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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️

@mrstales.bsky.social

1.1K followers 1K following 5.8K posts

• The thinking person's crumpet 😘 • Neurodivergent OCD fighter • Late 40s bbw, enm ♾️, bi-ish, sapio and demi, UK-based • https://linktr.ee/MrsTales - for my NGL and other stuff! • Sometimes nsfw. 🔞

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · Nov 24

My kinks?

- trust
- respect
- chemistry
- an open, sexy mind

and

- a sense of humour.

I know, I know...

I'm *really* fucking perverted! 😈

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 12h

😄

Reposted by Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️

Kate Sloan (she/her) @katesloan.com · 13h

“Sexiness is about sensuality & physicality; it’s about the way you engage the senses to create a particular feeling or experience. Sex, after all, is about the body’s perceptions; the more you can bring all one’s senses into play, the sexier… you can be.”

www.doctornerdlove.com/i-want-to-fe...

I Want To Feel Sexier. What Should I Do?

He's a decent looking guy , but he wants to be SEXY. How can he be the hot, desirable man of his wife's Bridgerton-esque dreams?

www.doctornerdlove.com

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 12h

Have a big crush on her.

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 14h

Celebrity Traitors!!! 😍

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 14h

My prediction is that he will be voted out pretty soon for being too damn smart - he's a tall poppy and they don't tend to do so well. Best players stay somewhere in the middle of things without drawing too much attention to themselves.

But it could all play out differently ofc. Am excited!

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 15h

Watch it! It's fantastic!

(Though disturbed to find out you don't like Stephen Fry)

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 15h

🫂🫂🫂🫂

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 15h

Makes sense...it's always the quiet ones you have to watch... 😉

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Blossom Puzzle, October 8
Letters: A C E N G I S
My score: 316 points
My longest word: 9 letters
🏵 🌼 🌹 🌺 💮 🌷 💐 🌻 🌸

😘

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Origin story: I started off as Tale of Two Titties 'cos I have big boobs & a penchant for literary puns.

But that was a long name for followers to type when they only had limited characters - so people started calling me Tales.

And thus, Mrs Tales was born...

Albert @albertcumus.bsky.social · 3d

Origin story: an absolutely appalling pun on Albert Camus, imho the finest thinker of the 20th century.

It was meant to signify bold philosophical and moral clarity with a side-portion of sexytime. Instead you got, well, this. Apols.

🖤LilacVA🖤 @lilacinthespring.bsky.social · 3d

Okay, grabbing your popcorn. This is going to be a long story.

The story behind my name is....

Because lilacs are my favorite flower and shade of purple.

Okay bye💜

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Reposted by Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️

HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 1d

You don't get a better dangers of drugs advert than Bez not remembering how Step on goes. #buzzcocks

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Reposted by Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️

Risque Draws 🔞✍️☕ @risquedraws.bsky.social · 1d

Kinktober2025 - Oct 7 - Mutual Masturbation 💞

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Oh! Is that the accepted way?

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Hooligan? 😄

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

So jealous! You met him?

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Ping 5 moots and post 2 of your favourite characters

@darthquiz.bsky.social
@hungryjoe.bsky.social
@oldandmature.bsky.social
@antonycarter.bsky.social
@suzu1982.bsky.social

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Afraid so!

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

😘❤️

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

It's a good one!

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Um, no, they'll chuck me out of the Lego Store!

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Alt text:
An extreme close-up of my nipples and areolas. They are pale pink against white skin and look like huge cartoon eyes.

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

It's almost like they follow you around the room...👀 😆

#TittiesTuesday

Full screen and landscape ftw! ( o )( o )

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 1d

Blossom Puzzle, October 7
Letters: A D E L F R U
My score: 273 points
My longest word: 8 letters
🌸 🌺 🏵 🌻 🌹 💐 🌼 💮

I am very annoyed that I couldn't quite beat @darthquiz.bsky.social !

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Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 2d

😆

Mrs Tales of the Unexpected 🎃👻🧙‍♀️ @mrstales.bsky.social · 2d

How do I get a home visit? 😏

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