Neighbors had gardeners working and they dropped a bunch of branches into our yard directly onto my son’s garden. Maybe look over the fence next time assholes? And be more careful! If his sunflower dies before the flower blooms I’m gonna be big mad.

The amount of headlines I’ve seen lately that made me think “not a drag queen” is wild. What is wrong with cis men?!

High: Walked into the panadería and they had my favorite pan dulce which they haven’t had the last few times.
Low: Got to work, was about to take a bite, got a bad smell, and upon inspection found it was moldy inside. Had to toss it in the trash.

Why are 11, 12, 13, & 15 not pronounced as oneteen, twoteen, threeteen, and fiveteen like 14, 16, 17, 18, & 19?

My son doesn’t like football, but when I turned the game on to catch the Kendrick performance he saw the Chiefs uniforms and declared “I love the red team!” I told him Taylor Swift’s boyfriend plays on that team and he replied “then I guess I love Taylor Swift’s boyfriend!” Oh how I love this child.

Romantic texts I get from my husband while I’m at work: “Somebody took a shit in the urinal here wtf 🤣”

My kid keeps confusing Tom and Jerry and calling them Jom and Terry and I just think it’s so cute.

My husband just realized that Jesus was non-binary and asexual.

Girls!

Found the perfect Pokémon to sum up my 2025 vibe. I present to you: Drizzile.

Joy is an act of resistance against despair. Don’t let anyone take it from you — and don’t be afraid to feel it even in times of darkness. 🩷

Got my 4 year old his first library card today. 📚

I stand by Pure Deliciousness.
Pineapple GOES ON PIZZA

Just randomly remembered the time where I had pink eye but no health insurance so the guy I was dating got infected from me on purpose so he could get the eye drop prescription to share with me. Surely that’s an only in the USA story.

Had to call 911 for a cow grazing on the side of the road today. Surprisingly my first time doing that.

It finally happened. I finished the peanut butter and had to just throw the container in the trash because I no longer have a dog to give it to. 😭

Okay, fine, it is possible for me to like math.

In no particular order, post 10 things you like:

1. Disneyland
2. Emo music
3. Grilled cheese
4. Halloween
5. Animal Crossing
6. Caesar salad
7. Mario Kart
8. Pokémon Go
9. Shopping local
10. Coffee shop vibes