(also that's Astarion talking to him...I eh....my oc walks around nude lol

dont judge me, my ass looks great and ill stare at it if i wanna)

also yes
i am realizing
noko??
and theyre kind of gestral shaped??
and there's the mushroom theme??

dimdim da dididimdim da dadadim dadidam

there are maybe....two more ways i want to play

1. i wanna go druid route of some sort
i wanna do all the fun animalspeaking stuff in that run

2. ...gotta go murderin
i GOTTA
already planned what ill be:
Dark Urge halfling monk
lil guy killin across the entirety of Faerun with their bare hands

or at least enough
there's too much basic knowledge i dont know, i need to put information to names
i hate having words like duergar and drow and meezel in my head and not knowing what their signficance is
its fun to word soup, but its magic to understand why the taste is what it is, at least to me

and tbh with myself its almost assuredly cuz its keeping me off social media lol...i dont hate the people who're here watching my stuff but ya gurl has needed a place of safety at least mentally
and right now its placing my face in Karlach's tits until I can cosplay Ghost Rider

like there's not enough talk about that i feel like
i mean there is, but its only ever as weaponization by ppl who are too lazy to have morals, so its easy for them to "nyurhur snowflakes" on ppl

we need clearer, actionable conversation about when our world shrinks back down to just us

and im not dumb
i know i shouldnt be making my joy and amusement about other people
but im the kind of person and im in the kind of situation where asking me to be chill with being alone and knowing that the things i want to enjoy are things people enjoy as a group pmuch all the time?
its kinda mean

also i got sad last night because i was realizing, as much fun as ive been having with BG3, i dont really have anyone to share the fun of the experience with
i mean its half of why im spamming it here, cuz if i dont, ill have moments where i sit too still and

problem is
sleep is such a factory reset for emotions
i know and remember that i did everything i could last night to sear into my brain that what i was sad about was important, and it absolutely was and is
but it's like...when you erase a chalkboard
its all gone, but you still see all the chalkdust

and why, you might ask, am i not appreciating the doomed yuri for what it is?

no idea

...okay i do know why but
its personal

like you gotta understand i will still cover my face while watching a movie sometimes and be watching it through a hole between my fingers, just because im feeling the emotions of the characters' situations too closely
after a while i just....woof
my barbarian romancing the rogue was doomed af

also nothing against Astarion or anyone who loves vamps..but like EVERY "approval" rating of his is about being so toxic lol
and...mrm
fun fact about me....its hard for me to even choose toxicity in simulations
im so heavily emotionally affected by any narrative i put in my head, and im VERY aware