Malone
@maydaymalone.com
I am ultraviolet. You are infrared
June 19, 2025 at 11:03 AM
I am ultraviolet. You are infrared
I swim in the med the same way you sip your cappuccino
June 19, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I swim in the med the same way you sip your cappuccino
Hug your baseballs today. They’re about to get mashed
March 27, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Hug your baseballs today. They’re about to get mashed
How can we have robot umpires when we still haven’t solved robot anxiety? What happens when they botch a strike call?
February 22, 2025 at 1:34 PM
How can we have robot umpires when we still haven’t solved robot anxiety? What happens when they botch a strike call?
Normalize queso with breakfast
February 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Normalize queso with breakfast
The great thing about Apple shows is they ask you to trust them. Usually they fail, but there’s a redeeming quality that’s missing on something like NBC
February 8, 2025 at 4:36 AM
The great thing about Apple shows is they ask you to trust them. Usually they fail, but there’s a redeeming quality that’s missing on something like NBC
When people on tv do coke then rub it on their gums it always makes me wonder if there shouldn’t be toothbrushes on set. Come on Hollywood. Oral health is wealth!
February 7, 2025 at 2:40 AM
When people on tv do coke then rub it on their gums it always makes me wonder if there shouldn’t be toothbrushes on set. Come on Hollywood. Oral health is wealth!
Slip slide and take a ride
February 6, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Slip slide and take a ride
People ask all the time, “are you listening to me?”
February 4, 2025 at 1:51 AM
People ask all the time, “are you listening to me?”
Reposted by Malone
Are we allowed to say biweekly anymore or are they taking that away too?
February 2, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Are we allowed to say biweekly anymore or are they taking that away too?
Getting a face tattoo is like saying “I want to go to Australia”
February 3, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Getting a face tattoo is like saying “I want to go to Australia”
Don’t ever order a dirty gin martini with chorizo nachos
February 2, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Don’t ever order a dirty gin martini with chorizo nachos
Have you been to the internet lately?
February 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Have you been to the internet lately?
Has anyone watched Star Wars? Is it good?
February 1, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Has anyone watched Star Wars? Is it good?
A raccoon chasing a hot dog
February 1, 2025 at 2:21 AM
A raccoon chasing a hot dog
It’s fastball Friday. Get loose boys. The call is coming from inside the bullpen
January 31, 2025 at 2:17 PM
It’s fastball Friday. Get loose boys. The call is coming from inside the bullpen
The part of Love Island that gets me the most turned up is summer temperature
January 28, 2025 at 1:03 AM
The part of Love Island that gets me the most turned up is summer temperature
Is this the first time in 20 weeks KC’s offense looks good?
January 26, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Is this the first time in 20 weeks KC’s offense looks good?
I feel like I told Washington about Saquon. You can lead a Commie to water…
January 26, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I feel like I told Washington about Saquon. You can lead a Commie to water…
Props to Luvu. If you want to do a penalty then get your money’s worth
January 26, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Props to Luvu. If you want to do a penalty then get your money’s worth
If I was Washington I’d stop fumbling
January 26, 2025 at 10:42 PM
If I was Washington I’d stop fumbling
If I were Washington I would trade for Saquon at halftime. Then you would have Saquon, and as an extra bonus Philly wouldn’t
January 26, 2025 at 9:42 PM
If I were Washington I would trade for Saquon at halftime. Then you would have Saquon, and as an extra bonus Philly wouldn’t