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Mara

@lordxelizor.bsky.social

180 followers 370 following 1.4K posts

Your least favorite baseball account’s least favorite baseball account Professional recidivism speedrunner #RepBX 🗽 #GoPackGo 🧀 #RipCity 🌹 #GoGators 🐊 #CelticFC ☘️ #Bohs 🔴⚫️ #VamosRayo ⚡️ #TodoUnPueblo 🇵🇸

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Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 8h

I've only heard of the band 30 Seconds to Mars in the context of jokes about people thinking that's how long it takes to get to the planet

But it's the Jared Leto band? fuck that fucking band jfc

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 9h

Always surprised when large portions of the internet have the opposite opinion of me on a piece of media when I haven't gone out of my way to be contrarian and I really shouldn't be surprised and yet

Just goes to show I have and will always continue to have strange opinions

Schooley @schooley.bsky.social · 10h

Finally watched John Oliver on Bari Weiss. That felt cathartically personal.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 10h

Jon Snow was named after his dad's boyfriend btw

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 11h

When I was in jail, I couldn’t call anybody in town to let them know anything because the only numbers I know are my parents’

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 15h

Opened up the twitter account I used for ASOIAF shit and was immediately reminded why nobody there likes me. I don't think there's such thing as a rightful king (it would be Catelyn if such a thing existed but they're not ready for that convo), the starks aren't good guys, and I actually read AFFC

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 20h

If you can shoot a zombie you can 100% kill it by dropping a rock on its head from on top of a wall. And guess which one is less of a drain on resources and theoretically infinitely reusable and absolutely everywhere?

I want slings in my zombie movies please

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 20h

Where tf are people getting all the bullets in zombie shows?

Like surely you have to go to slings pretty fast cuz bullets would become rare relatively quickly. Ten years out from the apocalypse, you should be using like at least 90% medieval tactics no?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 20h

And why tf do they use knives aka the only weapon where you have to get fully into biting range for it to be useful? Where are the polearms? Surely a knife on a long stick is safer than a knife in the hand. Gimme a zombie thing where the main character has a massive sword they use for area control

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 20h

I’m mostly mad that there’s no ditch and only one layer of wall around Jackson in The Last of Us show. You should have holes and then drop big rocks into those holes once the zombies fall in. Also boiling water would probably help. Save the bullets for when they’re far or inside the walls

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 20h

Where tf are people getting all the bullets in zombie shows?

Like surely you have to go to slings pretty fast cuz bullets would become rare relatively quickly. Ten years out from the apocalypse, you should be using like at least 90% medieval tactics no?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 21h

Those pedos who are like "I didn't know she wasn't 18" are the most full of shit people have ever been. Anybody with two functioning brain cells could clock a 17 year old at a bar as out of place. Idk if they're trying to delude themselves or what but mf you are a creep gfys

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 21h

The only convincing way to write adolescent characters in fiction is to make them absolute dorks. There is no such thing as a cool high schooler. The most damning sign of the apocalypse would be if a teenager ever said the right thing in any context.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 21h

Yes I'm watching the new episode of task and grieving the loss of my goat Lizzie and then this scene with Emily and the kid from her ice cream job and it's just the least cool two people have ever been and I was just like "these are well written children"

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 21h

The only convincing way to write adolescent characters in fiction is to make them absolute dorks. There is no such thing as a cool high schooler. The most damning sign of the apocalypse would be if a teenager ever said the right thing in any context.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 23h

John Oliver does basically the dressed up version of that one tweet that's like "twitter is where you make up a guy and then get mad at that guy" or whatever it is like multiple times and episode

And it's just completely unrelated to the topic and not funny and I don't get why he keeps doing it

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 23h

Watched my first episode of Last Week Tonight since I was in middle school and it's exactly the same in the worst way possible.

I was just like "lemme see someone make fun of Bari Weiss even more" and instead I got literally the same 5 jokes his staff has been using for a decade

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 23h

I understand that like he's about as left wing as someone can be on a major american television network and he has generally well informed opinions but I just wish there was some creativity in the format. Like we all know late night shows are boring but I'd forgetten that Oliver wasn't exempt

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 23h

Watched my first episode of Last Week Tonight since I was in middle school and it's exactly the same in the worst way possible.

I was just like "lemme see someone make fun of Bari Weiss even more" and instead I got literally the same 5 jokes his staff has been using for a decade

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Has there ever been a year where the Ravens and 49ers haven't been injured to shit?

I feel like it keeps happening with those two teams specifically over the past few seasons. At what point is it not an issue of luck anymore?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

I think there’s still a world where he can get over the hump and become like a top 5-7 guy but it’ll be hard to get over the urban Meyer of it all ya know

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

His arm talent, his processing as a pocket passer, and his athleticism have all been like at least 90% as advertised but he’s so inconsistent when the play breaks down (not helped by the fact that the rest of the offense makes that happen a lot) that none of his best traits can shine

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Honestly I think his cognitive development was tanked by awful coaching for most of his pro career. Today’s pro QBs need to adapt and improvise and people assumed that he’d become at least decent at that but he hasn’t been able to grow in that department

Reposted by Mara

Casey Explosion @caseyexplosion.bsky.social · 2d

Bootlegger rats running a squeakeasy

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

I didn't watch Indiana Oregon but from the stats and ten minute highlights, that hoosier front seven looks like maybe the best in football. 6 sacks, 8 TFLs, under 100 rushing yards. Great stuff

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Whoever has access to this costume HAS to take it on a joy ride down to the ice facility in the coming weeks

Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 2d

Thinking about him today

Humpy

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

The real question is how much money am I willing to spend on paying etsy witches to curse Pam Bondi?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

The asexual walk of shame. It’s the same as the normal walk of shame except you were sleeping on a friend’s couch cuz you were too drunk to walk home

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 3d

TOMMMMMYYYYYY NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOO TOMMMMMYYYYY AAAAAAAAA