Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
@bourbonteddy.bsky.social
⚖️ 🥃 🎶 🤣 📸 🤷🏾♂️
Pinned
On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
Back at the spa for a massage and when I laid down she told me to "breathe in and clean my mind."
No es posible señora.
No es posible señora.
Reflexively used the term “Chinese wall” recently. Immediately said “I am so sorry there’s probably a non-troglodyte way of saying that” - and then I had to explain two things.
February 15, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Reflexively used the term “Chinese wall” recently. Immediately said “I am so sorry there’s probably a non-troglodyte way of saying that” - and then I had to explain two things.
I feel like confusing a balloon with a drone and then shooting at it would get you drug tested at a warehouse job.
February 12, 2026 at 5:41 PM
I feel like confusing a balloon with a drone and then shooting at it would get you drug tested at a warehouse job.
Even he couldn't stand to watch the TPUSA halftime show.
February 9, 2026 at 11:58 AM
Even he couldn't stand to watch the TPUSA halftime show.
In my head I keep pronouncing the TPUSA halftime show like King Julien talking about the foosa.
February 3, 2026 at 3:28 PM
In my head I keep pronouncing the TPUSA halftime show like King Julien talking about the foosa.
FedEx just sent me a text notifying me that even though my package is delayed it will arrive by 1/29.
January 31, 2026 at 1:02 PM
FedEx just sent me a text notifying me that even though my package is delayed it will arrive by 1/29.
Five Classes I took in College:
Modern Political Thought
Human Sexuality
Medieval History
Criminological Research Methods
Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
Modern Political Thought
Human Sexuality
Medieval History
Criminological Research Methods
Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
Five Classes I took in College:
Slavery in New York
Introduction to Popular Culture
Drugs, Brain, and Behavior
The Soul in Dostoyevsky, Kierkegaard, and Nietzsche
Preparation for Algebra I (Remedial)
Slavery in New York
Introduction to Popular Culture
Drugs, Brain, and Behavior
The Soul in Dostoyevsky, Kierkegaard, and Nietzsche
Preparation for Algebra I (Remedial)
tell me five classes you took in college
shakespeare in the 20th century
international relations theory
the making of the american national myth
biochemistry + molecular modeling lab
wines
shakespeare in the 20th century
international relations theory
the making of the american national myth
biochemistry + molecular modeling lab
wines
January 31, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Five Classes I took in College:
Modern Political Thought
Human Sexuality
Medieval History
Criminological Research Methods
Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
Modern Political Thought
Human Sexuality
Medieval History
Criminological Research Methods
Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
Administration is considering screening Melania in immigration detention centers to get people to self deport.
Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
January 29, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Administration is considering screening Melania in immigration detention centers to get people to self deport.
Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
Back at the spa for a massage and when I laid down she told me to "breathe in and clean my mind."
No es posible señora.
No es posible señora.
On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
January 29, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Back at the spa for a massage and when I laid down she told me to "breathe in and clean my mind."
No es posible señora.
No es posible señora.
Puffing and never passing
January 28, 2026 at 1:44 PM
Puffing and never passing
On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
January 27, 2026 at 8:12 PM
On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
Just inserted the tip AND adjusted the strap.
January 26, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Just inserted the tip AND adjusted the strap.
Reposted by Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
We told you we all needed weapons to defend ourselves against a future government that would shoot us in the streets. What we didn’t tell you is that we have helped bring you that government.
by the NRA
by the NRA
January 24, 2026 at 7:14 PM
We told you we all needed weapons to defend ourselves against a future government that would shoot us in the streets. What we didn’t tell you is that we have helped bring you that government.
by the NRA
by the NRA
Last night I dreamed the impossible dream. I was missing a class during 2L because I was taking a deposition in NYC.
January 24, 2026 at 4:48 PM
Last night I dreamed the impossible dream. I was missing a class during 2L because I was taking a deposition in NYC.
Someone at work just sent a message about a banana "peele"
a group of men are sitting at a table and one of them is wearing a plaid shirt that says comedy central on it
Alt: Jordan Peele saying yikes
media.tenor.com
January 22, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Someone at work just sent a message about a banana "peele"
Why bother there's nothing great happening out here
Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced Theranos CEO, has asked President Donald Trump for an early release from prison after being convicted of defrauding investors, according to a request filed last year with the Department of Justice. https://cnn.it/3NVVHHv
January 22, 2026 at 12:13 PM
Why bother there's nothing great happening out here
Greenland Iceland Maryland what’s the difference
January 21, 2026 at 10:44 PM
Greenland Iceland Maryland what’s the difference
What’s your sign?
(You damn right)
(You damn right)
January 21, 2026 at 12:19 PM
What’s your sign?
(You damn right)
(You damn right)
"Martha Luther King Junior."
"What did he do?"
"He died for our sins."
That kid cracks me up every time
"What did he do?"
"He died for our sins."
That kid cracks me up every time
January 19, 2026 at 2:03 PM
"Martha Luther King Junior."
"What did he do?"
"He died for our sins."
That kid cracks me up every time
"What did he do?"
"He died for our sins."
That kid cracks me up every time
"She's dead."
"Ah...nature's NDA."
☠️
"Ah...nature's NDA."
☠️
January 18, 2026 at 7:23 PM
"She's dead."
"Ah...nature's NDA."
☠️
"Ah...nature's NDA."
☠️
Last night my 11 year old niece discovered that I have been married twice and said "HOW!?!"
January 18, 2026 at 1:11 PM
Last night my 11 year old niece discovered that I have been married twice and said "HOW!?!"
A Boulevardier. Do I have Campari?
January 16, 2026 at 11:42 PM
A Boulevardier. Do I have Campari?
I bet Facebook has been a shit show the past few weeks, but I may have to spend my Monday on there calling out hypocrites posting MLK quotes.
January 16, 2026 at 1:14 PM
I bet Facebook has been a shit show the past few weeks, but I may have to spend my Monday on there calling out hypocrites posting MLK quotes.
My mom (talking to her friend in my presence): My daughter is my head child and my son is my heart child. She is very smart and analytical, and he’s very caring.
Me:
Me:
a man wearing a blonde wig and a mustache is standing in front of a green forest .
Alt: a man wearing a blonde wig and a mustache is standing in front of a green forest mouthing what the fuck
media.tenor.com
January 15, 2026 at 3:40 PM
My mom (talking to her friend in my presence): My daughter is my head child and my son is my heart child. She is very smart and analytical, and he’s very caring.
Me:
Me: