Lia Woodward
@liaawoodward.bsky.social
I would prefer to just tell jokes but the world is falling apart. Writer on S4&5 Disney’s Bunk’d, Episode 212 Villains of Valley View, and some pieces in McSweeney’s
Pinned
"Surely, we have emergency brakes to stop these kinds of things. Someone will intervene. I would look into who that is supposed to be exactly, but this glockenspiel isn’t going to tune itself."
I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
Guten tag. I’m just wondering if anybody else can relate to this feeling I’ve been having that I just can’t shake. It’s only Tuesday, but what a we...
www.mcsweeneys.net
Not an April Fools’ joke! @leahfolta.bsky.social and I got published in McSweeney’s today!
BF and I were trying to think of what you would call a restaurant you opened that was the opposite of gluten-free and I think it’s “Gluten Prison”
December 23, 2025 at 12:11 PM
BF and I were trying to think of what you would call a restaurant you opened that was the opposite of gluten-free and I think it’s “Gluten Prison”
Reminder to all the wedding business websites: You alter the dress before walking down the aisle to the altar, then visit a Scottish isle on your honeymoon.
December 17, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Reminder to all the wedding business websites: You alter the dress before walking down the aisle to the altar, then visit a Scottish isle on your honeymoon.
I mean I /guess/ they have to put The Rock on every The Mummy Returns t-shirt design, but — stay with me— what if they didn’t?
December 17, 2025 at 10:32 AM
I mean I /guess/ they have to put The Rock on every The Mummy Returns t-shirt design, but — stay with me— what if they didn’t?
I wonder if Tom Holland could have imagined just how many nervous systems he would one day be responsible for regulating when he did lip sync battle.
December 13, 2025 at 8:34 AM
I wonder if Tom Holland could have imagined just how many nervous systems he would one day be responsible for regulating when he did lip sync battle.
The “add coffee to a chocolate recipe and it’ll enhance the chocolate flavor!” is only true for people who like coffee.
December 12, 2025 at 10:15 PM
The “add coffee to a chocolate recipe and it’ll enhance the chocolate flavor!” is only true for people who like coffee.
I think I’m more upset about AI taking em dashes from me than taking my job.
October 29, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I think I’m more upset about AI taking em dashes from me than taking my job.
One of my biggest pet peeves is SHEIN existing.
October 23, 2025 at 9:14 AM
One of my biggest pet peeves is SHEIN existing.
People think it’s weird to still mask because the “chances” of a bad outcome are so small, but the thing is, I personally know WAY more people whose lives have been completely changed by this virus than by a car accident (and I still think you should wear seatbelts, too).
October 18, 2025 at 3:12 AM
People think it’s weird to still mask because the “chances” of a bad outcome are so small, but the thing is, I personally know WAY more people whose lives have been completely changed by this virus than by a car accident (and I still think you should wear seatbelts, too).
I like those giant skeletons everyone has on their lawns but they also make me a little nervous, which is also how I feel about the skeletons everyone has in their bodies.
October 17, 2025 at 10:52 AM
I like those giant skeletons everyone has on their lawns but they also make me a little nervous, which is also how I feel about the skeletons everyone has in their bodies.
It’s All Hallows’ Eve not All Hallows’ Steve
October 5, 2025 at 4:03 AM
It’s All Hallows’ Eve not All Hallows’ Steve
Some people save bags/leave things in the bags for later, and some people throw bags away without looking in them/assuming they have no further use, and then they marry each other.
September 13, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Some people save bags/leave things in the bags for later, and some people throw bags away without looking in them/assuming they have no further use, and then they marry each other.
It’s been such a reliable, consistent, and arguably comforting pattern that I’ll actually be kind of sad on the day when Etsy’s “saw something you might like” emails are anywhere close to being right.
August 31, 2025 at 1:08 AM
It’s been such a reliable, consistent, and arguably comforting pattern that I’ll actually be kind of sad on the day when Etsy’s “saw something you might like” emails are anywhere close to being right.
I am “really excited about our new shoe rack” years old.
August 13, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I am “really excited about our new shoe rack” years old.
Has anyone talked about the east coast privilege of waking up to way fewer emails?
August 10, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Has anyone talked about the east coast privilege of waking up to way fewer emails?
Wedding dress shops say, “okay girlfriend!” the way The Bear says, “yes chef.”
July 16, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Wedding dress shops say, “okay girlfriend!” the way The Bear says, “yes chef.”
Explain it to me like /you’re/ five years old.
June 8, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Explain it to me like /you’re/ five years old.
Thoughts and prayers for all the MAGAs who gleefully bought cybertrucks www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
Trump's conflict with Musk explodes into a public feud
Trump said he had a "great relationship" with Musk but that "I don't know if we will anymore."
www.nbcnews.com
June 5, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Thoughts and prayers for all the MAGAs who gleefully bought cybertrucks www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
*me living my life*
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!
June 3, 2025 at 9:52 AM
*me living my life*
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!
Everyone in the Mission Impossibles: This mission is impossible.
Tom Cruise: It’s possible.
Tom Cruise: It’s possible.
May 29, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Everyone in the Mission Impossibles: This mission is impossible.
Tom Cruise: It’s possible.
Tom Cruise: It’s possible.
RFK jr’s whole deal with vaccines is a grift to funnel money away from real medicine into Big Wellness (which completely dwarfs “Big Pharma” in profit, btw).
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.
May 28, 2025 at 11:58 PM
RFK jr’s whole deal with vaccines is a grift to funnel money away from real medicine into Big Wellness (which completely dwarfs “Big Pharma” in profit, btw).
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.
Just when I think I’m caught up on the live camera Big Bear eagle names and backstories (Shadow, Jackie, Sunny, Gizmo, Jackie’s jilted ex-husband Mr. B) my mom will check the feed on her phone and in a low voice say something like, “oh looks like Fiona and Fast Freddy are back.”
May 27, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Just when I think I’m caught up on the live camera Big Bear eagle names and backstories (Shadow, Jackie, Sunny, Gizmo, Jackie’s jilted ex-husband Mr. B) my mom will check the feed on her phone and in a low voice say something like, “oh looks like Fiona and Fast Freddy are back.”
My neighbor across from me in the hall and I have ring cameras pointed right at each other’s doors for mutual assured destruction.
May 25, 2025 at 10:44 AM
My neighbor across from me in the hall and I have ring cameras pointed right at each other’s doors for mutual assured destruction.
Pretty cool of everybody involved to introduce a new pope in 2005 right around the Revenge of the Sith release and then do it again this year just in time for the 20th anniversary.
May 9, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Pretty cool of everybody involved to introduce a new pope in 2005 right around the Revenge of the Sith release and then do it again this year just in time for the 20th anniversary.
When I’m reading fast RFK jr can look a lot like JKR and it kind of doesn’t matter because both make me furious.
May 4, 2025 at 10:01 AM
When I’m reading fast RFK jr can look a lot like JKR and it kind of doesn’t matter because both make me furious.
Reposted by Lia Woodward
May 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM