"You want certain, hire yourself a witch. I'm just your cook!"

I think if I were a woman giving dating advice, it would probably be rather brief. "Proceed with extreme caution." You may be safer playing hopscotch in a minefield.

I suppose when you see women as a trophy to be won, everything you do feels like a strategic move in a game only you are playing.

Refurbished? It may not be certified, but it will certainly be certifiable.

🤮

I'm quite certain many of the passengers would have voted to do exactly that, just because they didn't get to see the iceberg up close the first time.

Oh, you don't need an awful father to teach you to be wary of men. The moment a girl steps outside her door, there will be plenty of fellows willing to teach her that leason the hard way.

For everyone, including Supreme Court justices.

It's quite enjoyable. Unfortunately, I have whatever the opposite of a green thumb is. 😞

Do what I did and plant a little garden. Then, when they die, at least you know it's because you killed them yourself. RiP, sweet gardenias. We barely knew you.

I ordered crab legs at a restaurant once. They served me a plate of crab legs and this little tool to dig out the meat. Didn't like that. Felt like the self check-out lane of seafood. I'm paying you guys. You dig out the meat. 🤨

Have they demanded that you fire yourself?

😁🍻🎉