"How did he get away? You had him delta rice!"

I often mis-hear what people say, especially if I'm not focused in on them.

But just running that line through my mind would be enough to tell me I've got something wrong.

Dammit, Hardison.

Now that I think of it, my first iPad had a Don't Panic cover.

I found it very soothing.

For about ten seconds I considered the following for my wedding vows:

Ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good woman at your side.

Then I remembered there are as many divorce lawyers as wedding chapels.

In addition to the usual enemies of the world (oil, coal, Dallas Cowboys fans) you can give The Simpsons some credit here.

There's a semi-plausible theory that their portrayal of nuclear power has helped create a negative impression on the public.

Have they announced when the public can watch this masterpiece?

(Not being sarcastic. I am beyond excited to see it.)

And the clock is ticking. 15 minutes seems reasonable.

I would pay $100 right now to put Trump in a grocery store with one simple goal: buy a box cake mix and the ingredients required then use self-checkout

Is *that* what that picture was? The people nominated after the first round all said "Nah, I'm good."

Is that what he has now instead of the Correspondent's Dinner? An evening where everyone competes to see who can fawn over him the hardest?

The only person I know of who likes it had....issues.

That should probably be a clue.