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malakim2099.bsky.social
malakim2099
@malakim2099.bsky.social
910 followers 530 following 8.7K posts
Magic the Gathering/EDH enthusiast, also big on RPGs and other games digital and analog, formerly SJWReaper at the Hellbirb.

In a Country Full of Charlie Kirks? Be A James T Kirk.

Bi. They/them. Nihilistic optimist.
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malakim2099.bsky.social
I don't believe this is actually Cyanide and Happiness, but it's copying their style anyway... Panel 1: A man has conjured a genie from a lamp. The genie says, "I am the genie of the lamp. You have 3 wishes." Panel 2: The man says, "I wish everyone against abortion wakes up 7 weeks pregnant." Panel 3: The genie responds, "Oh fuck, that's a good one. Damn." Panel 4: The genie says, "You still have three wishes. That one's on me."
December 9, 2025 at 1:24 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Jumbo print playing cards of the Ace of Spades, Queen of Hearts, and Ten of Clubs.
December 9, 2025 at 1:06 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Also can I suggest themed secret tech?
Decimator Web 4 Artifact 4, T: Target opponent loses 2 life, gets a poison counter, then puts the top six cards of their library into their graveyard. "Mycosynth grew unfettered beneath the black lacuna, metastasizing into a matrix of noxious energy."
December 5, 2025 at 7:08 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Admittedly my thought was more Jack Nicholson from Batman 89.

"Tezzie... you'll never believe what happened to me today."
A shot from Batman 1989 where Jack Nicholson as the Joker is waiting for his girlfriend on the couch, but with Nicol Bolas' head photoshopped on instead. "Tezzie... you'll never believe what happened to me today."
December 3, 2025 at 12:35 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Gonna go with my girl Eshki. She is a frightening commander that takes no grief.
Eshki, Temur's Roar GUR Legendary Creature - Human Warrior Whenever you cast a creature spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Eshki. If that spell's power is 4 or greater, draw a card. If that spell's power is 6 or greater, Eshki deals damage equal to Eshki's power to each opponent. 2/2 Temur Ascendancy GUR Enchantment Creatures you control have haste. Whenever a creature you control with power 4 or greater enters, you may draw a card. Temur Battlecrier GUR Creature - Orc Ranger During your turn, spells you cast cost 1 generic mana less to cast for each creature you control of power 4 or greater. "When called to the land's defense, all come to protect their shared home. It's why many of the Temur use "family" and "herd" interchangeably." 4/3
December 2, 2025 at 3:51 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
A post from classically-lit-memes4u: RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but I'm different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.
December 1, 2025 at 8:47 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
If you think a liberal is a right winger, I daresay they aren't the "dumb fucks."
Some mouth breather named Bizcaz skeeting, "Holy shit. Libs, do not follow me. You are right wingers. I will block you, dumb fucks." Not sure why they are so worried about it lol.
December 1, 2025 at 7:57 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Now I want to use this art to alter my Gladiolus Magic card.

Yes, he's a Magic card now.
Gladiolus Amicitia 4RG Legendary Creature - Human Warrior When Gladiolus Amicitia enters, search your library for a land card, put it on the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Landfall - Whenever a land you control enters, another target creature you control gets +2/+2 and gains trample until end of turn. "Guard the king with our lives - that's the way it's always been." 6/6
November 29, 2025 at 12:42 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Probably should change this meme to "what not-democratic socialists think democratic socialism is" tbh.
A photo of Stalin with the caption, "What conservatives think democratic socialism is," next to a photo of FDR with the caption, "What It Really Is." Though at this point I think anyone but a democratic socialist thinks that...
November 29, 2025 at 12:35 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
NOT IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT COMMANDER!
The Snapstone Wielder WUBRG Legendary Creature - Human Gamer If The Snapstone Wielder is your commander and your deck contains no land cards, your starting hand size is four and for the rest of the game, at the beginning of your upkeep, you get a mana counter. During each of your turns, you can spend mana of any color equal to the number of mana counters you have. (You want mana on opponent's turns, you're on your own. Who needs instant speed interactions?) Whenever the Snapstone Wielder enters or attacks, cast a random nonland Magic card without paying its mana cost. If it has targets, choose targets at random. 5/5 Ben Brode's Playtest Card
November 28, 2025 at 4:10 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
It explains a lot
Made in a kitchen that uses and contains traces of the major allergens.
November 28, 2025 at 2:48 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Know your Rights! Interacting with Isaac Chotiner? * "Am I being profiled?" * "I exercise my right to be silent." * Refuse to sign any statements. * Do NOT offer express invitation to investigate further.
November 26, 2025 at 12:19 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Two panels from a recent Avengers comic focused on Janet Van Dyne. The context is she and Victor Shade think that Moon Knight (dressed as Mr. Knight) think he killed a villain. Panel 1: Victor Shade glowers at MK, "Maybe if you did it that way, nobody would know it was you." Moon Knight replies, "True. But if I did it that way, no one would know it was me." Panel 2 has the same exact art as Victor just stares at Moon Knight while MK says, "What?"
November 23, 2025 at 11:41 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight!
We would especially like to welcome all the members of the Illinois State Law Enforcement Community who have decided to show up at the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time!
Pope Leo speaking into a microphone as the crowd looks on.
November 23, 2025 at 4:02 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Art: Elspeth, Storm Slayer
Flavor: Terrasymbiosis - Advancement is found in the collision of chaos and order.
Elspeth, Storm Slayer 3WW Legendary Planeswalker - Elspeth If one or more tokens would be created under your control, twice that many tokens are created instead. +1: Create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token 0: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control. Those creatures gain flying until your next turn. -3: Destroy target creature an opponent controls with mana value 3 or greater. Starting Loyalty: 5 Terrasymbiosis 2G Enchantment Whenever you put one or more +1/+1 counters on a creature you control, you may draw that many cards. Do this only once each turn. "Advancement is found in the collision of chaos and order."
November 22, 2025 at 4:27 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Since I can't sleep at 3am, you all get random memes I created.
A meme showing Carl Weathers (House Atreides) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (Word of Blake) doing the Predator handshake (Getting Off On Jihads). For the twelve folks that are fans of both Dune AND Battletech I suppose...
November 21, 2025 at 8:59 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
And the blinging has BEGUN. Fortunately I could transfer the stickers from the old Game Castle to the new one...
Front view of a Gamegenic Game Castle with various stickers from EDHijinks, ZBexx, TronIsBad, CloverAlters (aka TSFMaddy), MagicCon Vegas, Infinitokens, an Eldrazi Scion, a cat proclaiming themselves the LOOT GOBLIN, and lastly, a sticker that simply states: "If it plays like Bracket 4, IT IS."
November 21, 2025 at 12:35 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
After four months of emails and back and forth, IT HAS ARRIVED.

Special shoutout to @cloveralters.spikefeeders.com and the other Spikes to help do whatever Canadian magic they did to get this done.
A picture of a Gamegenic Game Castle, the Trans Pride colors. Or Miami Vice, or both! White with pink/teal trim.
November 20, 2025 at 8:34 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
What perfect album came out when you were 16?

Well, I mean, is there any other option?
Disintegration by the Cure
November 18, 2025 at 2:44 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Gotta go with the OG, just chilling in his library.
Nicol Bolas 2UUBBRR Legendary Creature - Elder Dragon Flying An opponent damaged by Nicol Bolas must discard their entire hand. Ignore this effect if an opponent has no cards left in hand. Pay UBR during your upkeep or sacrifice Nicol Bolas. 7/7 This is the original Legends printing
November 16, 2025 at 6:07 AM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Well...
Data running a D&D campaign for Beverly Crusher, Captain Sisko, and Shax. Spot is lounging on the map. Data still running the campaign despite Shax being a terror of a rogue lol
November 14, 2025 at 11:50 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
IT'S FIVE DROP FRIDAY!

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!
An alter of the Infinite Guideline Station to look like Sovereign from Mass Effect. It's a WUBRG Station with a 7/15 stat line. Alter done by TSFMaddy.
November 14, 2025 at 8:52 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Are you SURE that's the Avatar...?
The flip side of Thing in the Ice, which is Awoken Horror... But with a picture of Mariah Carey in her Christmas outfit, preparing to give you the Holiday Spirit whether you want it or not.
November 11, 2025 at 7:37 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
Well, they lost fucking Cillizza.
A tweet from perennial loser Chris Cillizza, where he says: The Democratic base clearly does NOT want Senate Democrats to do this deal and re-open the government. And yet - they are going to do this deal. Not listening to your base is a very interesting choice - especially days after your base delivers you a giant win. Something something broken clock here, ffs.
November 10, 2025 at 12:06 PM
malakim2099.bsky.social
How would Iroh feel about Nuka Cola?
Nuka-Cola Vending Machine 3 Artifact 1, T: Create a food token Whenever you sacrifice a food token, create a tapped Treasure token.
November 6, 2025 at 1:38 AM