Nief
@nief.bsky.social
(No Longer) Gin Powered, (Still) Sleep Deprived and (Always) Perpetually Confused.
Pinned
Nief
@nief.bsky.social
· Jun 13
Step 1: Make the plan.
Step 2: Execute the plan.
Step 3: Expect the plan to go off the rails.
Step 4: Throw away the plan
Step 2: Execute the plan.
Step 3: Expect the plan to go off the rails.
Step 4: Throw away the plan
HR and Engineering Manager;
Hi Guys! I know its the last day before we break for Christmas, but we have 3 new guys starting with the new year.
Can you find desks for them, and make sure they all have hardware and stuff ready ?
...
Hi Guys! I know its the last day before we break for Christmas, but we have 3 new guys starting with the new year.
Can you find desks for them, and make sure they all have hardware and stuff ready ?
...
December 23, 2025 at 11:09 PM
HR and Engineering Manager;
Hi Guys! I know its the last day before we break for Christmas, but we have 3 new guys starting with the new year.
Can you find desks for them, and make sure they all have hardware and stuff ready ?
...
Hi Guys! I know its the last day before we break for Christmas, but we have 3 new guys starting with the new year.
Can you find desks for them, and make sure they all have hardware and stuff ready ?
...
Gerald was begining to suspect that someone was fucking with the genetically modified experimental plant crops again.
Literally.
Literally.
December 21, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Gerald was begining to suspect that someone was fucking with the genetically modified experimental plant crops again.
Literally.
Literally.
Brain: Yay! I found the remote for the upstairs fan!
Me: No you didnt, You found the remote for the projector, which is nothing like the remote for the fan, Not even the same colour.
Brain: shut up.
Me: No you didnt, You found the remote for the projector, which is nothing like the remote for the fan, Not even the same colour.
Brain: shut up.
December 20, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Brain: Yay! I found the remote for the upstairs fan!
Me: No you didnt, You found the remote for the projector, which is nothing like the remote for the fan, Not even the same colour.
Brain: shut up.
Me: No you didnt, You found the remote for the projector, which is nothing like the remote for the fan, Not even the same colour.
Brain: shut up.
Reposted by Nief
also designing and writing code is the fun part. make an AI that goes chasing down half a dozen stakeholders and gets them to agree on requirements or something.
December 19, 2025 at 11:51 PM
also designing and writing code is the fun part. make an AI that goes chasing down half a dozen stakeholders and gets them to agree on requirements or something.
Things you learn when your sister calls you drunk at midnight on a Friday.
1 - Your Father is in Palliative Care.
2 - Your mother may as well be in palliative care, But Not the same one as your father since he’s a certified senile violent nutjob that is under 24 hour watch in case he tries to escape
1 - Your Father is in Palliative Care.
2 - Your mother may as well be in palliative care, But Not the same one as your father since he’s a certified senile violent nutjob that is under 24 hour watch in case he tries to escape
December 19, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Things you learn when your sister calls you drunk at midnight on a Friday.
1 - Your Father is in Palliative Care.
2 - Your mother may as well be in palliative care, But Not the same one as your father since he’s a certified senile violent nutjob that is under 24 hour watch in case he tries to escape
1 - Your Father is in Palliative Care.
2 - Your mother may as well be in palliative care, But Not the same one as your father since he’s a certified senile violent nutjob that is under 24 hour watch in case he tries to escape
The Big Red Friendly Flower had evolved alongside the rather terrifying Clown People of Ringside 4.
No one quite understood how, or why, But they all agreed the flower was indeed Big, Red and Friendly.
No one quite understood how, or why, But they all agreed the flower was indeed Big, Red and Friendly.
December 19, 2025 at 4:28 AM
The Big Red Friendly Flower had evolved alongside the rather terrifying Clown People of Ringside 4.
No one quite understood how, or why, But they all agreed the flower was indeed Big, Red and Friendly.
No one quite understood how, or why, But they all agreed the flower was indeed Big, Red and Friendly.
Here is some kind of... Audrey.
December 18, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Here is some kind of... Audrey.
Reposted by Nief
In #melbourne today it's reaching 38°C, but that number doesn't tell the full story of what it'll be like in the city. We took these temperature readings at a bus stop and an unshaded tram stop in #Brunswick. Today is a great day to do the #SummerSurvey swelteringcities.typeform.com/summersurvey26
December 18, 2025 at 2:26 AM
In #melbourne today it's reaching 38°C, but that number doesn't tell the full story of what it'll be like in the city. We took these temperature readings at a bus stop and an unshaded tram stop in #Brunswick. Today is a great day to do the #SummerSurvey swelteringcities.typeform.com/summersurvey26
Oh For Fucks Sake.
Eng: "New Feature! Go Test!"
Me: "Um.. once I enable this setting, I can't change it back"
Eng: "Oh.. You need to Do $x,$y,$z before you can change it back"
Me: "But what about end users that decide they dont want this feature after evaluating it?"
Eng: "End users cant do that"
Eng: "New Feature! Go Test!"
Me: "Um.. once I enable this setting, I can't change it back"
Eng: "Oh.. You need to Do $x,$y,$z before you can change it back"
Me: "But what about end users that decide they dont want this feature after evaluating it?"
Eng: "End users cant do that"
December 16, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Oh For Fucks Sake.
Eng: "New Feature! Go Test!"
Me: "Um.. once I enable this setting, I can't change it back"
Eng: "Oh.. You need to Do $x,$y,$z before you can change it back"
Me: "But what about end users that decide they dont want this feature after evaluating it?"
Eng: "End users cant do that"
Eng: "New Feature! Go Test!"
Me: "Um.. once I enable this setting, I can't change it back"
Eng: "Oh.. You need to Do $x,$y,$z before you can change it back"
Me: "But what about end users that decide they dont want this feature after evaluating it?"
Eng: "End users cant do that"
Reposted by Nief
Just so I'm clear on this, computer memory has tripled in price because a bunch of it that hasn't been produced yet has been ordered to populate GPUs that aren't installed in data centers that aren't built yet in order to service a demand that doesn't exist to make profits that don't happen.
December 15, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Just so I'm clear on this, computer memory has tripled in price because a bunch of it that hasn't been produced yet has been ordered to populate GPUs that aren't installed in data centers that aren't built yet in order to service a demand that doesn't exist to make profits that don't happen.
Reposted by Nief
Could all the American influencers pushing in tandem for more guns in Australian just Fuck. The. Hell. Off. Thank you.
December 14, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Could all the American influencers pushing in tandem for more guns in Australian just Fuck. The. Hell. Off. Thank you.
Having opened up with both barrels (metaphorically) In works latest 'engagement survey' on how my job at the momemt seems to be solely to act as a buffer between Engineering and the consequences of their own stupid decisions, along with being pressured to return early from my post surgery leave
December 14, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Having opened up with both barrels (metaphorically) In works latest 'engagement survey' on how my job at the momemt seems to be solely to act as a buffer between Engineering and the consequences of their own stupid decisions, along with being pressured to return early from my post surgery leave
And Lo! Did he take for his symbol the arched window so that all who looked upon it would become his!
Thus it was that the children were the first to be claimed.
Thus it was that the children were the first to be claimed.
December 14, 2025 at 6:46 AM
And Lo! Did he take for his symbol the arched window so that all who looked upon it would become his!
Thus it was that the children were the first to be claimed.
Thus it was that the children were the first to be claimed.
"Constable, Let me put it this way.
When it comes to arresting a God, there are two types of Copper ;
The first is the sort of Copper who'll show no hesitation in getting a bit of their own back. An accidental fall down the stairs followed by the putting the boot in.
You with me?
When it comes to arresting a God, there are two types of Copper ;
The first is the sort of Copper who'll show no hesitation in getting a bit of their own back. An accidental fall down the stairs followed by the putting the boot in.
You with me?
December 14, 2025 at 12:31 AM
"Constable, Let me put it this way.
When it comes to arresting a God, there are two types of Copper ;
The first is the sort of Copper who'll show no hesitation in getting a bit of their own back. An accidental fall down the stairs followed by the putting the boot in.
You with me?
When it comes to arresting a God, there are two types of Copper ;
The first is the sort of Copper who'll show no hesitation in getting a bit of their own back. An accidental fall down the stairs followed by the putting the boot in.
You with me?
"Constable, I keep this Golden Apple on my desk NOT because I am trying to keep a Very Expensive Doctor away, But because every so often I need to remind myself that even Gods can be Petty, Vindictive, Childish and remarkably human."
"What then sir? After you've reminded yourself of...well.. that"
"What then sir? After you've reminded yourself of...well.. that"
December 14, 2025 at 12:01 AM
"Constable, I keep this Golden Apple on my desk NOT because I am trying to keep a Very Expensive Doctor away, But because every so often I need to remind myself that even Gods can be Petty, Vindictive, Childish and remarkably human."
"What then sir? After you've reminded yourself of...well.. that"
"What then sir? After you've reminded yourself of...well.. that"
Today just keeps on getting better;
Me: "Hi, Do we have a mechanism in place to upload log files once they hit a certain size?"
QA: "Log files are uploaded every 6 hours or on reboot" *pastes link to doc*
Me: "Thats for the old models, the new ones are every 2 hours.
Me: "Hi, Do we have a mechanism in place to upload log files once they hit a certain size?"
QA: "Log files are uploaded every 6 hours or on reboot" *pastes link to doc*
Me: "Thats for the old models, the new ones are every 2 hours.
December 12, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Today just keeps on getting better;
Me: "Hi, Do we have a mechanism in place to upload log files once they hit a certain size?"
QA: "Log files are uploaded every 6 hours or on reboot" *pastes link to doc*
Me: "Thats for the old models, the new ones are every 2 hours.
Me: "Hi, Do we have a mechanism in place to upload log files once they hit a certain size?"
QA: "Log files are uploaded every 6 hours or on reboot" *pastes link to doc*
Me: "Thats for the old models, the new ones are every 2 hours.
Sitting in a presentation meeting about a new feature and afrer identifying several points of concern the lead dev literally said “Well, The priority of this was to get it out”
Fuck Me…
Fuck Me…
December 11, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Sitting in a presentation meeting about a new feature and afrer identifying several points of concern the lead dev literally said “Well, The priority of this was to get it out”
Fuck Me…
Fuck Me…
"We have someone here with a verifiable internet usage history that's older than most of the people working here..."
"Better check him, He could be an Australian kid in disguise"
Fucking Idiots.
"Better check him, He could be an Australian kid in disguise"
Fucking Idiots.
December 11, 2025 at 5:33 AM
"We have someone here with a verifiable internet usage history that's older than most of the people working here..."
"Better check him, He could be an Australian kid in disguise"
Fucking Idiots.
"Better check him, He could be an Australian kid in disguise"
Fucking Idiots.
Wow.. Thanks @bsky.app for asking me to click a button which consults some arbitrary source to verify my age without explaining HOW or WHO it's using with any detail
Never mind the fact that my *email address* is old enough to drink,vote, get married, get divorced and have grandchildren.
Never mind the fact that my *email address* is old enough to drink,vote, get married, get divorced and have grandchildren.
December 11, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Wow.. Thanks @bsky.app for asking me to click a button which consults some arbitrary source to verify my age without explaining HOW or WHO it's using with any detail
Never mind the fact that my *email address* is old enough to drink,vote, get married, get divorced and have grandchildren.
Never mind the fact that my *email address* is old enough to drink,vote, get married, get divorced and have grandchildren.
Me: "Look, You've flat out told me there's no opportunity here to assist me with learning or increasing my knowledge of MySQL, And if that's the case, I'm fine with that, But YOU dont get to stand there and get upset that "I'm, not doing anything to improve myself and my knowledge"
December 11, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Me: "Look, You've flat out told me there's no opportunity here to assist me with learning or increasing my knowledge of MySQL, And if that's the case, I'm fine with that, But YOU dont get to stand there and get upset that "I'm, not doing anything to improve myself and my knowledge"
