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Mara

@lordxelizor.bsky.social

180 followers 370 following 1.4K posts

Your least favorite baseball account’s least favorite baseball account Professional recidivism speedrunner #RepBX 🗽 #GoPackGo 🧀 #RipCity 🌹 #GoGators 🐊 #CelticFC ☘️ #Bohs 🔴⚫️ #VamosRayo ⚡️ #TodoUnPueblo 🇵🇸

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Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 11h

TOMMMMMYYYYYY NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOO TOMMMMMYYYYY AAAAAAAAA

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 11h

Man that Bazardo fastball he throws at 97 with great armside movement perfectly located on the bottom corner is maybe the nastiest pitch of the season and he got back to back Ks on it

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 14h

Bro they really did my goat Bugsy dirty in Boardwalk Empire

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Rip Al Capone. He would've loved tiktok

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Now they're never gonna wear the powder blue again :(

CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 1d

Absolutely brutal way for the Phillies to lose, Dodgers win the series

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

I had a couple of good plays today. Hit a couple shots after getting open with solid off ball movement, made a great entry pass for an assist, grabbed a few boards on box outs, and had a couple of blocks in help defense in my 15 minutes of play. Better than my usual performance that's for sure

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

Kid tried to shoot the ball again after I blocked his shot without the ball leaving his hand and I'm just like "no that's either an up and down or I had possession and its a jump ball" and he laughed at me. Bitch, I'm right. That's how the travel rule works. Don't just assume I'm wrong.

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 1d

It's crazy that because I'm unathletic and femme, men just assume I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to sports. Maybe being able to drive to the basket or hit the occasional open three doesn't actually grant you supernatural knowledge of the NBA rulebook.

Reposted by Mara

Dan Szymborski @dszymborski.fangraphs.com · 2d

I do hope the Phillies take the hint and just keep wearing the powder-blue-and-maroon as the primary uniform for now on.

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Reposted by Mara

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · Aug 19

Every month I google "what happened to Wil Wheaton?" just in case my prayers have been answered

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Wow god really hates us lesbians huh? We can't have anything nice.

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 2d

The New York Yankees have been eliminated on International Lesbian Day

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Look I know I'm not allowed to release the name of the Bortac guy that arrested me but can I dress up as him for halloween?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Officer I'm sorry for stealing. I just acquired a taste for the finer things in life (playing block blast instead of doing my mountains of homework)

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Judge seemed annoyed at me the whole time but idt it made much of a difference tbh

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

what victims? the sidewalk I sat on? The ICE van that had to wait an hour to leave the facility? They dribbled my head like a basketball but I'm the issue ig fml

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Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

eh. got all the mandatory and standard conditions that apply. Was about what I was expecting. My PO asked me to fill out a bunch of forms today and they're all clearly designed for people who stole or sold drugs cuz the questions are like how I feel about the victims of my crimes and it's just like

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Me when my PO says I can't have weed for the next 12 months

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 2d

this is how a lot of people talk about sobriety

ESPN headline: Iverson discusses sobriety, lowest point in life

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

My probation officer is coming over later

Quick everybody hide their drugs in the replies

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

I look like I'm in the secret service

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Wearing a suit jacket to class cuz I have my sentencing hearing this afternoon and getting many weird looks on my liberal arts campus

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

We should bring back gay people. Where'd they go?

Reposted by Mara

Eephus Tosser @eephustosser.bsky.social · 3d

Imagining the Texas National Guardsmen writing teary heart-felt letters to their sweethearts back home the first time they encounter the strange phenomenon of "pedestrians."

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Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 2d

Wearing a suit jacket to class cuz I have my sentencing hearing this afternoon and getting many weird looks on my liberal arts campus

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 3d

Didn't these people learn that headshots don't count when they played with nerf guns as kids?

Mara @lordxelizor.bsky.social · 3d

Lmao how am I just now realizing how incredibly Gen Z it was that the only two people I could call from jail were my mom and my dad because besides my own number, those are the only two numbers I know?