Leni Quinn
@leniquinn.bsky.social
Hi! Writer, sometimes funny, definitely weird. GenXer, so I can tell you what it was like in the Before Times (before the Internet, that is). https://medium.com/@leni.quinn
“Where I come from, intense human-dragon bonds are essential to the main plot. But, as far as I can tell, the only thing that seems essential to the main plot here at VectorAxis Technologies is the quarterly revenue.”
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
Five Reasons Why I, a Pink-Winged Romantasy Dragon, Am Perplexed by Corporate Life
On adjusting to a job description that doesn’t include love, fire, or flying
medium.com
December 28, 2025 at 8:03 PM
“Where I come from, intense human-dragon bonds are essential to the main plot. But, as far as I can tell, the only thing that seems essential to the main plot here at VectorAxis Technologies is the quarterly revenue.”
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
On the list of problems a romantasy dragon faces in corporate life: no one lets him breathe fire.
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
Five Reasons Why I, a Pink-Winged Romantasy Dragon, Am Perplexed by Corporate Life
On adjusting to a job description that doesn’t include love, fire, or flying
medium.com
December 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
On the list of problems a romantasy dragon faces in corporate life: no one lets him breathe fire.
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
Have yourself a very Eighties Christmas!
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
Have Yourself a Very Eighties Christmas!
Restraint is overrated
medium.com
December 24, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Have yourself a very Eighties Christmas!
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
New essay!
From the perspective of a car petrified of suburban strip mall parking lots—and is forced to drive through one two days before Christmas 🎄🎁🎅
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#humor #writing #fiction
From the perspective of a car petrified of suburban strip mall parking lots—and is forced to drive through one two days before Christmas 🎄🎁🎅
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#humor #writing #fiction
I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot
Please Proceed to Any Other Location
medium.com
December 23, 2025 at 12:52 PM
New essay!
From the perspective of a car petrified of suburban strip mall parking lots—and is forced to drive through one two days before Christmas 🎄🎁🎅
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#humor #writing #fiction
From the perspective of a car petrified of suburban strip mall parking lots—and is forced to drive through one two days before Christmas 🎄🎁🎅
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#humor #writing #fiction
"I understand that I’m not a Maserati. But nothing about me says “taco-shaped air freshener” either."
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #holidays
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #holidays
I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot
Please Proceed to Any Other Location
medium.com
December 22, 2025 at 9:15 PM
"I understand that I’m not a Maserati. But nothing about me says “taco-shaped air freshener” either."
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #holidays
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #holidays
"Oh no. Are you turning here? Yes, I know you entered this address into my system back when we were in your driveway. But I was in denial."
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #writingcommunity
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #writingcommunity
I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot
Please Proceed to Any Other Location
medium.com
December 22, 2025 at 5:18 PM
"Oh no. Are you turning here? Yes, I know you entered this address into my system back when we were in your driveway. But I was in denial."
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #writingcommunity
From: "I Was Designed for an Average Commute and Errands — Not This Lawless Strip Mall Parking Lot"
medium.com/the-haven/i-...
#writing #writingcommunity
“To transform yourself into the gnarly, bitchin’ eighties badass you really are, grab a can of Aqua Net and a comb and work on getting those bangs a good 4–5 inches straight up in the air.”
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #writing #Christmas
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #writing #Christmas
Have Yourself a Very Eighties Christmas!
Restraint is overrated
medium.com
December 21, 2025 at 9:12 PM
“To transform yourself into the gnarly, bitchin’ eighties badass you really are, grab a can of Aqua Net and a comb and work on getting those bangs a good 4–5 inches straight up in the air.”
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #writing #Christmas
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #writing #Christmas
“Yes, I suppose we exist in the same space. But my mind — that’s another matter! My memory contains lengthy poetic narratives on chaos, authority, and urban alienation. By geniuses like Pink Floyd, The Who, and Rush.”
- Ian the iPod
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #technology #humor
- Ian the iPod
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #technology #humor
I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me
There’s no such thing as “Duct Tape v16.12218”
medium.com
December 21, 2025 at 3:43 PM
“Yes, I suppose we exist in the same space. But my mind — that’s another matter! My memory contains lengthy poetic narratives on chaos, authority, and urban alienation. By geniuses like Pink Floyd, The Who, and Rush.”
- Ian the iPod
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #technology #humor
- Ian the iPod
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #technology #humor
Reposted by Leni Quinn
finally started Pluribus. many thoughts, chief among which is: find you somebody that loves you like Vince Gilligan loves Albuquerque
December 21, 2025 at 1:31 AM
finally started Pluribus. many thoughts, chief among which is: find you somebody that loves you like Vince Gilligan loves Albuquerque
"Duct tape cannot become obsolete! Also, there are no versions of me, while you, my friend, are a 5th-generation Nano. HA!"
From "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writing #humor #writingcommunity #writers
From "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writing #humor #writingcommunity #writers
I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me
There’s no such thing as “Duct Tape v16.12218”
medium.com
December 21, 2025 at 1:55 PM
"Duct tape cannot become obsolete! Also, there are no versions of me, while you, my friend, are a 5th-generation Nano. HA!"
From "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writing #humor #writingcommunity #writers
From "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writing #humor #writingcommunity #writers
“Grab great handfuls of foil tinsel icicles and slap that shit all over your tree. No specific guidelines for this, really. Other than: don’t stop until it looks like a tinsel monster yakked all over your overpriced balsam fir.”
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#writing #eighties #christmas
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#writing #eighties #christmas
Have Yourself a Very Eighties Christmas!
Restraint is overrated
medium.com
December 20, 2025 at 8:46 PM
“Grab great handfuls of foil tinsel icicles and slap that shit all over your tree. No specific guidelines for this, really. Other than: don’t stop until it looks like a tinsel monster yakked all over your overpriced balsam fir.”
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#writing #eighties #christmas
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#writing #eighties #christmas
"That moment when you gently — so gently! — placed me in the socket of the faux-Victorian lamp that you bought at Target was, without a doubt, the purest, most perfect joy I’ve ever felt in all my 2,190 hours of usage."
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor
Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me
Low wattage, but big dreams
medium.com
December 20, 2025 at 12:48 PM
"That moment when you gently — so gently! — placed me in the socket of the faux-Victorian lamp that you bought at Target was, without a doubt, the purest, most perfect joy I’ve ever felt in all my 2,190 hours of usage."
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor
New essay!
"Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me"
💡💡💡
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #writingsky
"Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me"
💡💡💡
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #writingsky
Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me
Low wattage, but big dreams
medium.com
December 19, 2025 at 5:46 PM
New essay!
"Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me"
💡💡💡
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #writingsky
"Alas, for I Am but a Dim Bulb! Please Console Me"
💡💡💡
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #writingsky
New essay!
"Here's How It Went When Satan Was My Boss"
--
- “That CFO guy is more evil than I am. And that’s saying something.”
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#humor #writingcommunity #worklife #writing #medium
"Here's How It Went When Satan Was My Boss"
--
- “That CFO guy is more evil than I am. And that’s saying something.”
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#humor #writingcommunity #worklife #writing #medium
Here’s How it Went When Satan Was My Boss
It wasn’t as bad as it sounds
medium.com
December 18, 2025 at 5:43 PM
New essay!
"Here's How It Went When Satan Was My Boss"
--
- “That CFO guy is more evil than I am. And that’s saying something.”
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#humor #writingcommunity #worklife #writing #medium
"Here's How It Went When Satan Was My Boss"
--
- “That CFO guy is more evil than I am. And that’s saying something.”
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#humor #writingcommunity #worklife #writing #medium
"Honestly, I hadn’t even had breakfast yet. But I had a feeling that when Satan offers you a roasted marshmallow and an Fanta Orange, you should probably accept."
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #work
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #work
Here’s How it Went When Satan Was My Boss
It wasn’t as bad as it sounds
medium.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:53 PM
"Honestly, I hadn’t even had breakfast yet. But I had a feeling that when Satan offers you a roasted marshmallow and an Fanta Orange, you should probably accept."
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #work
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/he...
#writing #writingcommunity #humor #work
"Did I say you were allowed to put your reusable bag there? No, I did not. It’s my way or the highway. Don’t you know that by now?"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #ai #writingsky
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #ai #writingsky
A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality
Can’t see the teensy font on that produce sticker? Too bad!
medium.com
December 16, 2025 at 1:22 PM
"Did I say you were allowed to put your reusable bag there? No, I did not. It’s my way or the highway. Don’t you know that by now?"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #ai #writingsky
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #ai #writingsky
Can't see the teensy font on that produce sticker? Too bad!
New essay:
"A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#humor #ai #writingcommunity
New essay:
"A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#humor #ai #writingcommunity
A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality
Can’t see the teensy font on that produce sticker? Too bad!
medium.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Can't see the teensy font on that produce sticker? Too bad!
New essay:
"A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#humor #ai #writingcommunity
New essay:
"A New Unexplained Item in the Bagging Area: A Self-Checkout Machine’s Personality"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#humor #ai #writingcommunity
"How, the next day, I cursed the sun!
For I needed to wait for it to set before I could go to Costco again! (Otherwise, I would have been burned to a crisp.)"
- From "I've Been Undead for 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco"
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#amwriting #medium #vampires #Costco
For I needed to wait for it to set before I could go to Costco again! (Otherwise, I would have been burned to a crisp.)"
- From "I've Been Undead for 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco"
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#amwriting #medium #vampires #Costco
I’ve Been Undead for Over 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco
My unbeating, undead heart thrilled at the savings!
medium.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:44 PM
"How, the next day, I cursed the sun!
For I needed to wait for it to set before I could go to Costco again! (Otherwise, I would have been burned to a crisp.)"
- From "I've Been Undead for 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco"
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#amwriting #medium #vampires #Costco
For I needed to wait for it to set before I could go to Costco again! (Otherwise, I would have been burned to a crisp.)"
- From "I've Been Undead for 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco"
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#amwriting #medium #vampires #Costco
One day, a vampire walked into a Costco...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#medium #writingcommunity #writingsky #costco
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#medium #writingcommunity #writingsky #costco
I’ve Been Undead for Over 300 Years and Just Discovered Costco
My unbeating, undead heart thrilled at the savings!
medium.com
December 11, 2025 at 12:06 PM
One day, a vampire walked into a Costco...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#medium #writingcommunity #writingsky #costco
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/the-haven/iv...
#medium #writingcommunity #writingsky #costco
New essay!
About getting signed up for an email list you never asked to be on...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #mediumwriters #humor #emailmarketing
About getting signed up for an email list you never asked to be on...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #mediumwriters #humor #emailmarketing
I Received an Unsolicited Halitosis-Themed Email, Complete With Footnotes
Lucky me!
medium.com
December 9, 2025 at 2:22 PM
New essay!
About getting signed up for an email list you never asked to be on...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #mediumwriters #humor #emailmarketing
About getting signed up for an email list you never asked to be on...
(Humor 😃)
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#writing #mediumwriters #humor #emailmarketing
A rotary phone has something to say about the new analog trend...
(Who knew they were so talkative?!)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
#writing #nostalgia #analoglife #mediumwriters
(Who knew they were so talkative?!)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
#writing #nostalgia #analoglife #mediumwriters
You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life
I’m one hundred percent qualified for this job
medium.com
December 8, 2025 at 9:47 PM
A rotary phone has something to say about the new analog trend...
(Who knew they were so talkative?!)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
#writing #nostalgia #analoglife #mediumwriters
(Who knew they were so talkative?!)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
#writing #nostalgia #analoglife #mediumwriters
New essay! (Humor)
"You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life"
☎️☎️☎️
Quote:
"Wow. An actual dial tone.” He gazed at me. “You’re so real.”
- Matty (member of Gen Z)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
"You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life"
☎️☎️☎️
Quote:
"Wow. An actual dial tone.” He gazed at me. “You’re so real.”
- Matty (member of Gen Z)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life
I’m one hundred percent qualified for this job
medium.com
December 8, 2025 at 4:56 PM
New essay! (Humor)
"You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life"
☎️☎️☎️
Quote:
"Wow. An actual dial tone.” He gazed at me. “You’re so real.”
- Matty (member of Gen Z)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
"You Bought Me, a Rotary Phone, for a Slower, More Deliberate Life"
☎️☎️☎️
Quote:
"Wow. An actual dial tone.” He gazed at me. “You’re so real.”
- Matty (member of Gen Z)
medium.com/the-haven/yo...
"Yes, I’ll admit I was there — at the liquor store, with my buddies Wuzz and Fuzz.
But going there wasn’t my idea!"
- By the Drunk (now sober) Raccoon that Trashed that Virginia ABC Store
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
But going there wasn’t my idea!"
- By the Drunk (now sober) Raccoon that Trashed that Virginia ABC Store
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
I’m That Drunk Raccoon You Just Read About in the News.
Here’s what really happened
medium.com
December 7, 2025 at 12:34 PM
"Yes, I’ll admit I was there — at the liquor store, with my buddies Wuzz and Fuzz.
But going there wasn’t my idea!"
- By the Drunk (now sober) Raccoon that Trashed that Virginia ABC Store
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
But going there wasn’t my idea!"
- By the Drunk (now sober) Raccoon that Trashed that Virginia ABC Store
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
"Empty my contents into a bowl of sour cream, and then slather the resulting salty green-speckled goo all over the chicken you actually wanted to get: the non-organic chicken thighs that are on sale.
You know I won’t let you down."
tinyurl.com/leniq
You know I won’t let you down."
tinyurl.com/leniq
I Am a Ranch Dressing Seasoning Pack, and I Am Here For You
A love story
medium.com
December 6, 2025 at 3:49 PM
"Empty my contents into a bowl of sour cream, and then slather the resulting salty green-speckled goo all over the chicken you actually wanted to get: the non-organic chicken thighs that are on sale.
You know I won’t let you down."
tinyurl.com/leniq
You know I won’t let you down."
tinyurl.com/leniq
"O God! God! Wherein lies my choice?"
- Hamlet, trying to choose between multiple creamers at Starbucks 😁
New piece published on Medium!
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#coffee #sharespeare #writing
- Hamlet, trying to choose between multiple creamers at Starbucks 😁
New piece published on Medium!
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#coffee #sharespeare #writing
The Day Hamlet Ordered Coffee at Starbucks
Heavy is the choice between Whole and Skim
medium.com
December 6, 2025 at 12:56 PM
"O God! God! Wherein lies my choice?"
- Hamlet, trying to choose between multiple creamers at Starbucks 😁
New piece published on Medium!
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#coffee #sharespeare #writing
- Hamlet, trying to choose between multiple creamers at Starbucks 😁
New piece published on Medium!
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#coffee #sharespeare #writing