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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

@michaelswaim.bsky.social

6.1K followers 380 following 3.2K posts

Writer, podcaster, comedian - a real hoopy frood you should sass who knows where his towel's @. CV: Small Beans | CRACKED | Some More News | IGN | 1900HOTDOG patreon.com/c/smallbeans

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Dec 8

This is an ongoing thread of MEDIA, ADVICE, TRUISMS that are actually (usually) true, and AMAZING PROJECTS. Below this tweet are replies that split the thread into each of those four topics. Fully soliciting additions, arguments and jokes! Help me raise my son!

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Logging On @logonlog.bsky.social · 4h

logging on

Star Trek: The Next Generation. Dr. Crusher says to Capt. Picard while working on a comatose patient - "We may lose the ability to distinguish between thought and reality."

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Logging On @logonlog.bsky.social · 2d

logging on

Bobby Hill says "is it okay that I feel like I don't want to live anymore?"

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Logging On @logonlog.bsky.social · 2d

logging on

Mark Corrigan from Peep Show. He's thinking "Am I evil? I don't feel evil."

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 4h

For all other POVs of logging on, please follow my new concept acct @logonlog.bsky.social!

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 19

logging on (AI POV)

Two people in weird rubber suits with anxious expressions, one says "We're human."

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 7h

If you wanna drop a like or comment, here's the regular -

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLMc...

The Most In-Depth Groundskeeper Willie Video Ever Made | Simpsons Taught Me Everything

YouTube video by Cracked

www.youtube.com

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 7h

A lot of people won't d/l it or I'd still have my job!

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 8h

You can now watch the 2-hour director's cut of this Simpsons vid ad-free by clicking here!

drive.google.com/file/d/1Zc3j...

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 11

Mirror Universe Sting singing about the horrors of war at the Terok Nor holosuite casino - "And I hope the Founders...love their cups of gooooo"

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Keith W. Dickinson @keithwdickinson.bsky.social · 14h

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

The Verge @theverge.com · May 26

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.

buff.ly

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 21h

sorry, the above gif is from the classic sitcom Alien Life Form.

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 21h

alf from the show sits at a table with the words too obscure written below him

ALT: alf from the show sits at a table with the words too obscure written below him

media.tenor.com

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 22h

Wifin' a Padmeeeeeee
Sure to make ya LOSE yer mind
Wifin' a Padmeeeeeee

Anakin Skywalker looking disturbed, ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 1d

Good likeness tho, they must have used a Will Stencil.

Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

ISS Piss Tracker @iss-piss-tracker.bsky.social · 1d

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Logging On @logonlog.bsky.social · 1d

logging on

Switch 2 game Mario Galaxy. A black Luma says to Mario of a nearby galaxy “But I must warn you that the evil energy readings are off the charts! Please be careful…”

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 11

MY TOP TEN JOKES 😆 AND TOP FIVE REPLIES ⤴️ OF THE WEEK 🧵 (thread)

NUMBER TEN

bsky.app/profile/mich...

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Jul 30

"I mean his name is Anton Sugar, how dangerous can he be?" - dead guy

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 11

Q: hey Quark what's this holo cost?
A: Some kind of Hirogen training program I think

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 10

Not like an all-time bad movie so far, but when he tells his daughter she has to run to the nearest Tesla because it has self-driving so accurate it will enable her to go to safety through the alien apocalypse while giving birth before she bleeds out actually got me to me scream at the screen

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 2d

Our podcast about this hilarious movie also came out hilarious and now you can hear it free!

soundcloud.com/user-6825321...

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 10

it's 2025's 2001

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Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · Aug 10

As we know acting is reacting, and that chain goes all the way back to Act One, the first action that created acting, AKA Original Sin. We're all still looking for the guy who did it.

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 2d

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 2d

When you sit down to smoke a fat blunt over the age of 28:

From the movie "Mazes & Monsters," some people in a cave with lanterns. Foregrounded character shouts out to the heavens "Will the herb give us wisdom or threaten us?"

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michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 2d

Reiterating this just in time to distract you from accomplishing the week's first major task! EXCELLENT vid.

michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @michaelswaim.bsky.social · 3d

If you like my pop culture essay vids you'll LOVE the new longform Freddy take from Will and Daniel Gordh, the minds behind all the Natural Disastronauts sketches from Cracked in the Day, not to mention our most underrated show the Cracked Advice Board with Dr. Cone!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMVu...

Freddy's Revenge is sooo GAY (and why it matters 40 years later)

YouTube video by Manboynice

www.youtube.com

Reposted by michael swaim 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Alex Winter @alexwinter.com · 2d

Every large-scale platform is run by techno-fascists, that's just reality. This is the only social media I'm on because the community of good people is strong and important but it's also vulnerable to the whims of those in charge, who aren't our friends. Best to keep that in mind.

Aveta👾🇭🇹 @aliafonzy.blacksky.app · 2d

Unfortunate update: Link reached out to BlueSky and got email back now on reason.

His appeal is denied. He will remain permanently banned on BlueSky’s side.

Here are the screenshots he just sent me as of 8:22 AM EST(my time)

A screenshot of an email from the Bluesky Moderation Team with the subject line “Bluesky Account Behavior” sent at 22:15. The email states that a Bluesky account controlled by the recipient, with the handle @spacelawshitpost.me, posted a reply with an image where the alt text reads: Charlie Kirk sitting in a white T-shirt that says “Freedom.” A negative consequence follows. The email indicates this post violates Community Guidelines regarding violent or threatening speech, specifically listing threats of violence or physical harm against individuals, groups, institutions, or the general public, and incitement of self-harm or suicide.

A screenshot of an email continuation from the Bluesky Moderation Team displaying a bulleted list of Community Guidelines violations. The first bullet point describes threats of violence or physical harm as including threats or encouragement of violence against individuals, groups, institutions, or the general public. The second bullet point defines incitement of self-harm or suicide as content that encourages self-harm or suicide. The third bullet point explains wishes of harm as expressions of a desire for harm directed at a specific person or group. Below the bullets, a paragraph states that users may not use Bluesky to break the law or cause harm to others and that all users must be treated with respect. The next paragraph informs the recipient that as a result of these violations, your account has been taken down. A closing paragraph thanks the user for doing their part to keep Bluesky a welcoming and empowering place for all users and instructs them to email moderation@blueskyweb.xyz if they have questions or wish to appeal the decision. The email ends with the signature Bluesky Moderation Team.

A screenshot of an email from the Bluesky Moderation Team sent at 08:11 with the subject line Re: Bluesky Account Behavior addressed To: Hide My Email. The email reads:

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to appeal the takedown of your account on Bluesky. We have carefully reviewed your case, including the information you provided and the activity that led to the suspension of your account.

After investigating, we have determined that your account activity was in violation of our community guidelines, specifically promoting hateful content or being disruptive to other users. We take these guidelines seriously to ensure a safe and respectful environment for all our users.

As a result, we regret to inform you that your appeal has been denied, and your account will remain suspended. This decision is final and cannot be reversed. We understand that this may be disappointing news, but we must prioritize the well-being of our community and maintain a consistent enforcement of our policies. We encourage you to review our community guidelines to better understand the expectations we have for user behavior on our platform. Please do not create new accounts, since those will be taken down for ban evasion.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

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