourn my job title because “foot job queen” doesn’t have the same ring to it
June 22, 2025 at 4:07 PM
When the arthritis takes my hands I’ll have to mourn my job title because “foot job queen” doesn’t have the same ring to it
My favorite thing about bookstore restrooms is that people are really shitting in there. There is no judgement
June 21, 2025 at 5:53 PM
My favorite thing about bookstore restrooms is that people are really shitting in there. There is no judgement
*sniffing dragon figurines at an estate sale*
A nerd was here
A nerd was here
June 21, 2025 at 5:43 PM
*sniffing dragon figurines at an estate sale*
A nerd was here
A nerd was here