Amy
@lolennui.bsky.social
62K followers 950 following 3.6K posts
contributing features and headlines @ the onion amyash.me
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lolennui.bsky.social
It’s always so obvious that Pam Bondi would rather be yelling at a waiter than doing whatever she’s doing
Reposted by Amy
bencollins.bsky.social
Folks, it's happening.

We're releasing Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile this Thursday at 7 p.m.

Mark your calendars. Get excited to know even less about Jeffrey Epstein.
The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein
YouTube video by The Onion
www.youtube.com
lolennui.bsky.social
George Orwell’s Animal Crossing
Someone in a frog costume facing down a line of police in riot gear
Reposted by Amy
viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Writing for theonion.com has been a dream of mine for a long time and it finally came true! Two of my jokes are in the latest issue. Still waiting to hear if I 'passed' my trial, but either way I'm thrilled and honored to be published by the best humor site/newspaper on Earth
lolennui.bsky.social
Congratulations to the moon and back!!!
lolennui.bsky.social
All is not lost, tomorrow you wake up and probably get to eat oats. Perhaps an egg. The possibilities are endless.
lolennui.bsky.social
Bari Weiss has hired me as a sensitivity reader to identify how to make publications more racist
lolennui.bsky.social
No. Your middle name shouldn’t be Corey
Wikipedia: 

Jared Corey Kushner (born January 10, 1981) is an American businessman and investor. He is a son-in-law of the president of the United States, Donald Trump, through his marriage to Ivanka Trump and served as a senior advisor in his father-in-law's first administration from 2017 to 2021. He was also director of the Office of American Innovation.
lolennui.bsky.social
go ahead, make this place worse!! I’ll only post harder
lolennui.bsky.social
but buuut he went to Harvard
lolennui.bsky.social
hey man I know the genocide in Gaza is a horror so vast and sickening it’s difficult to fathom let alone behold but at least they’ve got Jared Kushner on it
lolennui.bsky.social
banksy you’ve done it again
lolennui.bsky.social
wow really make u think
Trump making a statement in the white house broadcast by CNN but the picture is all glitchy and fucked up
lolennui.bsky.social
I applaud Stephen miller for choosing to be in the public eye despite having permanent “about to cry” voice
Reposted by Amy
moryan.bsky.social
I went to the Broadview ICE detention center this afternoon/evening. The first 2 hours were pretty quiet. Several dozen protesters & occasionally some Fascism Enjoyers who shouted things but mostly lowkey. But then a violent Christofascist biker rolled up & that was not good. Everyone is OK. Thread:
lolennui.bsky.social
we used to be a real country
Steve Irwin pinning Conan O’Brien to the ground in a video called “Steve Irwin Wrestles Conan | Late Night with Conan O'Brien”
lolennui.bsky.social
I don’t know what the math is here exactly but it should definitely be studied
lolennui.bsky.social
I think Noah Wyle is hot but some of my friends are beside themselves with thirst. They have lost language and faculties. They are howling at the moon, long desperate for a sorta craggy man without a podcast.
Reposted by Amy
ghostpanther.bsky.social
My groin “is not a good place now” since that guy put a pit viper in my pants.
justinbaragona.bsky.social
NEW from me:

Several CBS News staffers and insiders told me that the network "is not a good place now" amid the imminent arrival of Bari Weiss as editor-in-chief, who one source likened to Michael Scott of The Office based on her lack of qualifications.

www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
CBS News staffers are ‘literally freaking out’ about Bari Weiss taking over newsroom
EXCLUSIVE: ‘People are using words like depressing and doomsday – feels like some sort of doomsday,’ one source told The Independent about the mood inside CBS News right now.
www.the-independent.com
lolennui.bsky.social
bluesky please don’t implode, I refuse to try any more new things
Reposted by Amy
katie.bzky.team
it might sound crazy but i actually really like bluesky and enjoy my time here and would like it to be a successful sustainable platform
lolennui.bsky.social
cmon man I can’t face mastodon again
Reposted by Amy
roadside.xor.blue
dinosaur village rv mobile home park, dinosaur statue head detail, route 40, jensen, utah, 1991
dinosaur village rv mobile home park, dinosaur statue head detail, route 40, jensen, utah, 1991