Mr. Delicious
@misterdelicious.bsky.social
Hello, I'm Mr. Delicious, the man who took Rax Roast Beef to strange new places, like bankruptcy court. Dickety-dee! (Not affiliated with the real Rax.)
Rax is the only restaurant that places a small chair near your table for their mascot to sit and stare at you. Sometimes Mr. D may whimper or touch himself, but not in a distracting way. His therapist calls it "disturbing," but we beg to differ.
The cuck chair, only at Rax. Mmm... uncomfortable!
The cuck chair, only at Rax. Mmm... uncomfortable!
December 29, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Rax is the only restaurant that places a small chair near your table for their mascot to sit and stare at you. Sometimes Mr. D may whimper or touch himself, but not in a distracting way. His therapist calls it "disturbing," but we beg to differ.
The cuck chair, only at Rax. Mmm... uncomfortable!
The cuck chair, only at Rax. Mmm... uncomfortable!
There comes a time when you need to settle. And if you're eating at Rax, it's now.
Introducing the ButtSteak. 100% pure anus, boiled as close to perfection as we get. Our delicate preparation really lets the taste of butt shine, if that's your thing. It's as close as you can get to rimming a cow.
Introducing the ButtSteak. 100% pure anus, boiled as close to perfection as we get. Our delicate preparation really lets the taste of butt shine, if that's your thing. It's as close as you can get to rimming a cow.
December 26, 2025 at 12:33 AM
There comes a time when you need to settle. And if you're eating at Rax, it's now.
Introducing the ButtSteak. 100% pure anus, boiled as close to perfection as we get. Our delicate preparation really lets the taste of butt shine, if that's your thing. It's as close as you can get to rimming a cow.
Introducing the ButtSteak. 100% pure anus, boiled as close to perfection as we get. Our delicate preparation really lets the taste of butt shine, if that's your thing. It's as close as you can get to rimming a cow.
That Claymation Christmas special we made starring the Rax Meat Wads may never get shown anymore these days. But it taught kids a valuable lesson about preservatives and their effects.
December 25, 2025 at 11:30 PM
That Claymation Christmas special we made starring the Rax Meat Wads may never get shown anymore these days. But it taught kids a valuable lesson about preservatives and their effects.
This whole operation is kind of a Ratatouille deal, except the rats are sadists who hate people.
December 22, 2025 at 1:57 AM
This whole operation is kind of a Ratatouille deal, except the rats are sadists who hate people.
How is Rax still in business? Every blood moon, Mr. D must wrestle God Himself atop a mountain in the Infinity Void to determine our fate. And it also helps that local political figures share in the guilt for letting us open to begin with.
December 20, 2025 at 3:25 AM
How is Rax still in business? Every blood moon, Mr. D must wrestle God Himself atop a mountain in the Infinity Void to determine our fate. And it also helps that local political figures share in the guilt for letting us open to begin with.
Rax may be a liminal shadow realm, straddling the event horizon between life and death; a swirling vortex of concentrated chaos and existential angst. But on Fridays, our Meatosaurus Rax sandwich is 20% off.
Rax: It's okay to scream.
Rax: It's okay to scream.
December 20, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Rax may be a liminal shadow realm, straddling the event horizon between life and death; a swirling vortex of concentrated chaos and existential angst. But on Fridays, our Meatosaurus Rax sandwich is 20% off.
Rax: It's okay to scream.
Rax: It's okay to scream.
In retrospect, yes, we do mildly regret our "Slam the filth" slogan and associated ad campaign. But what can we say? Sex sells.
December 19, 2025 at 11:52 PM
In retrospect, yes, we do mildly regret our "Slam the filth" slogan and associated ad campaign. But what can we say? Sex sells.
A ghost came and showed Mr. D what the world would be like had he never been born. There were flying cars, home cold fusion generators, and Ohio was inhabitable. Also, the Noid ruled society with an iron fist, as Malleus Divinus Potentiae Noidvs I.
December 19, 2025 at 7:58 PM
A ghost came and showed Mr. D what the world would be like had he never been born. There were flying cars, home cold fusion generators, and Ohio was inhabitable. Also, the Noid ruled society with an iron fist, as Malleus Divinus Potentiae Noidvs I.
Our sandwiches are unnervingly dry, so they're extra-absorbent when you cry into them. Also, they derive thier powers from siphoning negative emotions from diners.
Rax: You Are the Food
Rax: You Are the Food
December 18, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Our sandwiches are unnervingly dry, so they're extra-absorbent when you cry into them. Also, they derive thier powers from siphoning negative emotions from diners.
Rax: You Are the Food
Rax: You Are the Food
People really didn't like the edgy Rax Home Video production of A Christmas Carol, where Tiny Tim was a stripper who worked in Scrooge's Meat House. But the sequel set in Hawaii was surprisingly well-received. Some say it's Kubrick's finest later work.
December 16, 2025 at 9:26 PM
People really didn't like the edgy Rax Home Video production of A Christmas Carol, where Tiny Tim was a stripper who worked in Scrooge's Meat House. But the sequel set in Hawaii was surprisingly well-received. Some say it's Kubrick's finest later work.
The Raxland Christmas Special was notable for being one of the few holiday cartoons where none of the characters survive. But kids learned a valuable lesson about how the word "inflammable" actually means flammable, whether the suits at NBC wanted them to or not.
December 14, 2025 at 11:58 PM
The Raxland Christmas Special was notable for being one of the few holiday cartoons where none of the characters survive. But kids learned a valuable lesson about how the word "inflammable" actually means flammable, whether the suits at NBC wanted them to or not.
If we're not a front for a series of bare-knuckle underground fight clubs, where the only rule is that mayhem is survival, then what are we? A roast beef restaurant chain?
December 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
If we're not a front for a series of bare-knuckle underground fight clubs, where the only rule is that mayhem is survival, then what are we? A roast beef restaurant chain?
Each bite of the Rax Whatchamatasteit has a different flavor, so you'll never guess the exact species of millipede involved.
December 13, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Each bite of the Rax Whatchamatasteit has a different flavor, so you'll never guess the exact species of millipede involved.
For the last time, Mr. D didn't steal Christmas! He pawned it; there's a big difference.
December 12, 2025 at 11:51 PM
For the last time, Mr. D didn't steal Christmas! He pawned it; there's a big difference.
We considered serving our food in a bucket, so when you invariably vomited, you'd have an easy solution for containing it. Except no bucket could contain it.
December 12, 2025 at 11:49 PM
We considered serving our food in a bucket, so when you invariably vomited, you'd have an easy solution for containing it. Except no bucket could contain it.
Every year, Junior Delicious asks why Santa wraps all his presents in Rax napkins. And why the presents are all from the Rax lost and found. Which isn't technically accurate; many of them were stolen.
December 12, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Every year, Junior Delicious asks why Santa wraps all his presents in Rax napkins. And why the presents are all from the Rax lost and found. Which isn't technically accurate; many of them were stolen.
The Rax intimacy coordinator will try to balance your desire to eat your meal in peace with Mr. D's desire for a no-holds-barred, triple-X hedonistic throwdown with the entire dining area at once.
December 7, 2025 at 12:27 PM
The Rax intimacy coordinator will try to balance your desire to eat your meal in peace with Mr. D's desire for a no-holds-barred, triple-X hedonistic throwdown with the entire dining area at once.
We're suing the manufacturers of the Manwich, because we're pretty sure there's more man in our sandwiches than theirs, and we have better claim to the name.
December 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
We're suing the manufacturers of the Manwich, because we're pretty sure there's more man in our sandwiches than theirs, and we have better claim to the name.
Did you know that during World War II, the British were forced to subsist off of Rax (or, as it was popularly called, "The King's Brown Porridge")?
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
December 5, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Did you know that during World War II, the British were forced to subsist off of Rax (or, as it was popularly called, "The King's Brown Porridge")?
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
They eventually air-dropped it on Germany to force their surrender.
You might think you can escape the horrors by unfollowing Mr. D. But there's no forgetting the sight of a Personal Plopper sandwich; the stale cigarette odor of the Rax solarium; or the cold, clammy feel of Mr. D's sticky handshake.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
December 4, 2025 at 8:21 PM
You might think you can escape the horrors by unfollowing Mr. D. But there's no forgetting the sight of a Personal Plopper sandwich; the stale cigarette odor of the Rax solarium; or the cold, clammy feel of Mr. D's sticky handshake.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Rax: As much a part of you as that parasite we gave you.
Hopefully none of our staff was expecting a Christmas bonus this year. Or at least, one not involving Mr. D's tongue.
December 3, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Hopefully none of our staff was expecting a Christmas bonus this year. Or at least, one not involving Mr. D's tongue.
The only thing on Mr. D's Spotify Wrapped list this year is "Screams of the Foresaken Volume LXIX." But in his defense, it's when the series really found its groove, and some of it was recorded right here in our restaurant bathroom.
December 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
The only thing on Mr. D's Spotify Wrapped list this year is "Screams of the Foresaken Volume LXIX." But in his defense, it's when the series really found its groove, and some of it was recorded right here in our restaurant bathroom.
Rax may have lost the Franchise Wars, but we won the race to the bottom!
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
December 1, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Rax may have lost the Franchise Wars, but we won the race to the bottom!
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
Rax: It can't get any worse. Can it?
We don't have any Michelin stars, but we did steal the toilet paper and light bulbs from the bathroom of a nearby tire store.
November 28, 2025 at 9:13 PM
We don't have any Michelin stars, but we did steal the toilet paper and light bulbs from the bathroom of a nearby tire store.
It's okay that we serve sanitary napkins as regular napkins. They're sanitary! Unlike the vast majority of things that cross our tables.
November 27, 2025 at 9:42 PM
It's okay that we serve sanitary napkins as regular napkins. They're sanitary! Unlike the vast majority of things that cross our tables.