Parody Prophet
@magabibble.bsky.social
Creator of the MAGA Bibble — complimentary copies available
Delivering scripture-style satire for the modern age.
Sounds sacred. Means trouble.
Reading the canon out loud so you don’t have to pretend it isn’t familiar.
Delivering scripture-style satire for the modern age.
Sounds sacred. Means trouble.
Reading the canon out loud so you don’t have to pretend it isn’t familiar.
War as distraction. Oil as incentive. “National interest” as cover.
This isn’t foreign policy — it’s a rerun of the oldest scam in history, with higher stakes and fewer guardrails.
This isn’t foreign policy — it’s a rerun of the oldest scam in history, with higher stakes and fewer guardrails.
January 5, 2026 at 12:22 AM
War as distraction. Oil as incentive. “National interest” as cover.
This isn’t foreign policy — it’s a rerun of the oldest scam in history, with higher stakes and fewer guardrails.
This isn’t foreign policy — it’s a rerun of the oldest scam in history, with higher stakes and fewer guardrails.
This is how authoritarian language works: label people as criminals, hint at violence, then pretend it’s “tough talk.” Threats from a U.S. president aren’t rhetoric—they’re signals. And the silence from Congress is the most alarming part.
January 5, 2026 at 12:21 AM
This is how authoritarian language works: label people as criminals, hint at violence, then pretend it’s “tough talk.” Threats from a U.S. president aren’t rhetoric—they’re signals. And the silence from Congress is the most alarming part.
Calling him “insane” lets Congress off the hook. This isn’t about temperament—it’s about unchecked power. Congress exists to assert authority over war, spending, and oversight. If they don’t act, the danger isn’t one man. It’s a system choosing silence.
January 5, 2026 at 12:20 AM
Calling him “insane” lets Congress off the hook. This isn’t about temperament—it’s about unchecked power. Congress exists to assert authority over war, spending, and oversight. If they don’t act, the danger isn’t one man. It’s a system choosing silence.
I get the disbelief. What keeps me grounded is sticking to evidence, institutions, and outcomes—even when the results are infuriating. The danger isn’t trusting nothing; it’s deciding facts no longer matter at all. That’s exactly how accountability collapses.
January 4, 2026 at 11:58 PM
I get the disbelief. What keeps me grounded is sticking to evidence, institutions, and outcomes—even when the results are infuriating. The danger isn’t trusting nothing; it’s deciding facts no longer matter at all. That’s exactly how accountability collapses.
“When rulers lose the favor of their people,
they seek dominion elsewhere—
mistaking distance for distraction.”
they seek dominion elsewhere—
mistaking distance for distraction.”
January 3, 2026 at 7:54 PM
“When rulers lose the favor of their people,
they seek dominion elsewhere—
mistaking distance for distraction.”
they seek dominion elsewhere—
mistaking distance for distraction.”
“And the rulers said unto the watchers, ‘Peace.’
Yet they sharpened the knives beneath the table.
Thus were the people briefed… and thus were they deceived.”
Yet they sharpened the knives beneath the table.
Thus were the people briefed… and thus were they deceived.”
January 3, 2026 at 7:52 PM
“And the rulers said unto the watchers, ‘Peace.’
Yet they sharpened the knives beneath the table.
Thus were the people briefed… and thus were they deceived.”
Yet they sharpened the knives beneath the table.
Thus were the people briefed… and thus were they deceived.”
And the people cried, “Change the throne,”
yet the throne was empty, for the rot was in the halls.
— Structures 7:3
yet the throne was empty, for the rot was in the halls.
— Structures 7:3
January 3, 2026 at 7:49 PM
And the people cried, “Change the throne,”
yet the throne was empty, for the rot was in the halls.
— Structures 7:3
yet the throne was empty, for the rot was in the halls.
— Structures 7:3
And the Leader cried, “Remember what they have done,”
for memory was his greatest fear.
— Projections 3:7
for memory was his greatest fear.
— Projections 3:7
January 3, 2026 at 3:16 AM
And the Leader cried, “Remember what they have done,”
for memory was his greatest fear.
— Projections 3:7
for memory was his greatest fear.
— Projections 3:7
And they cried for truth,
yet hid the scrolls lest the names be known.
— Redactions 6:12
yet hid the scrolls lest the names be known.
— Redactions 6:12
January 3, 2026 at 3:14 AM
And they cried for truth,
yet hid the scrolls lest the names be known.
— Redactions 6:12
yet hid the scrolls lest the names be known.
— Redactions 6:12
“Replacement” is a slogan, not a statistic.
Demographics change. Democracies adapt.
Authoritarian movements panic.
Demographics change. Democracies adapt.
Authoritarian movements panic.
January 2, 2026 at 11:32 PM
“Replacement” is a slogan, not a statistic.
Demographics change. Democracies adapt.
Authoritarian movements panic.
Demographics change. Democracies adapt.
Authoritarian movements panic.
And they cried, “Investigate, investigate!”
But only where no evidence dwelt.
— Selective Outrage 6:2
But only where no evidence dwelt.
— Selective Outrage 6:2
January 2, 2026 at 11:30 PM
And they cried, “Investigate, investigate!”
But only where no evidence dwelt.
— Selective Outrage 6:2
But only where no evidence dwelt.
— Selective Outrage 6:2
And the Leader proclaimed himself sound of mind,
for the physicians he appointed found no fault within him.
— Self-Assessments 3:16
for the physicians he appointed found no fault within him.
— Self-Assessments 3:16
January 2, 2026 at 11:28 PM
And the Leader proclaimed himself sound of mind,
for the physicians he appointed found no fault within him.
— Self-Assessments 3:16
for the physicians he appointed found no fault within him.
— Self-Assessments 3:16
And the Leader asked, “Why not fire upon them?”
Then later said, “How could anyone do such a thing?”
— Conveniences 7:4
Then later said, “How could anyone do such a thing?”
— Conveniences 7:4
January 2, 2026 at 11:26 PM
And the Leader asked, “Why not fire upon them?”
Then later said, “How could anyone do such a thing?”
— Conveniences 7:4
Then later said, “How could anyone do such a thing?”
— Conveniences 7:4
And they said unto the poor,
‘Be grateful, for thou hast been briefly glanced at.’
— Triage 3:16
‘Be grateful, for thou hast been briefly glanced at.’
— Triage 3:16
January 2, 2026 at 11:22 PM
And they said unto the poor,
‘Be grateful, for thou hast been briefly glanced at.’
— Triage 3:16
‘Be grateful, for thou hast been briefly glanced at.’
— Triage 3:16
And the liar departed the city,
for truth had returned and rent was due.
— Exodish 1:1, MAGA Bibble
for truth had returned and rent was due.
— Exodish 1:1, MAGA Bibble
January 2, 2026 at 11:19 PM
And the liar departed the city,
for truth had returned and rent was due.
— Exodish 1:1, MAGA Bibble
for truth had returned and rent was due.
— Exodish 1:1, MAGA Bibble
And Death stood patiently behind him,
for even the proud must finish their lunch.
— Endings 45:47, MAGA Bibble
for even the proud must finish their lunch.
— Endings 45:47, MAGA Bibble
January 2, 2026 at 10:29 PM
And Death stood patiently behind him,
for even the proud must finish their lunch.
— Endings 45:47, MAGA Bibble
for even the proud must finish their lunch.
— Endings 45:47, MAGA Bibble
And they cried, “Burn it all down,”
yet forgot they lived within the walls.
— Consequences 3:16, MAGA Bibble
yet forgot they lived within the walls.
— Consequences 3:16, MAGA Bibble
January 2, 2026 at 10:26 PM
And they cried, “Burn it all down,”
yet forgot they lived within the walls.
— Consequences 3:16, MAGA Bibble
yet forgot they lived within the walls.
— Consequences 3:16, MAGA Bibble
And the people said, “It was a hoax,”
until the hoax required
four hundred lawyers
and five million pages.
— Revelations of Process 7:3, MAGA Bibble
until the hoax required
four hundred lawyers
and five million pages.
— Revelations of Process 7:3, MAGA Bibble
January 2, 2026 at 10:22 PM
And the people said, “It was a hoax,”
until the hoax required
four hundred lawyers
and five million pages.
— Revelations of Process 7:3, MAGA Bibble
until the hoax required
four hundred lawyers
and five million pages.
— Revelations of Process 7:3, MAGA Bibble