Lauren hates everything
@lmirabell.bsky.social
Doesn’t know how to act around warm bread.
She/Her
35/F/MA
She/Her
35/F/MA
Reposted by Lauren hates everything
I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes
March 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM
I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes
Girl Dinner
February 13, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Girl Dinner
*Flight Attendant after I’ve asked for my third cocktail*: “Just so you know, ma’am, one drink in the air is equivalent to two on the ground.”
Me: “Oh yes, I’m counting on it with my budget.”
Me: “Oh yes, I’m counting on it with my budget.”
January 10, 2025 at 5:08 PM
*Flight Attendant after I’ve asked for my third cocktail*: “Just so you know, ma’am, one drink in the air is equivalent to two on the ground.”
Me: “Oh yes, I’m counting on it with my budget.”
Me: “Oh yes, I’m counting on it with my budget.”
“Can we do 18 separate checks?”
Can you fuck right off?
Can you fuck right off?
December 19, 2024 at 9:26 PM
“Can we do 18 separate checks?”
Can you fuck right off?
Can you fuck right off?
Happy #SpotifyWrapped Day to all who celebrate
December 4, 2024 at 3:37 PM
Happy #SpotifyWrapped Day to all who celebrate
My guy won $6,500 in Vegas last night and I was debating this morning of putting $10 or $15 in my Dunkin’ account so I wouldn’t overdraft; this is why I was meant to be a Casino Girlfriend
November 22, 2024 at 3:53 PM
My guy won $6,500 in Vegas last night and I was debating this morning of putting $10 or $15 in my Dunkin’ account so I wouldn’t overdraft; this is why I was meant to be a Casino Girlfriend
Reposted by Lauren hates everything
I don’t want to girl boss anymore. I want to spend 13 hours in Stardew Valley like a gremlin and ignore ✨everyone✨
November 19, 2024 at 12:07 AM
I don’t want to girl boss anymore. I want to spend 13 hours in Stardew Valley like a gremlin and ignore ✨everyone✨
Finished three loads of laundry today on a singular Diet Coke and a lot of weed because I’m built different
November 12, 2024 at 2:04 AM
Finished three loads of laundry today on a singular Diet Coke and a lot of weed because I’m built different
Reposted by Lauren hates everything
Sex? With a man? IN THIS ECONOMY?!
November 8, 2024 at 4:32 AM
Sex? With a man? IN THIS ECONOMY?!
Reposted by Lauren hates everything
no thoughts just stardew valley
November 7, 2024 at 12:56 AM
no thoughts just stardew valley
Absolutely phenomenal how one inept customer can completely derail the Dunkin’ drive-thru
December 23, 2023 at 3:51 PM
Absolutely phenomenal how one inept customer can completely derail the Dunkin’ drive-thru
Will never understand the urge white people over the age of 50 have at a restaurant to answer me greeting them “Hi, How are you?” with “I’M WAITING FOR SOMEONE!” Yes, Linda, I can see that; you’re one person with five menus in front of them I’m not fucking blind
December 2, 2023 at 4:54 PM
Will never understand the urge white people over the age of 50 have at a restaurant to answer me greeting them “Hi, How are you?” with “I’M WAITING FOR SOMEONE!” Yes, Linda, I can see that; you’re one person with five menus in front of them I’m not fucking blind
Happy #SpotifyWrapped Day to all who celebrate (I’d rather see this than your baby)
November 29, 2023 at 3:27 PM
Happy #SpotifyWrapped Day to all who celebrate (I’d rather see this than your baby)
So excited to start this new social media nightmare
November 8, 2023 at 4:30 AM
So excited to start this new social media nightmare